"... Better Off Dead by 8 grave! Next up is 'Only my railgun'!" Screamed the wolfish man to his hellish audience.
"And you mean he's been doing this for the past hour?" Asked Greg to the soldier by his side. Some mercenaries had joined the man with instruments, other went into the fray of killing the hordes bellow them. Some demons seemed to have been 'tamed' by him too, but they all seemed to have some human characteristic with some few exeptions of beasts of flash and muscle fiber and one 'slime'.
"Yup. I mean, even with the anti-charm and anti-mimetic protections on my suit i feel like throwing myself and doing my best to fight with the music, take out all the depresion of being in literal hell in a productive form, you know, things people with low pay normally don't feel like doing." Answered the animated captain.
Greg had not seen the man so happy since the day they got their first hooker around the camp. The succubus tribe was certainly a very malicious one, but they were effective in both spionage and morale management, so their presence in the operation was undeniably usefull. Those deals under the table were definetly worth it, even if less effective now that the novelty had passed.
He was now considering allowing for more bards around, they'd make up the difference in quality with quantity even if the management was a pain.
"Oh, that one looks interesting, Bob! You're next in the box! You know what's the first for your list." As a giant behemot with a skull for a face opened up the cave's entrance with space magic, Aki stopped his song and took his bloodied shirt off, getting several cheers from the demonic entities bellow and some from the mercenaries. He was sweaty and bloodied, but his back looked reliable and ready to face the worst, the titan really was not that far from it, and smile through it while protecting all.
Suddenly there was a strange sound that could be an eletric piano or something, followed by a guitar and drums, then Greg saw the wringling red slime with several skulls floating inside of it jumping towards Aki's previous spot.
"Yo everyone, Bob here, ya all ready for some BLEACH?!?" It screamed, before starting to sing perfectly the ninth opening of said anime in a english dub. Greg could only sigh and smile a little. At least things wouldn't be boring for a while.
*****
"Are sieges supposed to be like this?" Asked Anna while standing on a much less advanced wall with much less rail cannons.
"Yes and no." Samal tried to explaim. He himself had not experienced something like this but knew it shouldn't be... "There's supposed to be lots of insulting each other, probing, resource wastage and assasination attempts, but the proportions are normally not so squewered to one side." He said while scratching his bony head. His daughter had come to the wall against his knowlege and was trying to socialize with the soldiers before, but he'd imediatly teleported her to the palace. It was a decision mostly for her safety, but damn if even him wasn't learning new curse words today. The enemies weren't in the best of shapes after dealing with the wall's defenses.
Each hundred meters of the wall's palisade, there was a featureless statue with several poses, some with flowers, some with swords, none had any hole or semblance of humanity but their shape. They were apparently enchantments of the wall that demoralized anyone trying to attack it.
No one had actually understood what Aki ment with that, but...
"You dare kiss your mother with that scum filled mouth!"
"I WILL SHOVE MY BOOT SO DEEP YOUR ASS YOU WILL BE VOMITING IT FOR THE NEXT WEEK!"
"Why, why did you leave me behind? We could have been so happy if you didn't want all the grandeur...."
"I died because of you."
"HE STARVED FOR NOTHING!"
"All that and you couldn't deal with one dammed worm."
Several variations kept repeating all over the besieged north wall in a magical frequency affecting only those in front of it, each time some soldier seemed to be specially affected and would start ramble, cry, scream, look distant, tremble in fear, straight up suicide while apologising...
It was a group of golems designed for causing feelings of guilt, fear and anger. They practically made their sound message reach someone and had it reverberate phisically, magically and emotionially. Extreme preparations were needed to keep an actual army from falling appart if these were not taken care of, nevermind that this was just the progam for times when the wall wasn't attacked. When it was, in fact, threatened, it would cause confusion, doubt and regret. Needless to say, any and all of these were deadly states of mind to find yourself with during a fight to the death.
Surrendering would, obviously, be something uncounciously implanted, since everyone needs an exit. A cornered rat might just bring the cat hunting it together to the grave if it hit's home.
Besides, these were made by Aki, someone with a ridiculous, by human standards, WIS stat. That directly translates into constant, high level tests of will that will not stop, because guess what? All the golems are connected to the city's mana pool, which allows them to regenerate indefinetly.
Nevermind that these are not the actual combat modules, which are not many actually, they are even outdated already, Aki has basically doubled his stats since doing these.
Over a thousand soldiers from the original ten thousand had already fallen even though only a couple of hours had passed. The actual effect of the defences had crippled way more than that though.
Only specially devout people could last long with doubts over all their life choices while their regrets banged their doors and arrows sometimes showered the skies, nevermind that getting any closer to the walls would completly cut their connection to said god.
That may not be as effective to earthlings, but to people who have spent their whole lives with actual 'superior beings' watching over them, it is a great mental blow.
"Are we sending assassin's though?" Asked the blonde werewolf, not really certain what their actual forced were doing.
"We are. Not very effective though, seems like they've only sent the crazies to be in the advanced team. As you may have noticed by now, those are all high level and combat ready." He sighed.
"It really looks like we are beating their asses." She said, a bit of pity in her voice.
They were attacking their home, sure, but seeing so many grown man and women crying and screaming like babies kind of took the danger out of the situation.
"It's really weird when you're the one saying those kinds of things, you know that?" He pointed out.
"Aki said something similar." She'd usually only curse when she was really mad or speaking in bed, neither of which were specially common, but being around someone that cursed in their normal speech so much kind of made her have moments like these.
"I know you're not really a combatant, but do you want to try and raid the place for some XP? Those guys don't seem like they will be very sane if left alive." The lich decided to ask, the situation was plenty unconfortable for him already, and the silence was not really helping. He'd long since maxed out his level, so massacre wasn't really something that could directly make him more powerfull, but his companions could always get some training in.
"Uh, I suppose. Haven't really tried the new powers Aki got me." She said with a small nod while looking at her hands, black claws suddenly extending from her fingers.
"Wait, what?" The lich had a strange feeling from what he'd just heard.
"Just do some cover fire for me, alright?" Anna asked, when she'd turned to look at his bony face, her's was filled with black cracks, her sclera black and her slit pupils dilated. She didn't stay there though, assuming a jumping possition, she leapt out of the wall, long bat wings sprouted from her waist, helping her glide through the air. Many alredy looked at the demonic figure falling gracefully in their direction, but then she roared and blood started falling from several soldiers' ears, followed closely by their rigid bodies.
This fairly terrifying image would have made Aki scream in joy from seeing his wife exerting such power and ferocity, but to most anyone else, it was just very terrifying.
"I guess Ela's the only one that hasn't become a monster yet them." Muttered the lich while preparing several spells from the wall.
*****
"What do you mean you can't teleport me back at the moment, i just wiped the floor with that titan and the horde!" Asked a concerned Aki. He was not innocent enough to believe the people here would not simply want to keep a valuable fighter in camp, but he was not cinical enough to think he was the very best they'd get or that there couldn't be another reason for the delay.
"Exactly because of that, there's tons of argentum in the air, a storm of it is about to form before it dissipates, and if the summoning is canceled you will not nescessarily go back to the same place you came from." Said Greg. His expressionless face and monotome probably offended many more people than helped pass information, so it was strange why he was the one dealing with the temporary hires, but the man could certainly explain shit if asked right. "Or just appear there with demonic mutations."
"Ok, with my luck i will have both and end up in the other side of the universe. Gods, need to learn void travel already! Thanks anyway, i will talk to the boys." He cursed with a sigh before leaving.
Aki didn't take long to reach the aglomeration of demonic entities. Some were playing poker, the ones that didn't have faces capable of expression, some were just sprawled on the ground or soaking in a lava pool, and the gray dude was just starring at the infernal horizon while making a monologue that would go with any such old time comic detective. "Guys, bad news. We're stuck for the next few hours till the argentum storm passes." He informed the bunch of sinners.
Several cries of denial and outrage, and one monologue of suspicion that didn't have the man move his mouth at all, resounded in the lounge.
"I know, i know, i also don't want to be in hell for much longer. This place is so depressing it makes you want to always hear emo songs. While on the topic, Bob, Silent solitude." He said and the giant slime made a sound similar to a snaping of fingers before singing the third opening of 'Overlord'. "Great. Now, i know not everyone likes fighting in here, so i will distribute the credits i received and let you roam arround." This got him cheers. "Settle down, we all know there's no saint between us, so everyone has to restrain themselves. I'm not just taking you all out of hell for power and you know it. No serving justice, no sex with everything that moves, no kidnapping the guy you fell in love with, no murder unprovoked, no provoking anyone for excuses of murder." He said while passing his gaze through certain individuals, including the spider-like woman hiding in the corner of the ceiling and the nude bimbo with horns. The gray detective was still the one cursing the most, but he understood there was just no reason to punish the beings in hell anymore than their existences already did, so he wasn't likely to attack people for his sense of justice. "That includes you Bob, your musical abilities don't wipe your triple homicide. Also, we all know you're better than all those faggots that tempted you, so be strong." Aki told the slime with a smile.
"I, i will try." The grave voice of the gelatin wasn't as strong as normal, but several other dammed patted him in encouragement. He'd never had this much support, and it actually made him quite happy.
*****
"I really have no fucking clue how you are turning energy into a liquid, but it really is weakening the storm." Comented Greg while completely ignoring the ember and molten rock pelting his skin.
"I mean, it was actually quite the simple theory. I just..." Looking at the sudden stop of the condensation he'd been causing to make 'hell juice', Aki focused for a bit and a shining red liquid started falling into the nuclear level termic holder again. "I'm just suking hell dry. Damn, it's every bit the bitch the system is and more. Just know it's possible, I'm sure an asshole like you will figure it out without any problem. It's very powerful energy, but also very radioactive, has a maddening effect and may cause mutations on anything to make them into a sinner. The body form, not having a sudden compulsion to do the opposite of what's written in the bible or something." He said without averting his gaze from the coffee filter that had red fog passing through it. The intensity of his gaze seemed to heighten at every moment.
"Any chance you can finish your original sentence another time?" Asked the tired looking man fervently making notes.
"Nope." Was his answer, but the scientiest was already running at a speed that caused two sonic booms. "Just a bit over half is all I can get with this speed then. Good to know. I'll be coming back regularly, you hear? Not on the same section, of course." He said with determination burning in his eyes while starring at the black sludge with red eyes and a mouth with yellow, perfectly square teeth forming a smile even uglier than Aki's.
It didn't seem to move in any way, but it was certainly getting closer.
There was a lot of rock and distance between Aki and said person shaped blob that was an avatar of hell, but it was also very easy to see it open it's mouth and scream a bone freezing, spine shaking roar.
Suddenly, Aki was running while putting the cap on the termic bottle. Thing is, he was practically teleportating every step. No attrition, no wind or displacement of dirt while he 'run' on a speed that would normally cause shame to the U.S's air force.
There was another, and then another roar, this time reverberating over the whole area as if someone had made a whale sing inside of a narrow corridor.
Aki didn't mind that there were several versions of the blob almost catching him, he didn't look back, he simply ran and held all the sinners he was bringing back with bone whips growing out of his back.
One moment there were several copies of Aki and the sludge running after each other, but then they simply weren't there.
A distinctively feminine and annoyed groan resounded from all the instances of hell's avatars, their grins now gone, soon followed by the entity controlling them.