Kawashita and I stumbled into my room like the first time. After strolling around Shinjuku, looking from shops to shops, we ate early dinner and hopped on the train. As soon as the door closed, our mouths gravitated towards each other, our hands wandering and exploring each other's bodies. Only this time, we weren't in such a rush.
"Let me take a bath first." My breath was shallow as our lips parted. "Don't dissuade me. Don't offer false words."
He stilled before he let go. "I will wait for you."
I entered the bathroom and waited until my legs became steady again and my heartbeat slowed. Letting the warm water washed over me—my jumbled uncertain feelings, I enjoyed the shower for far too long.
A small surge of panic rose to my chest when I did not find Kawashita in the room when I stepped out of the bathroom. I couldn't believe he had bailed on me again.
"Did he leave again without saying anything?" I muttered under my breath, snorted, and threw the damp towel on the floor which made me look down. It made a different splat sound than I expected. I picked up the towel and found Kawashita's midnight blue tote bag.
The tension on my shoulders eased. I sauntered back to the hallway and checked Kawashita's shoes. It was still there. I returned and spotted his gray jacket draped over the sofa.
Sighing, I sang in my head that he's still here. I plopped on the sofa, tired and relieved at the same time when I heard the scratchy sound that my glass sliding door to the balcony made. Kawashita walked in along with the faint nostalgic scent of cigarette smoke.
"I didn't know you smoke."
Kawashita jumped as he turned to me. "I didn't see you there, Reiko-senpai." Then he cleared his throat. "I hope you don't mind, but don't worry, I'll take a quick shower."
I watched him rummaged his bag, frozen as my mind tried to backtrack the times we met. There was no moment that I noticed a lingering scent on him. There wasn't even an aftertaste on his mouth when we kissed.
My eyes followed him as he ambled towards the hallway and disappeared into the bathroom at the right side. I kept staring until I felt myself shiver. Snapping out of it, I got to my feet and headed to my closet at the end of my bed. I pulled on a pajama pants and put on a sweater I got from the drawer. After going back to the sofa, I dried my hair and started shuffling through the channels, pretending myself calm.
"Is it okay if I leave a toothbrush here?"
My head turned towards the voice. There was Kawashita whom I didn't hear get out of the bath. He was down to the last of his clothes, a navy blue cotton shirt, and striped boxers.
"Sure," I said, placing the remote on the table and leaving the TV in the news.
I tried hard focusing on the words from the news anchor but Kawashita's presence was strong that I could feel him as he went behind the sofa. Flashes of our kiss earlier and our desperation made me squirm in my seat. My inner thighs became hot.
My breath hitched as Kawashita drew closer until his lips were on my right ear. His fingers brushed against my nape, making me shudder. His hands were still cold as ever.
"You were mad at me for leaving that night." It was a statement rather than a question. "It's why you stopped contacting me."
"Maybe." I breathed out, unable to think as I felt Kawashita pressed his lips harder as it slid down to my neck.
"Tell me next time, okay?"
I didn't answer.
"Okay, Reiko-senpai?" he repeated.
I swallowed and nodded, suddenly hating how my name sounded from him. It stirred something in me, and I didn't want to know what exactly.
"Should I wake you up before I go from now on, Reiko-senpai?" Kawashita asked without moving an inch.
Unable to concentrate due to his proximity and the feelings he stirred just by saying my name, I closed my eyes and tried to still my rampaging heart.
"Maybe you should revert back with my last name when we're alone." I breathed out shakily.
I felt him smile. "Don't ignore my question, Reiko-senpai."
"Kawashita-kun," I hissed.
"Reiko-senpai." There was a laugh in his voice.
"Come on." I groaned.
He outright laughed and leaped over the sofa. "I told you Reiko has a nice ring to it. Maybe you should call me Akira. What do you say, Reiko-senpai?"
I scowled at him and crossed my arms over my chest. "Shut up, Kawashita-kun, shut up."
His grin grew even larger, scooting closer to me until we were face to face. "You're so adorably cute."
"And you're so cocky." I grabbed his chin and pushed away his face. "Yes, you should wake me up before you leave. You said we would take a bath together. Imagine when I woke up and you were gone."
"I'm sorry," he replied, taking my hand. "You seemed tired and you were sound asleep. Did you want to bathe together that much?"
"It's not that." I took back my hand and glanced away, my cheeks tinting pink.
"I have something else in mind but if you insist so, we could always take another bath and something more."
"What something else?" I swiveled back at him.