It took several seconds before his words registered. Was it because he was drunk that he lowered his pride quickly? Or was this how he usually acted? Either way, my anger thawed. My shoulders relaxed, and my eyes no longer hurt from too much glaring.
"Why?" I asked, squeezing his hand, willing him to meet my gaze.
But he didn't. Hair covered his eyes. "You were telling me to leave, and I didn't want to…yet."
"But you were already dressed." My tone rose.
Kawashita looked up, exasperated. His jaw clenched. "I was going to buy some food."
"But I'm no longer hungry," I scoffed but then my stomach growled. I bit the inside of my cheeks as my toes curled. My stomach was a traitor.
"Ha. You were saying?" Blowing out a breath, he shook his head and pulled me in the space between his legs, craning his neck to look at me. "You're unbelievable."
I scowled. "Are—"
"I'm sorry." Kawashita put my hand on his cheek and leaned into it then he closed his eyes. "My words were harsh."
I stiffened then swallowed. I didn't want to talk about it but here it was. "It may be so, but it's nothing but the truth."
"But…" He opened his eyes and sighed. "It was still wrong."
"What's wrong with it?" I pulled away my hand and gave his shoulder a push before sitting down on his lap. "Is it wrong that you always want to fuck me?"
Kawashita groaned, burying his head on my chest, wrapping his arms around me. He mumbled words I couldn't understand. I didn't ask him what it was because I was scared. Spending the whole day with him, doing intimate things with him made me forget for a fleeting moment. The truth was a slap and a wakeup call. We just fuck.
For now, nothing but the truth mattered. As long as I got everything in control, there wouldn't be a problem. I was still safe.
I leaned into his embrace. "You said this was easy."
"I thought it was too." He leaned back on the sofa as he cradled me closer to him. "This was nothing like…"
"Like the one you got mad at me for asking?" I pinched his nose. "I think I ought to know about this girl since you keep comparing us."
"I did not get mad." He mockingly widened his eyes. "And there's nothing to tell except we saw each other for sex. That's it."
"Like us."
"No, no, no." He wagged his fingers. "We never ate a meal together. Our times together were only inside a hotel room."
"For how long?" I couldn't help myself. I was like a dog sniffing out his dirty laundry. After all, he was giving me information that he refused to share before.
"Three, no, four months." Kawashita yawned, his mouth opening wide that I could see his tonsils before he leaned into me again.
"You slept with her twice a week?" I fished out, internally cringing at myself for being this curious. It wasn't my business but I really wanted to know.
He snorted. "More like four times."
My eyes widened. "Four times a week?"
"Four times in total." He flicked my nose. "Don't be so silly, Reiko-senpai."
"But that's… that's."
"More than already of what we did. It's not even comparable." Kawashita closed his eyes again. "I'm so sleepy."
Contented with his answers, I tried to stand but his hold was firm. "You should drink your coffee."
"Don't go yet. I'm sorry this is not easy as I promised, but it will be." He breathed in. "We just follow the rules."
Instead of answering him, I wrapped my right arm around his shoulders and rested my forehead to his head. I closed my eyes. He was right. We had rules for every reason we were trying to avoid.
Rules, rules, rules, boundaries.
I woke up with a stiff and numb right leg and arm. When I opened my eyes, a startling clear black eyes gazed back at me. Kawashita's lips curled.
"Were you drunk too?" He nuzzled his nose on my hair.
"How long have I been asleep?" I scrambled off of him but my leg failed me. No wonder I felt stiff. We fell asleep sitting up.
Kawashita led me to his side then stretched out his legs and arms. "I'm not sure."
"How long have you been awake?" I asked, rubbing my arm.
"Not long." He smiled. "At least I don't need the coffee anymore."
"Is it morning already?" I glanced around for the clock, panicking a little. Didn't we just talk about rules?