Mark cannot seem to fully recall how this line relates to Tim and Pam. When men talk curses fly here in there in almost every line.
"Bro you're back, just in time. Explain! I am about to start fresh with my stinking reputation from this beloved of mine." He thought his savior has arrived.
"What about?" It was not even past 30 minutes when Tim is back. She just dropped Lissy in her pad west of the business district. The traffic jam has died down, so it was a breeze. The place isn't that far away either.
"Tim did you ever called Pam your fucking toy?"
"No! Are you fucking kidding me?"
"See!? That is how we normally speak with each other. But Jenna said Pam heard it straight from your mouth."
"Why would I call her that? She just turned 21 when we dated. That term…. will…. scare…her" Tim slowed down seeming to recall something. "Did you say I said it in front of her? Or did she hear it from someone?" Tim's eyes squinted trying to figure out if Mark told this thing to Pam before.
"Hey! Why is it me? Are you suspecting I told her that? Am I ever a blabber mouth?" Mark felt so wronged.
"Tim I am telling you this not because I wanted the two of you to be back together. When she left during that time she begged me not to tell you her whereabouts or to anyone who knows you." Jenna ensured the intention of this conversation is clear. She doesn't want that Pam would look like sour graping.
"Few years back after she completed her training overseas, I got to spend some time with her before my next work assignment. I am puzzled because Pam is an only child. She is never to cause any trouble to her parents. Back then she only had her sickly mother who stayed under nanny care in their hometown. Her mom fell sick when her father passed away. She said she will forever be guilty of being the cause of her mother's death. She also told me how she cannot be a good mother and may not be able to become one. I don't know why she said those things to me. Do you know that she is only child? That her mom is sick?" Jenna asked Tim.
'Is it because the mother learned she had sex with me? Or learned that Pam decided to live with me?' Tim knows how some families are still very conservative in this country. "No. She never mentioned such things to me."
"Recently when we saw you and Lissy at Luxent, after so many years, something may have triggered her emotion. I don't think it's jealousy or what." She was quick to put things into her friend's perspective, "She finally told me that the reason why she had to break up with you. She said you did not actually love her and that she is perhaps one of the girls that passed by you."
"It's a good decision then that she left me. If she has little faith and trust in me, I don't need someone like that, and I do have Lissy with me now. I love Lissy."
Jenna stopped there, she doesn't want to justify her friend's decision but hearing Tim declare his love for Lissy even if she is friends with Pam, she will not go to extent of breaking them.
"But still the question on whether Tim called Pam his fucking toy or his fuck buddy is unclear." Mark finally able to bring this line back. "Babe you said Pam heard it directly from Tim. How is that possible? He said he never called her that way and he never brought Pam to any of our hang out. In fact, he seldom joined us back then."
They were in deep thought recalling something that happened 7 years ago is not easy. Tim can only recall the happy times which from the time Pam left him, caused him immeasurable pain. He felt abandoned. It did hurt his ego that there was nothing said…she just left. A little girl dumped him.
"Jenna, you said before she resigned and left, Pam told you she made the decision to move in my place?"
"Hmmm" Jenna confirmed.
Although it is in the past, Tim felt a pinch in his heart when Jenna confirmed this. Recalling how heartbroken he was then, he wished he could at least see her if she does not want to live with him. When he received back the spare key in his apartment, the thought that she was scared - he'll just use and dump her did enter his mind. After all this was not a new scenario for Asian women being fooled by foreigners particularly Westerners.
"If she had the spare key...AHA!" Mark exclaimed. "Remember when the gang visited you last time in your apartment? When we had some beers in your place because you don't feel like going out, do you think during that time she had the key and overheard our boys' talk?"
"Your mouths were probably bubbling with all that nonsense, ego filled, sexual and stupid things. Were you telling all your dirty secrets?" Jenna said as she rolled her eyes.
"I could have said she is my fucking toy, but my mind is not fucked up!" Tim realized Pam may have eavesdropped in their conversation then because the time she left him was around the time when that drinking session in his apartment happened. Instead of finally being enlightened with what happened, he felt angry.
"Let's stop talking about this. What is done is done. I don't care anymore what is the reason or the story behind this." Tim said to end this painful in the ear conversation.
"Funny how you two talk about this same way. This is exactly same thing she said. You both have move on. Yeah Pam has moved on pledged loyalty to single blessedness. Cheers to that!" Jenna raised her goblet with wine. The two men looked at each other before clinking with her glass.
Tim's chest is on fire. Hearing all these things first time brings back the hurt. One time in his life he felt like he is going crazy about Pam. He was like a delicacy that he will never ever get to taste once more. He wanted to wake up seeing her bright face beside him. He missed those days when they just lay down the living room of the apartment coding together, doing silly stuff occasionally. It was sweet but now it's bitter memories.
That is why he is taking care of Lissy 200% more. He is afraid of losing her. She had faith and trust in him. It's hard to break some misconception on guys like him. Yes, he had multiple relationships some went on for years, months, weeks or just days but he never had 2 girls at one time. He played but never disrespected women. It breaks his heart second time to know that Pam did not even attempt to clear things out with him. It was very stupid decision she made. She deserves to be single all her life then!