It's true that I have nothing to lose except for myself. But he's asking me with desperation in his eyes.
It's only for a month. If I don't give it to him, I might never get what I want. I know how to endure. But getting the right to end my life in exchange for a month of my life doesn't sound bad.
"Okay." I stare at the man who has the face of the boy I used to love once. Life must be joking with me. "If you go back on your words…"
"I won't go back on my words." Eli shakes his head. "I always keep my words."
This sounds like a mistake. If I say no, he will send me to that place. He thinks that he can change my mind in a month. But it's impossible.
Is this a test of my resolve? If I cross this obstacle, I might get what I want. Should I wager?
The regret of not being able to save the person you love? Whether it's infatuation or love, it can still end in regrets that might haunt him for the rest of his life. He looks serious though. I don't have anyone to leave behind. Then, why do I feel bad for him? The dead can't care about living. The dead can't regret. The dead can't feel pain.
But I don't want him to feel regrets for not saving someone like me.
Besides, I don't want to go to a mental asylum even if they can't keep me there for long. "After we get married, we won't do that."
"Won't do what?" He tilts his head, puzzled by my question. This guy is pretending to not understand.
"You are not that innocent." I flick his forehead. "Who was eating my ear a while ago?"
"Oh…" He gives me a knowing smile. "You don't want me to eat your ear. Then, other parts are okay."
"None of it is okay!" Damn him! Why does he always talk about eating? "Forget it. I changed my mind. I don't care what you do."
"W-Wait." He blocks my path. "We won't do 'that'. I swear that I won't do it with you unless you say yes."
He's pretty confident that I will say yes. "I will never say yes."
"Only the future can tell." Eli pushes me into the building, laughing.
He's excited like a child. Does this person even understand what marriage is? Then, there's no need for him to understand. It's only for a month. I am not losing anything. I will wager and win. I won't get tricked. I won't change my mind.
We get to the office. The official scrutinizes us curiously and asks, "Which one of you is getting married?"
"Both of us," Eli replies with a bubbly voice. Only one of us is excited about this shit.
"But where are the grooms?" The official looks toward the door with expectations. I don't blame him. Eli looks like a woman right now.
Eli bats her eyes coquettishly at me, "Darling, do you want to be groom?"
Who wants to be his bride? I click my tongue. I can't tell if he is joking or not. It's best not to answer him.
When the official hears that question, he widens his eyes. I can guess what's going inside his head. He nods his head and smiles, "When are you going to have a wedding ceremony?"
"Never," I mutter.
"Next week," I hear Eli say.
Give him an inch and he takes a mile. I glower at him. "You are greedy, aren't you?"
"Both of you look like a married couple already." The official laughs, "Have you brought the documents?"
He wouldn't have my documents. I smirk at him. Holidays are starting tomorrow. The civil office would be closed. Maybe the universe is helping me out for the first time.
Eli winks at me and opens his purse. He takes out the documents and hands it to the official. "Please hurry the process. I want to take her out for dinner."
This guy is always a step ahead of me. How long has he been planning this? Was he planning this all for the last two years? He can't be prepared in a day.
"What is this?" The official looks at Eli's document. "Did you bring your brother's documentation? This won't do."
"I apologize for the confusion." Eli takes off his wig. "I am Eli Sanguine."
The poor official's expression crack. However, the man keeps his thoughts to himself. "Just wait for a while."
After fifteen minutes, Eli's eyes become moist when he looks at the marriage certificate. "Nell, do you know what my dream is?"
"I don't want to know." I avoid looking in his direction. I am afraid that he would say that his dream was getting married to me. The marriage certificate is just a piece of paper for me. It seems that I am going to die as an official married woman.
"My dream is to see you happy."
Some people don't have the abilities to become happy. "You got what you wanted. Let's go."
"No, No… Not yet." He takes his phone and hands it to the official who is getting ready to leave the office. "Sir, can you take a picture of us?"
"Sure." The official replies with smiling eyes, "Stand closer and smile."
Eli puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. His face is so close. I don't think that he knows the meaning of personal space. He holds the marriage certificate in front of us. The corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles at the camera.
Something warm and intangible blooms in my chest. I stomp it down before it can infect me. I feel nothing. Nothing at all.
The official clicks the picture and hands over the phone to him. "From this moment on, you are husband and wife. You are starting a new journey together. I wish you a happy marriage. Don't come back for divorce."
I shrug. After a month, I won't be alive. He would make a handsome widower. It's his choice though.
"We definitely won't," Eli replies to him.
Eli is always smiling or laughing. I realize that I have never seen him angry. Never mind! It's none of my business. As we walk out of the building, I see him typing something on his phone.
"Don't text while you are walking," I warn him quietly.
"Done." He shows me the phone's screen and beams at me. "I posted it everywhere. Now, everyone knows that we are married."
I grab my hair and close my eyes. I don't have to kill myself. He will kill me by raising my blood pressure alone.
One month is too long. Going to the mental asylum would have been better than this.