Geoff brought me back to the Pines Advertising office before going to his meeting. We sat at the back seat in his Rolls Royce and it was so comforting to just lay my head on his shoulder while we exchange kisses from time to time. I never thought kissing would be this addictive. The presence of his driver didn't stop us to be more intimate and show our affection to each other.
"I could eat you whole if you would just allow me. You're making me want you more and more." He said.
"Wait until our wedding night." I replied. We separated with a kiss and promised to meet tonight.
Having the contract signed by Geoff in hand, I went directly to Mr. Smith's office. He was smiling from ear to ear when I handed him the signed documents and told me to review the interview notes with the applicants done by my colleagues This will be the start of a so busy life in the office for me.
Time passed by so fast. When I checked the time, it is already past 6pm. I checked my phone immediately, maybe Geoff is already waiting for me. One message received. It was from him.
"Sorry, something came up. I want to lay the whole night beside you, but I don't think I can do that. I'm really sorry honey."
End of message.
I was a bit upset but I felt more understanding towards him, he is a leader of a company and he has to take care not only of his companies but also the employees working for him. I started typing to reply.
"I understand. No worries. Don't forget dinner. I miss you."
I put my phone back in my bag and started wrapping my task up, preparing to go home. This day is very busy that I didn't even have time to talk to Annie. I wanted to share a few things to her and I'm sure she will be thrilled but looking at her vacant seat, I was sure she didn't want to disturb me the whole day, so she didn't approach me.
I got home directly and when I reached my apartment unit, someone was sitting on the floor beside my home door. It is Lance. He has mustache and beard and it seems like he didn't shave for ages. He doesn't look to be the same Lance I used to see performing on a stage in a bar.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
He stood up immediately. It seems like he didn't notice my presence until I spoke up.
"I was waiting for you."
I was hesitant to open my door at first since I don't know whether I would invite him inside. He already slept here once but it is different now, I'm sure Geoff wouldn't like it if he finds out. On the other hand, he doesn't seem well, talking to him in the aisle would be very uncomfortable. It is a dilemma.
"How are you? You look… better." He doesn't seem glad when he said that.
"I am okay, quite busy with work. How are you? Are you okay? What happened to you?" I said curiously. I really wanted to know how he ended up looking like this and how he ended up in front of my apartment.
"Can we talk inside? It's a long story."
Despite feeling hesitant, I invited him in. He used to be my friend anyway, and despite what he did to me, he still wanted to make up to his mistakes by helping me find my diary, though I already know where they are now which reminded me that I haven't gotten them from Geoff yet. I can call Geoff immediately just in case something happens.
"Did you have dinner? I can order something to eat." I offered.
He didn't answer so I got my phone, 5 messages from Geoff and 3 missed calls from Lance. I am still not used to getting calls and messages from someone since I was not used to it. I dialed the restaurant phone number downstairs for delivery.
I put the phone on the side table and faced Lance.
"I didn't know you were calling, sorry. What brought you here?"
"I want to apologize in person. I know it doesn't make sense, maybe I don't even look sane to you and there is no acceptable reason for me to steal your diary, so I am really apologetic. And I also came here to tell you that I cannot find them anymore."
"Don't think about it." I smiled feeling guilty that he was still looking for my diary, but I couldn't tell him that I already know where they are. "I can buy new ones and it's enough for me that you admitted your mistake."
"My life became miserable since I did that stupid thing to you. I lost my band, my gig, my girlfriend, everything. I felt so guilty towards you that I didn't know how to focus on my work anymore. I regret playing with your feelings and after that situation, I realized how much I still like you. I was so hurt when I thought you left me but when I heard your explanation, I knew that I blew all things up. I still like you now Jez." He said almost crying.
I was speechless to what he said. I didn't know what to tell him. I wanted to tell him I already have a boyfriend, but I couldn't find the courage. I am certain with my feeling. I don't have any romantic feelings towards him anymore. I guess it was because of what he did to me, but how can I break his heart again when I know that he is in a very difficult situation now.
There was silence for a long time until I heard the doorbell.
I immediately stood up to check who it is. It's the food delivery. After serving the food, I asked Lance to have dinner. He stood up and joined me in the dining table.
"You should eat. It looks like you lost a lot of weight. You may lose many things but you have to pick yourself up."
I served some food on his plate. We were quiet the whole time we were eating. I pity Lance now. I want to help him feel better, but I don't know how to. I cannot act nicely to him since he might misunderstand my actions.
After dinner, I washed the dishes and he went back to the sofa, still quiet. I guess we were both waiting for someone to speak up.
After doing the dishes, I went back to the living area, still waiting for him to say something.
"I will wait until you can forgive me, Jez. For now, I will try to go back to how I used to be. I will look for a job and take care of myself. Can you promise to wait for me until I can be proud to present myself to you? Please say yes. I don't know how I can pick myself up without your support." He said pleading.
I was torn between being loyal to Geoff and helping Lance. I can sense that he is now deppressed and he needs me. I will be unfair to Geoff if I have to spend some time with Lance, but I cannot also leave Lance alone.
"I'm sorry Lance. I'm not sure I can do that 100%."
"Why? Are you with someone now? Is it before I am jobless? Am I not attractive to you anymore? I will kill myself if you leave me just like that, Jez. I'd rather die than to think that I lost you because of my stupidity!"
"It's not like that. Please don't make it difficult for me. You are my friend."
"I don't like to be just your friend. Just wait for me, okay? I will fix myself and I will prove to you that I regret what I did. I will do anything you want, just don't leave me alone, not now. If I become better, then you can decide to go but not now, Jez, please, I'm begging." He is kneeling in front of me. I feel so confused now.
I nodded as a sign of approval. I think I don't have a choice for now. I don't want Lance to feel like he is alone. I have been alone for a long time and I know how it felt like when you have no one to share your problems and your thoughts with. I will help him until he can stand on his own again. I will explain everything to Geoff, I'm sure he will understand me.
Lance hugged me tightly. "Thank you so much, Jez. You will not regret this."
"You need to help yourself and I think for now you need rest. I am also tired, so I want to be alone." I explained.
"Don't you want me to stay here for tonight? Can't I stay here?"
"It's not that I don't want you here. I just want to take a rest."
He smiled at me and said goodbye. I know Geoff will be mad if he finds out.