"Are you paying attention?" Craige was frowning at me.
I frowned back at him, feeling equally irritated. "No. You're too handsome. I can't focus."
"Zee!" He angrily tapped the pen on my notebook. "Pay attention and stop fooling around."
Another boring week in school has passed and we're back in Teacher Kimmy's condo. I was so excited for this weekend because Teacher Kimmy got her hands on the latest script from my favorite writer and she was able to get it signed personally. That's why, I didn't waste any time studying and trying it out.
I was so happy to be able to go all out in acting without worrying about dying in case my brain goes into overdrive when I get carried away in playing the role. My favorite character in the story was the antagonist who made the protagonist's life, literally, a living hell. There's nothing that exhilarates me more than playing the bad 'witch'. Especially if it's a character from this Korean writer. The antagonists in her stories were usually very powerful and charismatic. Plus, they don't die.
After finishing my session for that day, I met up with Dr. Reynaldi and he finally confirmed that I was slowly getting better in controlling my emotions which makes it less possible for an overdrive to happen whenever I go all out in playing a character. I've also increased my resistance to the stimulants that would usually cause me to have an episode. I guess that it was a sign that I was slowly getting over that incident.
This was such a happy day for me.
That's why I could not understand why I ended up with Craige in the evening, studying, instead of going out to celebrate such wonderful news.
I grumbled in frustration. "Why? Why do I have to do this during such a precious night? Had I known that you'd be like this… "
"Like what?" His frown deepened and I heard a challenge in his voice.
So I slammed my pen on the table and crossed my arms. "You're acting like a freaking tutor! Is this your side-job? It's not! Your side-job is being a model. Stick to it. Why should I be suffering like this when I should be enjoying my time right now?"
He also put down his pen. "How can we not do something about this? Do you know how shocked I was when I saw your score yesterday? This is elementary math!"
Yesterday, the results for our midterms were posted and I got a… fairly graded score in Math. I never thought that Craige would actually check my scores out. So here I am getting reprimanded for my score in a measly exam in school when he should be congratulating me for attaining such a great achievement in an examination that actually involved my life.
"Elementary Math? Like hell it is! Did you go to Harvard for Junior High? Since when did they start teaching Derivatives there?!"
Craige quietly laughed as he rubbed his hands on his face. "Zee, we just had this lesson last week! Besides this is a very basic problem. You can even solve this mentally."
I sarcastically gasped at his words. "What is your brain made of? Basic math involves numbers. This one has freaking alphabets!"
He flexed his neck from left to right. "That's just a way of naming so that you don't get confused when you substitute the values later. And we've had alphabets in math since 5th grade."
I put my hand on my mouth and studied him. 'Did we?'
"Here I'll show you how to find the derivative for this problem: [f(x)= x2]." He wrote down the function which to me looked like an emoticon for a person who got hammered to death by a wrench.
Probably a foreshadowing of his future if he doesn't stop any time soon.
I glared at him as he started scribbling down on my notebook, slowly and thoroughly explaining to me how to solve it step by step. "Now, all you have to do is substitute everything in here with this value. Then you simplify it and you will get the derivative of this function. You got it?"
Surprisingly it looked really easy. I studied the problem again and was surprised that I actually understood this alien-looking language. I just had to memorize the formula and replace the letters with the values given in the problem.
Laughter bubbled up in my chest. "Ohoho! So that's how you do it? Wow! You really must be a genius!"
He smiled proudly and elbowed my arm. "See? It's easy right? Now try solving this one on your own: [Z(t)=√3t−4]"
I frowned at my notebook. Trying to decipher the code written on it. "How?"
His smile faltered as he convinced me to solve this intricate looking code. "It's easy. Just like how I showed you earlier."
I just stared at him. Really stared at him. I looked at the charcoal black hair that complimented his fair skin, appreciated his dark irises with those silver rings, studied his straight nose and perfectly carved reddish lips.
'He still looks like a normal human to me. But what the heck is he talking about?'
"Just substitute the values like what I taught you earlier. It's not that complicated, remember?." Craige tried again.
I inclined my head to one side. "Do you have dementia? We didn't do this earlier."
His lips parted in surprise. "We did this just a minute ago! I thought you got it already?"
I raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you talking about? You only taught me how to solve f(x)= x2. Where the hell did this 'Z' and 't' come from?"
Craige slapped his forehead and took a deep breath. "Those are just names. Names. You still solve it the same way."
I narrowed my eyes at him with a smirk. "There is power in the name. Are you telling me that you will treat your ex girlfriend and current girlfriend the same way? Just because they're both humans even though they have different names? You don't."
"Ha. You have a point." His mouth gaped open. Then he looked down at me with a frown. "They're equally problematic though."
"What do you mean by that?" My defensive sensors perked up. I had the feeling that he was insulting me.
He shook his head and turned the page of my notebook. Then he started writing down the solution of the new problem that he gave me. "I'll show you how to solve this current girl--- I mean problem. Listen carefully."
'ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
And for the next three hours of my precious evening, I found myself staring at Craige's head to see if a set of antennae was popping out because he was just blabbering in an alien language that he was forcing me to understand. If he really was my boyfriend, I would have broken up with him right then and there. Ended the relationship. And never see each other again. Ever.
The next morning, I woke up with a splitting headache and a foul mood.
"What's wrong with you?" Teacher Kimmy asked and looked at me over the golden rim of her coffee mug.
"Your nephew kept me up all night."
The coffee spurted out from her mouth and my shirt nearly became casualty again. Luckily, I moved out of the way just in time.
"Does that run in the blood?"
Teacher Kimmy wiped herself with a tissue then spoke in an awkward manner. "Zee, I know that we barely have any reservations when we talk to each other but I prefer if you don't tell me those things. You're just torturing my poor virgin soul."
I frowned as I returned to the seat opposite hers. "What the heck are you talking about? He made me solve derivatives for three hours straight."
She blinked at me a couple of times. "Derivatives? What's that?"
I dropped the bread that I was about to load in the toaster. "Oh my gosh! You don't know what it is?! Didn't they teach you that in Kindergarten?"
"They teach that in Kindergarten?" She looked genuinely clueless.
I snickered and started the toaster. "I don't know. Ask your precious nephew. He was treating me like a toddler and kept teaching me the alphabets the entire night."
"Oh? Alphabets? Then that means this Derivative… is it something like an Adjective? Were you studying English?" I was taking a bite from her sandwich and froze on the spot upon hearing her question. She was giving me the same innocent look.
I took the sandwich from her hand and fed her a bite before patting her head affectionately. "This is why I love you."
Still looking confused, she smiled back. "You know, I love you too, right?"
I grinned. "Then can I have some milk with coffee?
"No." She took the carton of fresh milk from the fridge and poured me a glass. "You'll be doing that fitting today, right?"
"Ts. Stingy." I grudgingly took the glass of milk. "Joey said we'll meet up after lunch because they had an emergency in the boutique."
Teacher Kimmy nodded. "But I didn't expect you to actually get swayed by Joey."
"You know how weak I am against constant persuasions. And that guy takes persuasion to the next level."
The toaster dinged and the bread that I put earlier popped up, looking immaculate. Teacher Kimmy took the bread and put the tuna spread on top before giving it to me. "I know what you mean. I remember back when we were in High School, he bugged me nonstop to go out with him until I eventually surrendered."
"You dated him in High School?!" Utterly shocked, I refrained from taking a bite at my sandwich.
She nodded while smiling. "And that scarred me for life."
"What do you mean?"
"Joey was the sweetest guy that I've ever known. He's really attentive and caring. And he really made me feel special." I've never seen Teacher Kimmy this way before. She looked like a girl. I'm not saying that she's a boy! What I meant was that she gave off this aura that my friends usually have when they talk about their crushes. I was so used to seeing her look matured and dependable that seeing this side of her made me almost speechless.
Listening to her reminded me of Trixie. "That sounds like good characteristics to me."
Her smile grew bigger. "But he's not into girls."
"What?!" I thought my eyes would pop out from their sockets.
She giggled. "You didn't know?"
"Then why did he…"
"Why did he ask me out? There was a camera back then that he badly wanted but it would take him at least a year to be able to save up for it. Then his father offered to buy it for him and in exchange, he had to introduce his girlfriend to them. And being his best friend, I became the sacrificial lamb." She grinned, but something in her smile told me that there's more to this story than just two friends pulling off a fake relationship to get a camera.
'It's not so different from what Craige and I were doing right now.'
***
Dear Dairy Milk,
For the past week, I've been questioning myself if lying like this was really worth the trouble. But if we were to tell the truth…
Ah. Whatever.
This was all my fault to begin with. So when the time comes for us to come clean, I'd have to bear the full responsibility for this facade.
Besides, from the start, our relationship was never normal. What kind of friendship starts with a contract?
Not a normal one for sure.
But an abnormal friendship is still a friendship, right?
And even if he didn't really like me, he did say that he cared for me.
I'm not asking for anything more.
I guess that's more than enough to hold on to and hope that we can remain really good friends in the long run just like Teacher Kimmy and Joey.
Right, Dairy Milk?