Christmas was around the corner and my life had been surprisingly great so far. Though I claimed Ron didn't matter to me anymore, part of me still feared the consequences I had to face after the fallout. I didn't know what I had expected, perhaps I feared that I'd be cut off from my other friends, or to become the common enemy, or the laughing stock in Gryffindor.
But nothing happened, simply nothing happened. I wondered if Ron had finally realized what he was doing and came into terms with it. He didn't bother me after that day and hadn't been talking to me much, which I had no complaints about.
This allowed me to spend more time with Malfoy, which was wonderful. We tried our best to enjoy our days before the fateful event that was bound to happen.
"There's no way for this to be undone," Malfoy repeatedly hit his forehead against the desk symbolically in the library while holding a thick leather-bound spell book. "I messed up."
"Did I hear it right? Did you just acknowledge the fact that you messed up?" I was sitting next to him with one hand on his shoulder, half-smiling.
"Yes, I did," he put the books down. "This is a serious matter, and somehow you found it funny."
"I don't think it's funny," I was still smiling. "I just think it's a rare sight that you admit you did something wrong."
"Come on now, Granger," he sat straight and turned to look at me, and the smile on my face faded. "What are we going to do now?"
"What do you mean?" I frowned.
"How can you be so relaxed about it is beyond me," he raised one brow. "Is this some kind of revenge you are plotting against me? You confessed you love me only to hurt me because you know you'd forget all about me in a few days."
"First, I'd like you to trust me," I sighed. "Second, I didn't go through all the altercation with Ron to plot something ridiculous."
Malfoy looked at me, then looked away. I didn't know what he was thinking, but I knew he was as concerned as I was. Quite frankly, I don't blame him for not trusting me. After all that happened over the years, it was hard for someone like him to build trust. But I was there to change that.
"I'd be sad if I lose you," he mumbled, looking outside the window.
"You won't lose me," I smiled and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "I fell for you once, and that will happen again."
I didn't even know if I believed my words, but I hoped they would comfort him a little.
"Well, I was thinking if you want to join me for Christmas," he changed the topic. "My parents will be away, and I'd be alone in the house. It would be nice if I can have some company."
"You know…"
"That is if you somehow remember what it is between us," he added swiftly. I could hear the melancholy in his voice.
"What I was about to say," I said slowly while carefully observing his reactions, "was that Ginny asked me to go hang out with her family. Harry's going to be there as well."
"And?" He didn't seem to be too pleased.
"And I said I'd go," I said in a low voice and added before he could say anything, "you know, I didn't expect you to ask me, on top of that, there's the situation we need to face."
"So, you'd rather hang out with Weasley," he crossed his arm.
"No, I'd rather hang out with you," I was trying to reason, "but as I said, I didn't expect you to ask me."
"You'd rather hang out with Weasley," he repeated.
"Malfoy, has your reasoning skills flown out of the window?" I laughed out of frustration, "Ginny asked me first. And if you have to say something like I'd rather hang out with Weasley, and just be to clear, that would be Ginny Weasley and not Ron Weasley."
He curled his lips and pretended to be mad.
"Are you jealous?" I asked without thinking too much. "Is that why? You don't want me to spend time with Ron even though he and I are no longer on much of a talking term."
He looked away then looked back at me before finally murmured in a barely audible voice:
"Maybe."
Sometimes I just didn't know how to handle Draco Malfoy, who I thought had way less of an emotional range than he actually did.
"Ah, Malfoy," I laughed while he looked at me like a lost puppy, "I love you."
"I love you too," he didn't laugh. "But this discussion is not over. I will not accept how you dared to choose Weasley over me."
All I did was shaking my head. While these days Malfoy spent in the library trying to find a way to counter the potion, I wrote down all the details of our interactions from the very beginning in a journal and made sure that would be the first thing I read when the day comes.
Perhaps magic couldn't solve the problem that a journal could.
Did I tell Malfoy about this? Absolutely not.