A promise we made back then, Yuuma-kun still remembered it. It was embarrassing to say, yet I was the one who broke the promise. It was a childish promise too, perhaps he should forget it and move on, yet the both of us are did not even move on as I wanted.
I lied down on my bed, and reached my hand to the ceiling which obviously I couldn't. Perhaps, I've found the answer that points to why did I always wanting something I couldn't reach, my incompetence, my lack of courage to fight back, all of it, is how we became so distant today. I looked at Yuuma-kun's message. Dummy... I thought to myself. I made myself to look pathetic, yet you still wanted to keep your promise. Things that happened years ago in middle school, is not going to disappear. The humiliation that curses me to be too close with you, is what drove me to change. In every sense, I am the one who is unable to face you.
Days passed, with me repeating my days spacing out, of course studying about subjects from the next semester, and make sure I look pathetic in the mirror. My parents who had a high expectation of me since I was young, stopped to expect more from me since I purposely flunk my middle school exams. Yet, they eventually dismissed the thoughts, and we became close as we were. I felt guilty at first, after I got used to act like this, I felt less guilty, yet every time I saw Yuuma-kun, all the guilt became amplified, I felt exhausted whenever I saw him.
With this, winter break is over, I walked to school as usual, it's the opening ceremony of the school I just have to check my class, which I already expected myself to be placed in 2-C, where Yuuma-kun probably rose to 2-A since his grades improved since the mid-term exams. I watched my surroundings, I didn't see Yuuma-kun following me, usually I'd feel relieved, yet I felt anxious, what's going on with me... I wonder.
Three girls stood in front of me, I shuddered. It's the delinquents who tried to hurt me last semester.
"Today is no hero day eh?" One of them said, while the others laughed.
"Well, Yuuma-kun lived next to you, it pains me to know that huh!" Their leader said.
"Well, take this!" Another one took out a razor blade and attempts to swing it towards me. I closed my eyes, thinking it as a punishment I deserve, yet to think back again, I had already stayed away from Yuuma-kun, yet they weren't satisfied. Rage filled in my mind. They were just taking it out on me. I kicked as high as I could. There is no more reason to stay weak at times like this, as I had no reason to do so.
The girl with the razor blade fell on the road after I kicked her face. I had a little space to think logically.
"How dare you kick me!" The delinquent shouted.
"Girls, grab her, I'll make her look like a cat!" Their leader said.
"A cat looks cute, but she's a human, you know?" Yuuma-kun grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back to his back. The delinquents shuddered, and quickly took their escape. Yuuma-kun sighed and turned to me.
"Are you alright?" He asked. I nodded, he smiled a bit and then continued to walk, he seemed like thinking, yet I couldn't tell what he was thinking.
I clenched my fist, trying to say something, yet I couldn't say them. I looked at Yuuma-kun, walking away, never turning back. Perhaps he decided to move on...? Ambiguous. I slowly walked to school, with each step filled with the memories we had from winter. I couldn't look at myself now, because I was smiling about the memories I asked Yuuma-kun to forget. I reached the traffic lights, I saw it was green, yet Yuuma-kun was waiting there. I tried to walk slow, yet the lights were already red, he seems like waiting for someone. I looked at my watch, it's getting late, I guess I have no choice but to hasten my steps.
"Oh, Rika-chan. I figured that they will be hiding here, that's why I was waiting here." Yuuma-kun said casually.
"Thank you." I said, smiling. Yuuma-kun blushed, and looked at the traffic lights.
"I hate to say this, because it made me sound conceited. I rejected their goodwill, and they tried to take their anger out on you. I was thinking for a while, I thought I really had to tell you this. It's not your fault. Please don't do anything stupid in response for that. Fight back if you must, and share your problems to someone you trust." Yuuma-kun is a little different today, yet his words gave me courage. I looked at the sky, the morning sky, looked hopeful for once.
We walked to the school together, I suddenly wanted to hold his hand, I felt like I had done this before, yet I had no recollection of it happening. I held back those impulsive feelings, all the way to school. I checked my classes, something unexpected happened. I rose to 2-B, while Yuuma-kun is in the same class as mine. A miscalculation as such never happened to me before. Yet there is no way to change it. I felt relieved for a while, perhaps it is just me who felt happy being selfish for once.
The school opening ceremony started, I joined my class, a girl standing next to me began talking to me.
"Hello, it's nice to meet you. My name is Kitagawa Haruno, how about you?" A girl known as Haruno said. She has a long hair, and looks proper. Somehow a polar opposite to me.
"Mizuhara Rika, nice to meet you too." I replied to her.
"Oh, Rika-chan is it? Or I should call you Ricchan?" Haruno got all excited, perhaps she is really happy to make friends. I had been alone in the school, I study alone, walk alone, and also eat alone. To think someone who would make friends with me. I felt a bit happy. Yet, my instincts told me to be wary with her. So I kept myself polite and formal with her.
"Ah yes! You may also call me Harukon!" Haruno said. With Haruko...n, I felt like I've heard this name from somewhere else.
The ceremony began, all the chatter that echoed within the halls slowly quieted down. Typical ceremonial things like school songs, principal's speech and honour student's speech happened. Yuuma-kun were one of them too, he represented the male athletic division, along with the female athletic division, Takigawa Ruri. The girls, with Haruno next to me went crazy when Yuuma-kun walked on the stage, while I hear curses when Ruri walked up there. Apparently, they hated any girls who stood next to him. Perhaps, being able to walk alongside Yuuma-kun is considered a privilege. What bullshit it is...
The ceremony ended without any incidents, I sat on my place which were designated to me on a seat placement plan located at the bulletin board at the back of the class. I'm both far from Haruno and Yuuma-kun. Well, not like I care. A few boys came over and asked me about my contact info, I declined them, since I don't like contacting people at all.
"Aww Kaito, you got rejected huh?" A guy next to him said. His name tag reads Sawada Hikaru.
"Shut up, Hikaru!" The Kaito guy said before going somewhere else.
"Psst! Mizuhara-san is it?" Hikaru said. He probably know my name by looking at the bulletin board.
"Yes, what can I help you with?" I asked. Hikaru looked confused.
"Well, I saw you before, with Yuuma. In Touna's shrine." Hikaru said. I was surprised, so Yuuma-kun really did went there with friends.
"Yes... I did." I said.
"Were you going out?" Hikaru asked, I quickly denied, there is no way that Yuuma-kun and I were going out.
"Well, it didn't make sense, based on how you kept calling his name when he fainted on that day." Hikaru said, now I remembered, he was one of the guys who helped him after he fainted.
"Well, please worry about nothing, I'll make sure no one thinks ill of you." Hikaru said. I felt like this Hikaru guy is somehow dependable. I'll trust him for the moment. Soon, classes started, a new semester has begun, new teachers and new topics, I've covered several topics beforehand, so such questions were not a problem to me.
It's lunch time, I just ate my lunch in class, there isn't any people around, since they were hanging out with friends somewhere else. same goes for Yuuma-kun, Haruno and Hikaru. I received a text, from Yuuma-kun.
"Come to the courtyard after school." He said. What is that all about? Can't he just tell me that on the way back? Wondering what is is up to, I continued eating with much mysteries popping up on my mind.