"Letya!" Saigai shouted as he woke up with a start.
"Letya? Who the hell is that?" The voice of Juniper sounded from across the room while he was carefully cleaning his sword.
It was still the middle of the day and yet the room was shrouded in darkness as Saigai had refused to let the light in through the windows and kept the curtains pulled tight. He hated to see the light of day and preferred to have as little time in the light as possible. There was something about the darkness that caused his heart to ache less. He felt there was no reason to enjoy such a bright light that only brought back things he would much prefer to forget.
"Don't speak that name to me ever again!" Saigai snarled as his body shrouded in a dark fog for a moment before fading back to normal. He could not bear to hear a name he had long tried to forget.
"I got it! She who's name should not be mentioned will not be spoken again." Juniper smirked with a slight laugh as he put his sword away. It was obvious there was more to the name Letya than Saigai wanted to say out loud, but he was not willing to sign his own death warrant to question it. His goal was Duan Cai so he paid no mind to the struggles of Saigai who was simply someone who could help him with that situation.
"Shut your damned mouth already.. Why are you even still here?" Saigai glared at the man in the white kimono with suspicion. If there was one thing he had learnt in his lifetime it was to never trust someone as they always had a motive for being near him. There was never in his life an exception to someone getting close to him.
That's right... there is never an exception to that rule.. Saigai thought as he growled under his breath as old memories continued to toy with his conscious. A sudden desire to destroy everything around him started to arise the more he thought about everything from back in his past.
Juniper was startled for a moment by the sudden incline in the aggressive behavior of Saigai. He did not know a thing about Saigai but he had been with him for the past six months and knew enough to be aware that if Saigai was to throw a sudden tantrum that it would be best for him to be as far away as possible. To avoid getting caught up in Saigai's momentary tantrums he would always find an excuse to remove himself from being near him. It was like a survival instinct for him because he was not ready to let himself get killed by some maniac worse than himself.
"I'm going to head out and do some things on my own so I'll check back with you later." Juniper spoke up as he quickly fled the room as if the building was on fire.
Saigai was already use to the way Juniper reacted to him when his rage meter rose so he allowed the man to flee without a response from him. It was obvious to him that Juniper was worried he'd loose control of himself again. He was well aware of himself and knew that it was possible as well. Losing control of himself was something that he knew well about himself and would not bother to deny he was capable of doing such a thing. When he was younger he was never his heavily destructive to be around, but somewhere along the way he had lost himself. If it was Duan Cai he felt the man would never make such a mistake to lose control of himself causing him to scoff at his own hatred towards his own envy.
"Can you see me now, Letya?" He mumbled to himself as he sat down on the bed. His eyes were lifeless as he gazed up at the ceiling. He could still recall the way her voice sounded, her loving smile, and the way she followed him around without a care in the world towards the way others spoke of him. In his eyes she had truly been an innocent and precious thing but, like all things that Saigai could manage to grasp onto in his life, her time with him had felt so short. For any god out there on their home world to grow attached to a mortal was a taboo because a mortal's lifespan was incredibly short.
If a god was to open up to a mortal emotionally and accept them it would only end badly for the god at the end. Once a mortal they had felt attached to passed on from their short span of life the god would have to bear that heavy burden for the rest of their own existence which for them was thousands of years. They weren't like mortals and had to carry the burden of their own actions for a much longer time. For Saigai it had been almost two thousand years and every second he thought back on the mortal he allowed himself to get close to he felt like he was in his own self caused hell. However, the hell he felt, he wanted desperately to drag Duan Cai down into it.
His whole body shook violently as he struggled to stop himself from thinking about the past. There were so many emotions welling up inside of him that he felt like he could explode at any moment. His body felt like it was in a furnace as his blood boiled and he grunted out in pain from a throbbing inside his head.
"End him.. I will end him! I must end him!" Saigai repeated his goal to himself with a deafening beastly rumble in his throat out loud repeatedly as he tried to focus on what he wanted to do. A deep hatred consuming him from the inside out as his deepest desires to destroy everything tried to surface. It took everything he had to hold his aura in check as the entire room was starting to feel like the inside of an oven. If a normal mortal had been in the room they would have been baked alive as if they were nothing more than a pizza placed into that oven.