Aizen
Another day at mukhang halos lahat ng kaklase ko ay excited. For what? Habang nakamasid ako sa kanila ay biglang bumukas ang pinto, revealing Sir Eudler together with a beautiful girl. She kinda looks bitch. I mean, mukha siyang maldita but not that really maldita.
"Good morning, class. This is your new classmate. Please introduce yourself," sir said as he walked in front of me and put his hand on my desk.
Napatingin siya sa akin at gano'n din ako. In that simple exchange of stares, my heart skips a bit that made me touched my chest. I can't breathe properly. Hindi dahil sa may sakit ako o ano. Parang sa tinginang nangyari, nakuha niya ang kaluluwa ko. This is so weird!
"Hi! I am Aesth Lazanar. Good to meet y'all!" she happily said. My first impression was gone. She's not a bitch at all.
"Okay, Aesth. You can sit beside Aizen." She went near the left armchair beside me. After the scene, Annie and I exchanged, sir had decided to put Annie at the back of the chairs. Making her more angry to me dahil sa pinuwesto siya ni sir sa row na wala siyang mga kasama. Serves her right!
Nagsimulang magdiscuss ng kung ano-ano si sir nang bigla akong kausapin ni Aesth.
"Hi! My name is Aesth. And you are?" She offered a hand. Tinitigan ko iyon for seconds bago tanggapin.
Okay. This is kinda weirder than having sir as a 'friend', I think.
"Aizen. Aithmeth Aizen," I respond. Marami siyang kinuwento sa akin. Not minding a bit minute interval stares of sir.
Sa sobrang dami ng kinuwento niya ay hindi ko na naintindihan ang ilan.
We kinda exchanged the same experienced to a family.
Broken family ang kaniya and instead of supporting her, she felt like she had no parents at all dahil may sari-sariling pamilya raw ang mga ito.
She mentioned that she grew independent after she gained consciousness in life. In such a young age of 15, nagkaroon na siya ng small time business which is making stationeries and making an artwork of a doodle or calligraphy.
And that moment she were telling me her stories made me adored her. Buti pa siya, kahit na parang naging alone siya because of her parents ay nagagawa nitong ngumiti. Tumawa na para bang walang problema at makipag-usap ng normal. She deserved a round of applaused for making it through.
"Ikaw? Kanina pa ako kuwento nang kuwento at ang dami mo ng alam tungkol sa akin pero ako wala pang kaalam-alam tungkol sa 'yo." Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang mag-pout. How could she be more beautiful even in just pouting a lips?
"My life isn't worth telling. Nothing's colorful like yours," I honestly said. Nakita ko ang pagbabago sa aura niya.
"Is that means..." I nodded my head to hear as an answer to her questioning look.
"Yes. I am a suicidal person. Unlike you, hindi ko kayang ngumiti na para bang wala akong iniisip. Hindi ko kayang tumawa na para bang masaya ako. Hindi ko kayang makipag-usap ng punong-puno ng positivity ang sarili kasi people around me affects my emotions. Lalo na ang mga taong tinuring kong mahalaga sa akin. Funny how I valued the people around me before when they cannot do the same way as I did. I... I always attempt to kill myself. Like slitting my wrist with a blade, eating foods with a chemical that is not for body with it, tieing my neck with a rope and hang myself with a ceiling, attempted jumping from a four-storey building and stuffs but here am I, still hating the presence of life. Pakiramdam ko nga isa akong pusa. Ang dami kong buhay. Hindi ako mamatay-matay so I stop." Hindi ko namalayang tumutulo na ang luha sa mga mata ko and I saw her face show a hint of sadness.
"I envy you," she said that made me shocked. Hindi ba dapat ako ang maiinggit sa kaniya?
"B-Bakit naman?" I asked.
"Because you have the will to show what you truly feels. The more I pretend, the more I feel the pain. But, hindi ko kasi mapigilan ang sarili kong sabihin na okay lang ako kahit na ang totoo, millions of needles ang tumatarak sa puso ko. Hahaha! I never attempted to kill myself, hindi dahil sa takot akong mamatay kung hindi dahil sa takot akong walang umalala sa akin kapag namatay ako. At least, I am being friendly in my life. Valuing the people who deserves to be in trash. Making everyone happy kahit na hindi ako masaya deep inside kasi... I hate to admit it but takot akong maging mapag-isa. I hate the feeling of it," she said and it makes me smile inside.
"Alam mo bang ngayon ko lang narinig na may naiinggit sa akin?" tanong ko na ikinatuwa niya. 'Yung tawa na para bang amused.
"Talaga? I am so pleasure to hear that—" Someone faked a cough beside us.
At nang tignan namin ito ay si Sir Eudler pala.
"S-Sir!" nauutal kong tawag dito. Here he comes again with his emotionless face.
"I am glad that Aizen has a friend now but can I borrow her for a while?" Imbes na magsalita ay tumango si Aesth, as if a cue to sir para hilahin ako. He was actually ot dragging me dahil dama ko ang pag...pag-iingat sa hawak nito na para bang takot siyang masugatan ako. Or it is just me na nag-iisip non? Ugh, stupid thoughts!
Nagulat ako nang bigla niya akong yakapin.
"I was worried. Akala ko, pinagtangkaan mo ulit ang buhay mo kaya hindi kita mahanap but then I became relieved nang makita kita na may kausap. Magkaibigan na ba kayo?" The tenderness in his voice was evident.
H-Hinanap niya ako? Bakit?
"Why did you find me?" I asked as my brows were knotted almost together because of curiosity.
"I'm just going to asked if you want to eat with me but I guess you don't need to—"
"Sure, sir." I saw him smiled genuinely. His smile that is the reason why my heart beats faster each and each day.
His smile... that makes me smile either.
A smile that unconsciously paste on my lips.