When Pam argued that she is still single, Tim was relieved. He doesn't know why he felt that way but to learn about it in public he felt relaxed. However, she emphasized the 'never will be ready to mingle. 'Is she dating? Or is waiting for someone? Or did she recently break up, so she is not ready yet?'
The marshal then continued to ask the 5 who raised their hand with a follow through question of how long you have been single. The winner was someone who has been single for 6 years. It's a good thing Pam argued otherwise she could have emerged to be the winner. She doesn't know if this is a good thing for everyone to know.
The game continued with few more cases until another one hit Pam. "I have wonderful kids, I have plans of having kids, I love kids." Everyone raised their hand and funny thing is only Pam did not raise her hand. Even Tim raised his hand.
"OMG, OMG look what we have here." The marshal said in an animated fashion. This caught Pam's attention and looked around her, she knew that Tim raised his hand and everyone else did.
'Stupid me!' Pam uttered in her mind. She should have pretended to look forward in having one. Its not that she doesn't love or like kids."
"To our single and not ready to mingle Program Manager here," the marshal moved forward to her and asked, "are you planning to be single all your life?"
Pam just curved her lips up. It was awkward but she tried to make the smile genuine.
"Do you not like kids at least?"
"Well not that I don't like kids, I am just not 'capable' to raise one"
"That is right! Making a baby requires team effort. Such a pity, if I am not married, I would gladly help you raise one."
"No thanks!" Pam quickly retorted.
The bus once again roared into laughter.
"What if its with someone as dashing as the guy eating next you? Is it still a no?"
Pam just raised her shoulders, smiled and said in lighthearted manner, "It not about who, it's about me…"
Unknowingly, the guy sitting beside her was puzzled. He was quick witted enough to pick up what is between the lines. It is just that he is not sure if this is physical incapability or some emotional issue.
Although the doctor did not say it, after the medical procedure she underwent she was advised that it may be difficult for her to have conceive in the future. This was due to the pelvic infection she had during that time. It was one of the darkest days of her life.
After the game, there was still about an hour until they finally reach the resort. Pam returned her earphones and closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep. She needed to calm herself. She regretted sharing these bits of information to this crown and to the person seated next to her.
Tim played uninterested with what he uncovered today. Deep inside some questions are running in his mind however the thought that she left him without words, it hardened his stance. Nothing changes whatever the reason is. His phone ringing swept what he was thinking.
"Hey honey…" Pam has clearly heard his loving tone. Even though she had the earphone on the volume was so low that she could hear Tim. Obviously, he is talking to Lissy. He is seemed to be describing where they are, he ended the call with, "hmmm love you!"
In the next couple of minutes, Pam concentrated on getting into a nap even though the last line she heard kept playing on her mind. She finally drifted.
The scene of her taking the keys from her bag played back. There was some music heard from the outside it wasn't loud, but it was audible from the outside. Thinking that Tim was probably music tripping, she carefully opened the door with spare key she gave her last time.
The living room was empty, but the music was stronger in the kitchen where the small dining area is. She could see men in the room. Tim was no where to be found. She did not realize he had guests; she was just planning to surprise him that she is agreeing on moving with him. Of the men present she could only recognize Mark.
One of the guys teasingly said, "how good is it to be with an inexperience girl?"
"It's like having a new toy. He even named the toy…" She heard another one exclaimed.
"Is this not the usual fuck and go?"
"Tim, Dude you seemed to be addicted to this new flavor. Are you keeping your pants on to taste the others?"
The guys were teasing and laughing, the beers probably added to the fun. Pam finally heard Tim's voice, "let's not talk about my fucking toy." Annoyed as Tim may seem to be, he just went with it in an attempt to end the conversation. This line was like a lightning that stuck Pam's head. Her hands were trembling she almost dropped the keys in her hand. She slowly turned around left the place as if she never entered.
What she never gets to hear are the next lines from Tim, "I am obsessed with this toy and I am keeping her away from guys like you!" Tim took a gulp of the beer in his hand and then continued, "seriously, when the time comes and we are still in this state, I will pop up the question."
Someone threw a rolled tissue to him and began to tease him. "Booooo!'
They knew that Tim is serious with her current girlfriend. First, he never brought her to their hang outs. Knowing Tim, he enters protective mode when he is serious. When they meet its most of the time to show off who they are with. Second, he rarely joins them 'hunting'. Lastly, when they heard him ask Pam to move in and even handed over a spare key, they knew he is drop dead serious.
Tim despite his western upbringing, he never lived with any of his girlfriends. He allowed them to sleep over but never to come and go openly as they please.
Unfortunately, this part of the conversation did not reach Pam at all. All she heard is Tim addressing her as his toy. So, this is men's talk. I should have not eavesdropped to their conversation, but it was a blessing in disguise. All along she was considered a toy…a fucking toy. She was too emotional at that time and did not consider that it was a talk between men. They could be brutal. She could remember how she shamelessly took the elevator crying. Everyone was giving her that weird look.
Tears rolled down Pam's face. Tim was surprised, she was even sobbing lightly.
"Pamela…. Pamela," she felt a light tap on shoulders. It woke her from what almost felt so real. She dreamt about it! Realizing where she is, she sat straight and quickly wiped her face.
"Where you are having bad dreams?" She heard him softly asked. It was a long time ago since he spoke to him that way.
"Sorry, did I disturb you with the drama? I just saw my mom and dad in my dreams." She quickly lied. Her chest tightened, the hurt she felt during that time came rushing through. She took the unopened bottle of water in front pocket of her seat took a sip and pretended nothing happened.
Tim was perplexed with what he witnessed.