So after that whole fiasco where I agreed to go to the dance with Marie and Karen, I realized how big of a mistake it was.
All the girls wanted to talk about what they would wear.
Should we match? Should we wear different colors? How much sparkle is too much sparkle?
The whole time I thought "please kill me"
Meanwhile, at the same time, Vy started hanging out with the group a whole lot more. Richard and her were full blown dating and everything. They would giggle together and hold hands. It was honestly a bit much but whatever, clearly they are happy.
My only issue is the disgusting idea of wearing a skirt. Most of the girls at the school chose to wear the female school uniform but I made an open and unashamed decision to wear the boys uniform instead.
When I first went to school, I got a lot of ridicule over it but then they quit because they realized I didn't care about petty insults.
Oh I'll never get a husband? Sounds like a plan to me. I seriously don't understand people that say "you will be alone forever." as an insult.
Sounds to me like you struggle with being alone because you hate yourself but maybe I'm just reading too much into it.
Regardless, I informed the girls Id be shopping this weekend and of course they wanted to join in so we could plan our outfits.
I don't get it but I mentioned it to my mom and she was more than happy to take us out.
So we got the girl's addresses and pick them up from their houses and proceed to hop around from place to place.
I tried on sparkly dresses. There were many sequins. Sometimes I got lace. I tried many lengths and cuts and styles.
I hated it.
"You just look so uncomfortable." said Marie.
The 2 girls had already picked their dresses. We eventually agreed that matching doesn't matter as long as we like our outfit.
"That's because I am uncomfortable...You guys know I don't really wear dresses."
I assessed myself in the mirror. I was wearing a baby pink full sleeve long maxi dress with light sparkle. It was very fashionable I suppose...but it wasn't me.
I stepped in the room and put on my clothes and step back out.
"Maybe we can try somewhere else?" I asked and the sales clerk came from around the corner.
"Ma'am are you having a difficult time looking for something? Maybe I can help?" she asked. She was wearing ballet flats, a pencil skirt and white blouse.
"More like I'm just picky. I don't normally wear dresses and it is a homecoming dance." I said.
She tapped her chin a bit. "You can always get a suit? We don't sell formal pant suits in the women's department but I'm sure the guys would be happy to tailor something for a paying customer."
I never considered a suit before but I instantly felt hopeful and looked at my mom for approval.
I could see her obvious frustration because it was obvious she wanted me to wear a dress. I know this because every outfit I tried on was suggested by her.
"I'm willing to give it a shot." she said with a sigh.
I beamed at her and ran to the men's department ahead of her. I started eyeing the aisle with hopeful thoughts. I grabbed a classic black suit off the rack and looked at it. I wondered how a man's suit would even look on me with my feminine body.
I assessed the space and didn't find too much color. I found that to be both relieving and sad at the same time.
I always wanted a suit but I never was a fan of navy blue and black. I'd love to see a red suit or something.
"Ah are you interested in a suit?" A salt and pepper haired man with a measuring tape around his neck walked up to me. My mom, Marie and Karen rounded the corner.
"Yeah. I'm not sure it will suit my body type though."
The man scoffed, "Alterations are not that bad if you want to look more feminine. More and more women come here looking for tailored suits now. We know what we are doing. Just tell us what you like and we will do our best to make it."
I considered it for a second "I do like the color blue and grey together and I would prefer it to look more feminine if that is possible."
He took a deep breath and seemed to consider what I was saying.
"I actually do think I have something. It will need to be altered but it's in storage right now because it wasn't a good seller. I'll be right back and see if I can find it."
He turned around and walked through some double doors.
"You really want a suit?" asked Karen.
I beamed. "I've always wanted a suit."
"Well then you will have a pretty girl on each arm. Man you in a suit would make us the center of attention." said Marie with a slight chuckle.
Karen laughed. "That is true. She will walk in like a pimp with a girl on each arm"
My mom chuckled a little bit. "That certainly is an interesting image. But lets see what kind of suit he brings out. I don't want my daughter looking like a guy."
We waited and he came back with a triumphant look on his face whilst carrying a bag.
"It took me a bit but I found it." He unzipped the bag and showed me a grey and baby blue pin stripe suit. It was very boxy but the pattern spoke to me.
"Oh I love the pattern." I said stroking the fabric.
"It is a linen blue and grey pin stripe. It didn't sell because it was small and a little more feminine. I bet with alterations, this would look fantastic on you." he said with a big sales smile.
"Actually...that's quite cute." said my mom.
I smiled at her "So I can try it on?"
She nodded and that was all I needed to go get changed. When I slipped into I instantly felt badass. I felt comfortable. It didn't quite fit right because it was a man's suit but I had hopes.
I stepped out and they all gasped.
"Oh that's hot." said Marie
"Agreed. You look like a total badass." said Karen.
"You look powerful." said my mom.
I turned and looked at myself in the mirror. It looked great. The pin stripes of blue mixed in the grey suit made my legs look longer.
"When is the dance?" Asked the sales guy.
"In 3 weeks." I told him.
I could see the wheels turning. "It will be cutting it close but I think we can get the alterations done in time."
Happy excitement bubbled inside me.
"Let me pin it while you are wearing it." he said and proceeded to move towards me with pins in hand.
During the pinning he would have me lift my arms and watch how the suit moved on me, then he would start pinning it in certain areas so it could be altered to a feminine shape.
"Do you plan to wear men's shoes?" he asked.
"Actually I think grey or blue boots would look really good with it." said Marie.
"Oh that would look good." said Karen.
"Shoe shopping after this?" Asked my mom.