It feels like I have been scammed. I shouldn't have married this crazy doctor.
I turn back and look at the door. Who is he calling? What do I know about him except for his name, gender, and occupation? I let out a chuckle. Right, he's too shameless.
I become still when I see the plate filling up with blood. Within seconds, the blood is overflowing. Trails of blood reach the edge of the table, curling down. It reaches me, soaking my jeans. I swallow my saliva. This is not real.
"You are happy." He rests his elbow on the table, tilting his head to his left. Even in winter, he's wearing the same white shirt and navy trousers. His tie is crooked. He taps his fingers on the table in the same way. "Marrying someone with my face… Are you trying to keep your promise to me?"
I put down the fork on the table. He isn't real. I have nearly forgotten that face and his voice.
"He's not me." The boy shakes his head and laughs. "He will never be me."
I don't want to see this person. I know well that Eli Sanguine isn't him. I wouldn't come to eat dinner with Eli if he was him.
"You are a cruel girl, Nell." He looks at me with a pained expression. "You decided to forget about me. What about our promise? We were supposed to grow up and face life together. We were going to the same university together, but you went alone. You promised that you would love only me. You were going to marry me. Why, Nell? Did you ever love me?"
It's funny that he's asking me these questions. I know that it's the trick of my mind.
You betrayed me because you wanted to live. You should have lived then. If you didn't want me to do those things alone, you should have lived. You should have done everything to live. You shoved me toward hell, but you still died. How unfair is that? Did you think that your selfish apology in a piece of paper could fix everything? I didn't want your apology. Even when it was hurting, I kept looking at the door that you would come. Why didn't you tell me once?
"You believed what you saw." Devil dips his paw in the blood. "You know it very well. Everything you see is not the truth."
What does that suppose to mean?
"A month is too long." The cat blinks his eyes slowly. "I have warned you numerous time, but you don't listen. I remember them in your place."
What is he talking about? What do I not remember?
"Distorted memories lead to distorted truth." The cat presses its paw on my cheek. "Distorted truth leads to distorted life."
"Don't speak lies." I stare into the cat's eyes. It's probably trying to trick me again. "It's only for a month. Do you need to oppose strongly?"
A warm hand grasps my shoulder. I look up at Eli, standing beside me. He smiles at me as if he didn't hear me talking to myself at all. He takes the seat beside me. "Were you bored without me, Nell?"
"No," I mumble. The blood is gone.
"I wish you were." He sounds casual. He slices down the meat on his plate. I can't forget what that cat said. Why does it disappear whenever Eli is around? Maybe I do it subconsciously. I can't eat from the same plate that was overflowing with blood a moment ago.
Why did I create lies around me? My wrist is itching again. What was his name? I remember the meaning of his name, but I forgot what his name was. He died before I woke up. He left me a letter. Where did I put it after I read it? It was somewhere hidden in my room.
"Here." He replaces the plate with the meat dish that I can't even pronounce properly. When I don't move, he furrows his brows with worry. "Nell, did I slice the meat too thin?"
"I don't eat meat." I don't remember that person's name. That's strange. Even his face had been vague in my memories until today.
"What?" Eli widens his eyes. "You don't eat meat?"
"I don't." I crease my forehead. I could hear susurrating sounds behind my back. I turn my head to look back. In the corner of my eyes, I see a girl standing in the corner.
Eli grabs my jaw and pulls my face toward his. "Wife, you really don't eat meat?"
Is eating meat that important to him? He looks quite shaken. "Yes, I don't eat meat. Are you regretting marrying me already? You should have tried to get to know me before forcing me to marry you. If you want to divorce me, we can get it as soon as the holidays are over."
"I will never regret it." He looks at me with moist eyes. "I am upset because I don't know how to make vegetarian dishes. Don't worry. I am a quick learner. I will turn you into a chubby girl soon."
Our faces are close. The annoying fluttery feeling is back in my belly. This fluttery feeling is nothing but a chemical reaction. Being physically attracted to someone doesn't mean that I am falling in love.
I scrutinize his face. He had done a thorough job of painting his face. I use my sleeve to wipe off the makeup on his face. He doesn't resist. He bites his lower lip. I glance at his Adam's apple moving up as he swallows. His skin is so pale. I keep scrubbing his face as it gets redder. His fingers on my jaw tremble when my hand brush against his cheekbone. I do it again and watch his reaction. His pupils dilate when I slowly trace his sharp jawline with my fingertip.
He's affected easily. The colour of their eyes isn't the same either. Eli's features are distinct. I knit my brows and stare at his lips. I press my finger on his lips. His lips are too soft. Even the shape of their lips is also different.
I don't remember that boy's name, but I remember how it felt when he kissed me.
"I can cook for myself." Before I could take back my hand, he lets go of my jaw and grips my wrist. I widen my eyes when he puts my index finger inside his warm mouth. When I feel his tongue, I straighten my back instinctively. "Don't do that!"
"Mmm." He moans as his hot tongue slowly move around my finger. I try to pull my finger out of his mouth. My throat becomes dry when his teeth lightly bite my finger. What's his obsession with biting? I slap his hand on my wrist. He closes his eyes and moans harder. "Mhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."
FUCK!
People have been watching us already. I see some of them take their phones out, laughing and pointing at us. I could hear them clearly.
"Oh my god! They know no shame."
"Wow! They are quite bold."
"Look, how bold those two girls are! You don't have half of their courage."
"They should get a room."
"The pretty one is moaning like she is having an orgasm."
Eli's moans make my ears burn. One of the staffs is rushing toward us. I grab Eli's ear and pull him closer. "Stop it right now."
"Mhmm?" He opens his eyes. "Mmmm Mmmm Mmm Mmmmmm."
What the hell is he saying? "Doctor Sanguine, if you don't let go of my finger now, I will kick you out of my house."
"Mmm Mmmmmmm Mmmm." His tongue moves around my finger rapidly. "Mmmmmmmmmmm."
What the hell!
"Ladies." The staff looks at us with a flustered expression. "Do you want to get a private room?"
"Mhm." Eli nods with my finger inside his mouth. "Mmmmmm."
The staff blushes hard, looking away.
"Do you have a butcher knife?" I ask the staff and smile at him. Eli's tongue stops playing with my finger.
"We have one in the kitchen," The staff replies to me with a polite tone. "Do you need it, Madame?"
The staff is wise. I nod at him. Just then, Eli opens his mouth and loosens his grip. I pull out my wet finger. My poor finger is covered with pink teeth marks. I glare at him.
"Making me do this at a public place…" Eli covers his face and turns his head away from me like a shy bride. "My beloved is so naughty."
All gazes are fixed on me, judging me silently. I have learned my lesson. I will never dare to play him again.