AIZEN
Nakarating ako sa isang gray-colored faculty na nasa dulo which owns by him. Perks of being in a high position to this school, he is the only teacher using such big office like this.
Nang makapasok ako, akala ko labas lang ang malaki but the inside said otherwise. Mas malaki ang loob at nagmistula itong bahay. May sarili itong refrigerator and beside it is an electrive stove and sink placed on the left corner, T.V set naman sa opposite front corner of refrigerator which is across to his office table, two single sofa and a sofa bed between the refrigerator and T.V and a cabinet files in front of his office table placed by the right bottom corner.
May monoblocs na nakaready sa harapan ng office table nito at naupo ako doon without his permission. I know, masyado akong rude.
"Can you explain that scene, Miss Yitsoel?" Suddenly, I became nervous. At hindi ko ipahahalata sa kaniya 'yon!
"Look, sir. This all so nonsense. I have my freedom to cuss. I have my RIGHTS to get mad dahil sa nangyari kanina. Now tell me, is it my fault to act that way?" I replied, emphasizing the word 'rights'.
"Hindi ka ba naturuan ng mga magulang mo ng salitang manners? Where is your respect to me? To yourself and to your seatmate? And so kung hindi sila nakipagpalit ng notebook sa 'yo? You don't have the RIGHTS to cursed them dahil hindi ikaw ang nagpalaki sa kanila para murahin mo-"
"Great! Ako na 'yung naapi, ako pa ang mali. Great...just, great." I felt a tear went down my cheek. Anger nga hindi ko nakontrol, luha ko pa kaya?
So I harshly wiped my tears.
"Bakit ba lahat na lang kayo, ganiyan sa akin? Can't someone see my side? My mother loathes me while my father regrets having me. My older brothers are wishing for my death while my younger sister always makes me the antagonist in the family. Now tell me, sir, don't I have the rights to get mad? To cursed everyone? To cursed them dahil sa ginawa nila?" I was crying the hell out of me! It is so painful na malamang para kang pinagtutulungan ng lahat na mawala sa mundo.
Is there someone there to save me from drowning in tears? At least makes me feel like I am not alone in this cruel world.
"What a pathetic. Sa tingin mo, bakit ayaw ka ng lahat? It is because of your attitude. Bakit hindi mo ayusin ng magustuhan ka?" That's it. Pinunasan ko ang mukha ko nang sobrang diin na para bang mabubura ang mukha ko sa ginagawa ko.
"You don't know what I am feeling right now." I stand up and leave him alone.
I went to the comfort room at the last building and floor of this school.
Hindi ito masyadong nagagamit at ito lang ang comfort room na pwedeng gamitin ng babae at lalaki. Yet, no one knows about this dahil sa rumors pa lang sa second floor kaya wala ng nagtangkang umakyat.
I entered it and stared on my reflection at the mirror.
"What a loser!" I hissed to myself and wiped my tears away. Bakit ko ba sila iniiyakan? A single drop of tear from me? They don't deserve it!
"Bakit ka pa kasi nabuhay? Tell me, bakit ka pa humihinga?" I asked myself on the mirror.
I calm myself but it didn't worked at naalala ko ang sinabi nila bago ako lumabas ng classroom.
"Ang kapal ng mukha ganunin si Annie, e walang-wala naman siya kay Annie."
"Duh! Hindi niya kinaganda ang pagmumura niya."
"Feeling famous ang gaga! Buti nga sa kaniya."
"Bakit ba kasi hindi na lang siya magtransfer? No one wants her here. Oh, even her family too doesn't want her."
Sa inis ko ay nakuyom ko ang mga palad ko. I don't deserve such kind of treatments like these.
I don't deserve such! "Aaah!" I angirily punched the mirror and it shattered into pieces made by the impact. Nagdugo ang kamao ko habang may mga munting bubog na nakatusok dito.
If I wasn't feeling such emotional pains ay malamang, nasaktan na ako sa katangahan ko. But then, I feel so numb. I stared at the blood running down from my hand to my arm and reaches my elbow as it drops on the floor.
I get the piece of the mirror and slit my wrist at the left side. Deeper than I thought. And it was indeed painful.
"I am such a loser... I am a loser." Those words were repeatedly uttered from my mouth as I slowly sit on the bloody floor.
"I don't want to live anymore. Ayaw ko na ng ganito. Living alone is better than being with anyone yet making you feel like you are alone." I stared at both of my arms on my lap, and it was covered with blood.
My sight became blurry. 'I'll die soon', my mind uttered.
I heard a clicking sound from the door and before I knew who it was, everything went dark.