The doomed judgement day had come. If I had to describe how I felt, it was like pulling out the tower card and the death card at once in a tarot reading. And that was coming from me, who was never much of an advocate for divination.
We were on our last day before Christmas break. The entire school was decorated to celebrate the holiday, but I didn't feel the slightest of jolly atmosphere. I tries all I could to put on my best act, pretending there was nothing wrong. And so did Malfoy. But Ginny, being the sharp one she had always been, pulled me aside after dinner while we were walking back to the Gryffindor tower.
"So, you are going to tell me or not?" She blinked a few times, with her arm wrapped around mine.
"Tell you about what?" I asked in confusion.
"Come on, Hermione, something's going on between you and Malfoy," Ginny curled her lip. "You two have been acting weird the whole day. What happened? Got into a fight?"
"No, we are fine," I lied. "What make you think that way?"
"Ron and I were at the Quidditch practice this morning and Malfoy came with the Slytherin team after us. Ron made some sarcastic remarks to Malfoy and Malfoy said nothing," Ginny said unbelievably. "He said nothing, all he did was shake his head and told Ron that he didn't want to argue. He looked sad. I've never seen Malfoy looked this down before."
"And you think I'm the reason he's sad?" I squinted, not sure how I was going to convivence her not to suspect something was off.
"You tell me," Ginny was not letting go.
"I don't know what to tell you, I think he's just having a bad day," I forced out a smile. "You know, we all have bad days."
"If you say so," Ginny squinted as if she was trying to read my mind and dug out the secret I had been hiding.
"Don't worry about it," I faked a smile, and she sighed.
The plan was to go meet Malfoy later that night after most people headed to bed. In the meantime, I sat by the fireplace readying. I was nervous, and I was clueless. Staring at lines after lines on the pages, nothing registered in my head, not even a single word. Both my mind and my heart were racing, no matter how hard I tried to focus or to have a conversation with others, I couldn't. There was no way.
When the time came, I pretended everything was fine, ready to get through the door and meet him down the hall.
But he was right there, right outside the Gryffindor common room, he was the first thing I saw when I got out.
I couldn't believe my eyes, there was something that he would never do.
"Why are you here?" I asked after the initial shock.
"I did not expect that was the first thing you said," Malfoy shook his head. "Aren't you happy that I came all the way up to meet you at the door?"
"I sure am," I began walking next to him. "But knowing you, you'd never come all this way. I was surprised."
"Well, I thought I'd be nice for once," he shrugged. "Not only did I come here, none of the Gryffindors I ran into had caused any trouble."
"So should I say congratulations for not getting into any fight during a ten-minute trip to the Gryffindor tower?" I laughed. "Would you like a medal for that?"
"Considering how annoying Gryffindors are," he said as if he had given this some extra thoughts, "I think it's an accomplishment for me to remain civil when I was surrounded by this."
"I can't believe you are saying this with a straight face," I grabbed his arms, "You sure are a rare breed."
"I know. Pureblood wizards are already rare, and it's even rarer to have someone with the same high standards as I do," he raised one brow and said slyly, "just look at Weasley."
"I'm still waiting for the day when you finally stop praising yourself and bashing Ron at the same time," I shook my head. "Wonder if that will ever come."
"Then you just have to stick around to find it out," he said with a bittersweet smile.
We spent most of the night sitting at the observatory and talking. Neither of us brought up what was about to happen tomorrow and made out plans for the future as if there was one. This was the first time we poured our hearts out to each other without holding back. I learned about his thoughts and his deepest fear. And that made my heart ache just to think about I might not be able to remember my feelings for him tomorrow morning.
Was love enough? Would the abstract idea of love conquer all the problems and challenges the physical reality placed in front of us? I didn't know, and I didn't want to know.
What I did know was, this was not the end. This was a new beginning.