"Alex I want to talk with you," I texted him. I wasn't sure whether he would reply, but I hoped that he did not hate me to that extent.
"What is it? I am busy," he replied.
"I won't take more than a minute" I replied him.
"Yes?" He said.
"What should I ask him? I don't know why are you not talking with me Alex?" I texted.
"It's not that I am not talking with you. I am replying to you," he texted
"I want to know why you are not texting or speaking with me like before" I texted.
I was in a state. I didn't know what I was feeling. My heart hurt. I wanted to scream at top of my lungs that I loved him but I was not bold enough. He was already moving away from me. I was afraid to confess to him now. He would leave me forever. I was afraid even to look at his reply and see what he had texted.
"It's nothing like that, I got busy with my college admission and you got busy with your life, that is all" he replied.
You were busy even then; you never complained that you were busy, when you were busy with your project or with the club activity but why now? I asked him.
"I need space, that's all I am asking. I need space, Thesika," he said.
"I waited for you this long," I replied.
"You waited for me? Never, Thesika. You ignored me. How many times I pleaded with you to talk to me, but you just ignored me," he texted.
"I never ignored you Alex. I might have replied slowly but I never ignored you. I can never ignore you, Alex" I replied.
"I cannot take what you say now, Thesika. My heart cannot accept your explanation. I need time, Thesika. I might not able to talk like how I used to talk with you before, but one day I will talk with you just like how I talked with you before," he texted me.
"You are changed Alex, your attitude, everything about you has changed," I texted.
"Did I change? It is you who changed, Thesika and you made me change. You changed completely and now you are complaining to me of change," he texted me back.
"What do you want Alex? What you want me to do Alex. I gave you what you wanted. I gave you the space. I moved away from you. I wanted to move away from you but I cannot," I texted him back.
"You gave me space? You made me to hate you, Thesika". How many times I pleaded with you? How many times I told you that I was sorry but you never heeded my pleas. That is why I moved away from you. I am sorry but I cannot help it. Give some time. That's all I want," he replied.
He hated me, but Alex, I loved you. Should I tell him that I loved him? No, I shouldn't. He will move too far away from me. I cannot let that happen. My love will remain secret within me. I will never let him know that I loved him.
"I am sorry, Alex. I know I hurt you a lot. I am sorry, really I am sorry" I texted.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. He hated me. I was no more in his life. He left me. I should not have hurt him. It was my fault entirely.