When I finish my food, Adrian won't even let me clean up after myself.
"We can do that later," he says dismissively. He helps me up and takes me by the hands instead. "Now. What would you like to do tonight?"
What would...I like to do? I can't hide my shock, and he smiles gently at me.
"Yes, what do you want? I can't be a very good lover if I'm not aware of that, can I?"
I feel my heart leap, but I try to keep calm. After all, I reason, in this deal, he's trying to convince me we can't truly be lovers without…"loving".
I think for a moment, and then remember the room I had picked out for myself. I guide him down the hall, and lead him to the room I had picked, as far as possible from the men's side of the house.
"This...is the room you picked?" he asks doubtfully. To me, it's sumptuous, but it's only one room, with only a bed and a dresser. There's not even a vanity or sink. "This is a butler's quarters," he adds, walking around the room and running his hands along the wall.
I shrug. It's enough for me. But it's a bit dusty, and was obviously being used for storage. I start moving piles of linens to the bed to put in a closet later on.
"You know," Adrian says, coming up behind me, "There are better vacant rooms. You don't have to settle for this."
I shake my head, and make a widening motion with my hands. I want my space.
"I don't understand. If you want more room, there are better-"
I shake my head and reposition myself, repeating the motion. I need my space...from all of you.
Realization dawns on him. "Ahhh. You just want to be far from us." He chuckles and pulls me into an embrace. "I'm confident I can make you want to stay in my bedroom soon."
I roll my eyes and pull away. Surprisingly, Adrian doesn't seem to mind helping me at all, even going so far as to find cleaning tools himself.
But by the time we finish, we're covered in pale dust. I look sadly down at my dress and brush uselessly at it. 'Sorry', I mime to him with an apologetic look, but he doesn't seem upset.
"Not to worry, I can clean it easily later. For now, let's retire. I've been waiting for tonight for what feels like far too long."
I smile to myself. For three days, I think, but I let it go.
This time, Adrian doesn't move into the other room to change. Before I realize what he's doing, I numbly watch him slip off his coat and slowly start undoing his blouse. He smiles sensually at me and I immediately spin around, turning bright red. He chuckles lightly behind me. "What a shame," he murmurs, and I march into the other room to change.
….But I should have known, Adrian planned ahead. I can't even begin getting out of the dress. When he laced it up for me earlier, he tied it up high rather than at the waist. I can reach the knot, but I don't have the leverage to untie it. I sigh and return to the bedroom, where he's waiting expectantly, dressed in a very sheer sleepgown. I keep my eyes trained on his face, trying to ignore his grin.
I make a pleading face and put my hands up in supplication.
Adrian's grin widens, and he moves languidly to me. With a gentle touch, he spins me around and slowly starts loosening the laces. I try to pull my arms out myself, but he chuckles.
"Patience, dear. Can't have you ripping it, can we? It is very well-fitted, after all."
Even though I know he's doing it to get a rise out of me, I can't stop myself from reacting to his fingers dancing over my skin. As he gently tugs one shoulder down, he brushes his cheek against my neck.
I jump a little, but I can't protest without my voice. I put my hand on his, trying to get him to move faster, but he just chuckles and moves to the other sleeve. Eventually, I give up and let him slip it slowly off of me.
My face is burning, and I sit on the edge of the bed without turning around, holding myself self-consciously.
"Now, now," Adrian purrs, pulling a silky shift over my shoulders, "It wasn't that bad, was it?"
He sits behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. In a quiet voice, he asks, "Or were you just too uncomfortable to stop me?"
I shake my head fervently. He may have been making it as sensual as he possibly could, but he followed the rules. I turn around and hug him back. He happily wraps his arms around me. "Don't get me wrong, Adelaide, I'm happy you're being affectionate, but...why?" He takes my face between his hands to look at me, but I can't meet his gaze.
"I would ask if you wanted to talk about it, but…" He chuckles wryly. "That's not so easy right now."
I'm not sure that I could. After all, Adrian's the same. He just wants my body. And I'm not sure how much longer my heart can handle it.
I see worry cross his face at my expression, and I try to turn away. "What's wrong? What can I do?"
I'm trying not to think about it, but I can tell his concern is real.
"Adelaide…"
That finally breaks me. I feel hot tears running down my face as I try to hold in the sobs. Adrian pulls me to his chest and strokes my head. "It's alright. You can cry as much as you need. I won't tease you any more tonight, okay?"
I squeeze him tightly as the tears burst out of me. The rational part of me knows not to be taken in, but the rest of me - the rest of me just wants so badly for his affection to be true, to reach all the way, past temporary infatuation.
Eventually, the tears dry up, but he keeps stroking my head, murmuring softly. I finally slip into sleep.
I wake up still nestled into Adrian's chest. I can see the tearstains left on his sleepgown, and I examine them guiltily. I apparently soaked the entire front of his gown.
He shifts slightly, and cracks open his eyes. "Good morning, dear." He gives me a kiss on the forehead, and despite myself, a small ray of hope shines through. Adrian seems like a genuine person, maybe...maybe I can trust him a little more.
He pulls back at my expression, smiling. "Look at me with a face like that, and I'm not sure how well I can stay good."
I immediately bury my face again. Maybe not.
Adrian chuckles and sits up, pulling me up with him. "Let's get you something to eat. And while we're there, something to write with."
Adrian helps me clear the table from last night, and I gather myself a simple breakfast in the kitchen.
When I return, the other three have appeared as well, and to my surprise, they each have their script sitting in front of them. Virgil beams at me. "Did you convince Adrian yet?"
Adrian responds for me. "Oh, don't worry, I'll join. Can't have my lover in a play without me."
I roll my eyes at his response. If only he had actually volunteered that easily. I quietly eat while the four of them discuss the play. Adrian still wants Lucien's part, but Virgil's slowly starting to convince him that the foolish prince will be more fun for him to play.
I find myself feeling oddly lonely as I eat. With everyone talking so amiably around me, but not to me, I feel like I could easily disappear. I quietly take my trash back to the kitchen when I finish, and look for an excuse to stay there. I suppose I'll put on some water for tea, and I might as well make coffee while I'm at it.
While I'm staring at the kettle, lost in thought, someone puts their hand on my shoulder and I jump. It's Adrian, looking concerned. He proffers the pen and paper. "I've never seen you so gloomy before. What has you like this?"
I sigh as I stare at the paper. Where should I begin?
Well, you've probably guessed that Dante was quite...forward the other day.
He just nods in response.
Lucien, too, suddenly showed…"that" kind of interest in me and I wasn't prepared.
Adrian rubs my shoulders comfortingly. "Are you feeling pressured? I don't want you to get hurt…"
Well… I feel my cheeks burning. I didn't want to stop them, exactly…
"But you don't want to get hurt," he finishes. With a sigh, he wraps his arms around my waist. "I know just how you feel. Although," he admits sheepishly. "I don't usually resist the urge."
I giggle at his tone, and he turns me to face him. His expression is almost heartbreakingly sympathetic. "Adelaide, I want to apologize."
I frown at him. What for? He's been nothing but kind to me.
"I've been trying to use our deal as a way to tempt you into my bed, but...in the end, I was just doing to you what so many have done to me." He chuckles wryly. "I should know what it's like to starve for affection with no strings attached. I'll…" He looks a little guilty, and I quirk up my eyebrow. "Well, I can't promise I won't tease, but I'll put less pressure on you."
I feel my face break into a smile of grateful relief. I pull him into a tight hug and kiss him on the cheek. Thank you, Adrian.
He squeezes me tightly back. "Well, what are lovers for? Oh, the water's ready. I'll help you bring it out. I want to get painting as soon as possible." Before I can react, he adds hastily. "Don't worry, we won't do anything risque today."
I start to sigh with relief, until he winks and adds, "But you still need to keep your promise, dear~"
I shove at him playfully, and he just giggles as we carry the drinks back into the main room.
"I assume you're not staying, Adrian?" ask Virgil, though he still has a bit of hope clinging to his voice.
"Nope!" he responds gleefully. "Adelaide and I have made plans today. Private plans."
I shake my head at his phrasing, but I can't stop a small smile from creeping onto my face. When I give Dante his tea, I pat his shoulder and tug at my shift. My thrall dress should still be in his room. "Hmm?" he says, looking me up and down. "Ah, right. Your dress. I left it on the screen."
I nod in thanks and go back to change, while the others finish their drinks. When I return to Dante's room, I can't help but notice that he left the Go board out, still set up with my last failure. Maybe he plans to use it as a teaching moment. Well, it'll be several days before I have to deal with that again.
It feels so nice to wear my plain thrall dress again, especially after the heavy layers of the velvet gown. I remember with guilt how dirty I had made it last night. Maybe I can clean it later today…
I'm broken out of my thoughts by Adrian springing up from the sofa when I walk in.
"I've already set up the canvas," he says excitedly, and pulls me towards the door outside. But I can't help but notice how dark his eyes are. On the way out, I snatch up the paper and pen from the table.
He takes me to a corner of the garden near my weeping willow. I can smell the destination before I see it - he's leading me to the night-blooming jasmine. It's a small copse of the shrubs, with moss covering the ground, to keep the earth moist for the semi-tropical plants. He's already placed a little gardening stool for me to sit on.
But instead of sitting down, I use it as a writing surface and scribble on my paper. I can tell you're hungry. You should drink now so you can concentrate. I wave him over to read it, and he swallows upon seeing what I've written.
"You're not wrong," he says tremulously, drawing his fingers along my neck, "But I need you to be conscious for this, and...I'm not sure I can...stop quickly enough…"
Do you trust me?
"To...stop me?" he asks hesitantly.
I nod and wiggle a glowing finger at him. He looks a little nervous, and I giggle and reach for the paper again.
I can't speak, so this is the best I've got. Besides, I don't think I'll need to use it. I trust you.
When he looks back to me after reading my last sentence, he groans, "Ohhh, don't say that," and leans into my neck.
At first, he seems hesitant, finding the vein and then biting in slowly, but as soon as my blood starts flowing, he tenses and drinks thirstily, clinging to me. I can't reach his hands this way, so I run my hands along him, trying to find a spot of bare skin that I can burn if I need to. He moans in response and I feel my whole body heat up. Still, I promised I'd stop him. I find the bottom edge of his blouse and slip my hand up under his shirt, resting my hand on his back. He moans again, pushing me down further, and I try to keep my calm. I really should have planned further ahead…
He's drinking almost as quickly as Virgil used to. I think I underestimated his hunger. I can feel my consciousness wavering. I close my eyes and concentrate on a single finger. As the enchantment activates, I draw it in a line on his back to keep it from burning him too badly.
But instead of jerking away, he whimpers and squeezes harder, grinding his hips into me. I gasp in response, feeling my temperature shoot up. I can't concentrate on my enchantment any more. All I can think about is the feeling of him pressing into me, the softness of his lips on my neck, and the heat flooding through me. I can't activate the enchantment, but I can still hurt him. I dig my nails into his skin and rake them across his back as hard as I can. He releases me to let out another, sweeter whimper, his face painted in pleasure. I'm shocked, but I can't look away.
He looks back down at me, panting. We stare at each other for a few moments, struggling to stay under control. Finally, his eyes return to their usual bright ruby color and he scrambles off of me, this time his cheeks turning red.
I hold myself self-consciously as we both get our breathing back to normal. WIthout looking over, Adrian murmurs, "Why didn't you burn me the second time?"
I cover my face in my hands, then grab the paper and flip onto my stomach to write.
I couldn't concentrate! Why didn't you tell me my plan would only make things worse??
Flustered, he replies, "I thought it would hurt more! But you made it just barely sting, and I…" He bites his lip. "And then you-" he shivers and grips his shoulders, turning his hot gaze back to me. "It felt so good, Adelaide…."
I can't look at his face. I turn my face back to the paper. I'm sorry, I scribble, and pass it back to him. He glances at the paper and sighs, tossing it aside, but I keep my face turned away. I don't know if I can stop him right now. I know I don't want to stop myself.
Adrian lets out a tremulous sigh and sits up. "Adelaide."
I bury my head in my arms stubbornly. If I look at his face right now, I know that all I would be able to think about is that expression of his from earlier.
"Come on, I'm not going to break my promise," he says gently, and helps me sit up. He hugs me from behind, settling his head on my shoulder. But my heart is still thumping like a drum, and I can't relax.
"How is it," Adrian murmurs softly, "that you're the one who's making it so difficult?"
It's not on purpose! I cry in my head. He senses my irk and chuckles wryly.
"I know you don't mean to. That's not what I meant. It's just…" He sighs again. "Ironic, I suppose."
We sit in silence for a little while, and my heartbeat slowly returns to normal. He pulls on my arm to get me to turn around. Hesitantly, I do, but it's still hard for me to look him in the face. He places his hand on my cheek and turns up my head to look at him properly.
His eyes are serious. "Adelaide," he begins, "If this 'false lovers' deal turns into something real...would you-" He shakes his head. "Actually, no. Do you want out of this deal?"
Slowly, I shake my head, feeling myself blush again.
Adrian's expression turns into something achingly hopeful. "Would you...let it become real? If we both wanted it? Would you accept me completely?"
I force myself to look him in the eyes as I nod again, even though I feel like I'm as red as a tomato. He leans forward and pulls me into another tight embrace. "God, I wish I could kiss you right now."
Even if I could speak, I wouldn't have a response right now. I just nestle into his shoulder, hoping against hope that maybe things will go well.
I must have fallen asleep anyway, because I wake up on the dewy moss.
"Oh, oh, don't move!" calls Adrian's voice. "You fell asleep on my shoulder. I know I said I needed you conscious, but you were just too adorable to wake up." He's peeking out from behind the canvas. "I took the liberty of posing you, though." He giggles. "You're surprisingly docile in healing sleep."
I stick out my tongue, but he's already disappeared behind the canvas again. I can hear the soft scratching of his pencil sketching onto the rough canvas. I sigh and stare at the stars, enjoying the cool night. It's a little chilly, laying on the ground, but the scent of flowers and green plants and moist earth is just so calming that I don't care.
"Adelaide, you're shivering!" cries Adrian suddenly. "Why didn't you tell me you were cold?" he chides, scooping me up off the ground. I shrug. I honestly didn't notice. "Goodness, you're almost as cold as me," he says, rubbing my arms. "Come inside. I can finish that later."