"I like Craige."
I froze.
That was the first thing that she told me after a very long awkward silence. There was no one else around and we've been sitting in silence for the past five minutes that I almost started thinking that she already decided not to say anything. But then she suddenly blew me with that confession.
'It was indeed a confession after all. But not for me.'
"Why are you telling me this?" was all I could ask her but my chest felt really uncomfortable and I did my best not to let the building frown show on my face.
"Because you're my friend." She looked at me with fire in her eyes. I've never seen her this determined before.
"So?" Even I was surprised by how cold I sounded. It wasn't my intention to sound that way. It's just that I was starting to panic because this scene looked all too familiar.
She looked shaken by my question then she clenched her jaw before she spoke. "And I don't want there to be a misunderstanding between us. There's nothing going on between you two, right?"
"I don't know where this conversation is heading and I don't know what kind of misunderstanding you're talking about. But yes, we're not dating or anything like that if that's what you're asking." I bit my lower lip in frustration, internally asking myself why am I even explaining myself to her. The situation was simply absurd.
'It's Valentine's Day and here I am receiving a confession not for me.'
"I had the feeling that you like him too. I guess I was wrong." She did not even try to hide her relief upon hearing that I am not in a romantic relationship with Craige. She even smiled which, for some strange reason, flared up something inside me.
"So what?"
"What do you mean?" She blinked at me in confusion. The smile disappeared from her face and was replaced by a frown.
The corner of my lips lifted sardonically. "Why does it matter if we both like him?"
"You mean, you do like him?!" She sounded really disappointed and her scowl deepened.
"I don't think I am obligated to answer that question." I massaged the back of my neck and inhaled deeply. Then I looked at her lazily. "Just like how you are not obligated to tell me what you feel for him."
She stood up and looked down at me. "It doesn't bother you? Are you fine that I like him?"
I did not back down and drilled my eyes back at her. "Why should it bother me? You're free to feel however you want."
"But we're friends. I don't know about you but I would not like it if you two were to date each other. That would be very uncomfortable." She shook her head as if mentally trying to get rid of that idea from her head.
I looked at my dusty shoes then I tapped the heel of my shoe on the ground absent-mindedly. "Did you confess to him already?"
She looked taken aback by my question. "No."
I snickered in disbelief. "But you're telling me to forget what I feel for him for the sake of our friendship?"
"T-that's not…"
I looked up at her flustered face. "That's not it? Isn't that why you asked to meet me here? To lay your claim on him?"
Her eyes twitched as she bit her bottom lip. "I became friends with him first."
I smiled. "Now that's just very childish. He's not some kind of product that we can get on a first come first serve basis. You haven't even confessed to him yet."
"Well, did you?"
"Nope. I wasn't really thinking of confessing to him." The corner of my lips lifted sarcastically. "Until now."
"You know that I like him! I liked him first!" She was starting to tear up which made me realize how serious she was.
Technically speaking, I liked him first.
I think I liked him the moment our eyes met on the first day of class.
It's just that, I also hated him right after the very next second.
I scratched the side of my eyebrow. "Like I told you, this is not a first come first serve basis."
"But you didn't like liking the same guy that your friend likes. You said so before. Why are you being stubborn now despite knowing that I like him?" She pointed out and I could practically hear the desperation in her voice.
I chuckled. "Oh that. I was foolish then. I stupidly thought that a friendship that can be easily trampled and ruined by some guy was worth saving. But I learned that I was wrong. So don't kid yourself and think that I'd do the same thing again."
"Are you saying that you no longer care if our friendship gets ruined?!" She asked accusingly.
I finally stood up and put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. Then I smiled weakly at her. "I'm saying that if you really like him, then go for it and stop thinking about our friendship. It's not part of the equation unless you make it so."
Then I left Trixie without looking back. Because if I had stayed longer, I would have said things that would really ruin our friendship.
"What was that about?" Katherine asked as soon as I turned the corner.
I flinched in surprise. "How long have you been there?"
We walked towards the gate and she shrugged. "From the beginning."
I thought she was done interrogating me but as soon as we got on the bus. She hit my arm with the back of her hand and turned to me fully. "So what was that about?"
I chuckled and sighed deeply when I saw the street lights turn on one after another as the sky started turning dark. "I think she's telling me to back off."
Katherine raised her eyebrow at me. "And you'll do as she says?"
I chuckled. "Who knows?"