The events of yesterday crept up on us as swiftly as the winter dropped the dark shade of night and we realized we weren't prepared to adopt a child. Mother and I left the house with Dodger to shop for clothes. We stopped at multiple shelters ran by the church, where donations for the poor were collected. They usually had piles of clothes to sift through. Rather quickly, I found him a turquoise shirt with cotton breeches and socks and went to dress him in an isolated room as the winter cold was not suitable for a naked baby. We picked out a few necessary clothing items for him without taking more than we needed and headed back home. Daniel was waiting for us, reading the paper in his chair.
We dropped the clothes on the couch and sorted through them placing the shirts in one pile, jackets in another, so on so forth. Daniel paper crinkled as his curious eye focused on Dodger. Daniel straightened it out, read maybe one line, then crinkled the paper out of his way with his nose scrunched.
"What's wrong with him?" Daniel asked, piquing my curiosity. I watched Dodger's movements. He sat with his little chin in the air, taking in his new home. He awkwardly grabbed at the ground while his eyes were focused elsewhere.
What was he grabbing at? The space in front of him was clear.
Dodger's body appeared strong enough to hold his own weight. Earlier in the day, Mother and I had encouraged him to walk. He could stand strong but wouldn't take a step. Instead, he liked to lean on the ground and crawl.
Thinking back, Dodger didn't go anywhere even though he could. He wasn't curious and he didn't wander like most kids. He had a tendency to guide himself with his hands wherever he went as if he was feeling his way around.
I wondered.
I approached Dodger, bending down to his level and looking at his eyes. Where black pupils and colorful irises were supposed to be, there was nothing but two opaque films covering them. I'd been so in love at the thought of having my own child and been so busy trying to prepare for him that I'd completely missed the problem with his eyes.
"He's blind." I directed my statement to my husband, but received no immediate reply.
"We adopted him from a leper, Mae," he answered after a moment. "What did you expect?"
What in the world was I supposed to do with a blind child? How would I teach him to read and to write? It was something that needed to be addressed.
"I'm taking him to the doctor tomorrow." Most of my day had been spent on finding him clothes that I hadn't thought to take him to the doctor until now.
My stomach was a mess of knots. We had to see our family doctor tomorrow not only to figure out the source of Dodger's blindness, but hopefully to figure out his nationality was as well. Without the help of distinguished eyes, it was harder for me to tell. There were many different beings on Chara and I was anxious to know what he was.
~~
Doctor Ingram, our family doctor, lived a block down the street in a two-story town house that served as both his office and his home. Seated at the small counter was a young woman who smiled the moment we entered. "Hello, Mrs. Ember. Allow me to get my father for you," the young lady said. I replied with a thank you and took a seat. Dodger, quiet as a church mouse, curled his arms around his stomach and placed his head on my shoulder. The small moment put a smile on my face. I'm finally a mother.
Eventually, Doctor Ingram greeted us and led us into the examination room. I sat Dodger down on the white bed and waited as the doctor examined him.
"He's not blind," Doctor Ingram stated after several tense minutes. "Well, not completely anyway."
"I don't understand." I shook my head with confusion. The doctor, sitting across from me, turned from Dodger to face me.
"Dodger has cataracts. He can still see, but barely. Imagine that you're looking through a frosted glass. He likely can make out shapes and shadows, but actual details are impossible." Dodger's head tilted ever so slightly in Doctor Ingram's direction and his expression was solemn. It's painfully obvious that he was struggling to understand his surroundings.
"How bad is it?" I braced myself for bad news.
"It's hard to tell right now. His cataracts are probably congenital. Fortunately, he's young. Giving him potions before we perform surgery will eventually get rid of the cataracts and his vision will be restored."
"Will the surgery hurt?" I leapt from my seat as Dodger rolled in the bed. I picked him up and settled back into my chair. Dodger nestled in my bosom.
"With the right potions and my practice in alchemy, he won't feel a thing."
My thoughts went straight to the expenses. A pretty penny would be needed, a pretty penny that'd require many years of hard work to own.
"What are the consequences if we decided to skip surgery?" I crossed my fingers and prayed to the goddess of mercy that she'd listen to my cause, finding a way to help us.
"Very rarely do cataracts heal themselves, but it's not worth waiting. Follow me." He stood up and led us to the drawing room. He rummaged through several potion bottles in a three-shelf cabinet before coming out with a pear-shaped bottle. Inside was a pale blue potion.
"Put one drop of this in each eye every day. If his eyes haven't healed in a week, then we'll do surgery. This potion will also prepare him for any complications that may happen. It'll increase the chance for a full recovery." Doctor Ingram handed me the glass vile. It was cold to the touch as the blue liquid swished back and forth. I fumbled to place the vile in my small sack and pulled out a gold coin. The doctor waved his hand in protest.
"It's not worth that much! One silver coin will suffice." Pre-surgery potions were never worth less than a gold coin.
"I highly doubt it's worth that little!"
"You're a faithful patient. Your family has been supporting my clinic longer than you've been alive," he insisted. I grasped the gold coin tightly and gave the doctor a look of great appreciation.
"Thank you." I returned the gold coin and fished out a silver one. Before I left, I made sure to set an appointment for the following week. I began to step out when I made another realization.
"Dr. Ingram!"
"What is it?"
"What is he?"
"Dodger?" He said as his finger pointed at him. I nodded but the answer I was looking for is more complicated than I had hoped.
"I don't know. If his cataracts weren't in the way I could make better assumptions. He could be anything." This wasn't the answer I was hoping for.
"I see. I hope you have a good day."
"Same to you, Miss Ember."
~~
I obeyed the doctor's orders: one drop in each eye daily. I reserved a couple minutes each morning to fight with Dodger. With my dominate arm wrapped around his forehead, he wiggled violently. His arms flailed everywhere, hitting me in the face and knocking the vile from my hand repeatedly. He was determined to escape.
Naturally, this attempt wasn't working.
"He's disobeying, he needs to be disciplined." Daniel said.
"He doesn't need discipline. He's not doing anything wrong. I just need to show him that taking eyedrops won't hurt."
"Good luck showing that to a blind child." My heart wanted to take that personally. Instead I took it as advice. Showing to a blind child is absolutely impossible.
"Dodger, it's ok. These won't hurt." I took his hand in mine and squeezed a few drops on his skin. "They're warm, and they'll help you see better."
Dodger took a moment to feel the droplets against his hand.
"I'm going to put one on your nose. Boop!"
Dodger pulled back in alarm then smiled as the water trickled down his nose. Another droplet on his cheek and Dodger giggled with me. A droplet plopped onto his cheekbone, closer to his eye. He tensed again, then relaxed.
"I'm going to lean you back." I waited for a response, I received nothing in return. Lowering my arm I felt the muscles in his neck tense. I hummed a lullaby too soothe him.
"I'm going to put a little water, right here," my finger tapped the bridge of his nose then gently slid it into the tear duct. He tensed again, a cue for me to move my finger back to the bridge of his nose, making silly booping noises. Repeating the movement gained Dodgers trust and he became comfortable again. "Here comes the water."
The droplet trickled off his nose and into his tear duct. Dodger jolted upward, but didn't panic.
"Blink." I gently tapped his cheek below his eye and he blinked in unison to my soft touch. I repeated my process, then focused on the other eye.
"All done!" I said. I wanted to send Daniel a smug look but resisted since it wouldn't do any good.
The next morning, Dodger and I tried again with the eyedrops. His fear of them was overcome with little coaxing and the soothing effects of warm milk. He acted like an angel as the eyedrops were applied to each eye.
Afterward, he remained still in my lap, staring up at the ceiling with cursed eyes not being able to see what's in front of his face. I stared into the darkness of Dodgers eyes and got lost for a moment. Glimmers of pale blue and splatters of white that looked like shards of glass stared blankly back at me. The beauty in his eyes was undeniable and hypnotizing.
"Mae! You're burning daylight!" Mother cried from the kitchen. I placed Dodger on the floor, and ran for the bedroom to dress appropriately for winter. By the time I returned my hands were full with Dodgers shoes, socks, and a coat.
"Are you certain you want to take Dodger shopping with you?" Mother poked her head out of the kitchen.
I nodded with a smile.
"I want him to hear the wind chimes that hang in the marketplace."
"Trudging a baby around all day gets wearisome."
"I appreciate your concern mother, but I can carry him."
"He doesn't walk." She reminded.
"I know, mother! Taking him outside will help encourage it." I said and mother returned to the kitchen.
"I'm going to put your shoes on." I said to Dodger. "This is your left foot." I wiggled his toes on his left foot then slipped his shoes on repeated it with his right foot. I wrapped him in a jacket then picked him up.
"Let's say goodbye to grandma!" Passing the kitchen, I lifted Dodgers hand and waved for him.
"Goodbye, my sweethearts." Grandma grabbed Dodgers hand and shook it as if she was demonstrating how she waved. "Be safe!"
"Naturally."
The door clicked shut behind us and we made our way to the market.
Entering the street outside my apartment I never bothered to find the sky. Underwear dangled where clouds were supposed to be, clipped onto twine that stretched between buildings. I lowered my eyes to the ground as my cheeks grew hot. I felt embarrassed that anyone would bravely flaunt something so intimate. On laundry day we splay our clothes over the furniture. I'd rather sit on the floor then publicly display my underwear.
I pushed through the crowd, onto the busy street to be shoved by the rushing people. They didn't even look up with the slightest hint of remorse in their eyes, too busy to bother with human decency. I kept my eyes to the mud that the city classified as a street. One wrong look and unwanted attention will be grabbing my behind and making kissy noises in my direction. I would hope that having a baby would be a repellant for catcalling but I've seen mothers cradling their innocent babies and they're still targeted. Instead, I covered Dodger in my shawl and kept him close to my bosom.
I carefully steered through the streets, avoiding anyone that ogled. Maneuvering around the crowd and hiding behind larger people, following at their heals to hide from perverts is an art I seemed to master.
The streets quickly opened to the marketplace revealing the beautiful blue sky that I so desperately needed to see. The cold air filled my lungs with life again, the absence of piss in the air definitely helps rejuvenate myself.
Surrounding a large circular, courtyard made of white stone were tents set up to create rows for people to peruse around. The closest tent displayed beads that shone like the stars and some were so black it appeared as a hole in space dangling on silver chains. The owner jingleld as she extended her arms to showcase the beauty on the wearer, she was highly decorated in thousands of glass beads. A large man, I'm assuming was her husband puffed out his chest as vines wrapped around his neck as jewelry. I wouldn't be surprised if Lady Deinan owned this luxury.
We passed many tents that showcased items that curled in odd sculptures and splayed patterns for sewing materials across beams and poles. We stopped at long tent with twenty or so wooden boxes neatly displaying colors of the rainbow. The woman running the booth smiled widely as I approached, acknowledging my existence then waved to Dodger.
"What's the matter? Is he shy?" Her lip dropped, pretending to be upset when Dodger didn't wave back.
"No, he's blind."
"Oh, poor baby." She gently rubbed his cheek with the tip of her finger.
"I wanted him to try my favorite fruit." I said with a wide smile.
"Feel free to sample my wares." She lead me closer with wide, welcoming arms.
I was instantly drawn by a plump strawberry that glistened.
"This is a strawberry!" I plucked from the bushel then handed it to Dodger. Before trusting it, he traced the outline and felt the seeds that burrowed in the fruit. He took it and placed it to his lips but never ate it. "Eat it."
He paused, then took a small bite.
"Yum!" I responded as Dodgers face scrunched into confusion. Another bite and Dodger hummed with satisfaction. The outcome of Dodgers pudgy face was pleasing. I surrendered three copper coins for a small handful of strawberries. I would give up my entire coin purse just to keep that look of satisfaction on his face.
Amidst the courtyard was a snowy flat with a large tree in the middle. Windchimes gleamed gold, shined silver, and had hundreds of different textures and colors dangled from the trees thick branches. I sat down with my legs crossed and gently set Dodger on my lap. Wanting to relate to Dodger I closed my eyes and focused on my hearing. His furry brown hair brushed against me as his ears followed the wind. It swished past us and rustled the chimes. I attempted to match the sound to the type of chime. A jingle, soft tiny sounds rattled together I could only assume they must come from delicate metal such as silver. Another woosh, Dodgers ears refocused on another sound and I had moved my head with his. A deeper, gloomy bong rang with the wind. That sound could belong to either wooden chimes or old rusted ones. The sound of music flowed with the rush of the wind.
These sweet sounds attracted musicians. A group of three set up their instruments made with string and wood. A young woman, no older than myself, started a song by humming. She waited for the wind to blow fiercely then howled with the intensity of a wolf but chilling as a hoot from an owl. She stretched out her voice with the intensity of the wind, when it calmed, she hummed. The musicians called this the Song of the Wind, a song that is entirely made up as the wind blows and the chimes clang together.
Dodger had his fill of pleasant sounds and moved his attention to touch. With strawberry stained fingertips he picked up the snow and attempted to eat it. I placed my hands over the mound of snow and handed him another strawberry.
"Snow isn't for eating, Dodger." He quickly moved onto the strawberries again.
The wind blew again and Dodger hummed with delight as his ears followed the sounds of the windchimes. The strawberry was gone in seconds.
"… She's quick, she is." A woman said to her friend. They sat behind me, a few feet away. I tried to focus on the sound of the music as not to eavesdrop but they spoke loudly.
"I can't believe that Shi already closed two demon rifts in less than three weeks." Her friend appraised the saint.
Since the events of the odd burst of screams and wails that happened three weeks ago demon rifts had been opening up all over the realm. If the rifts exceeded past our own realm we wouldn't know, our realm doesn't concern themselves with the rest of the world. Our cities, and the people of our nation must protect of the precious Trees of Life. They were our primary concern.
"Shi's a beast. She can handle demons. You don't mess with our realm!"
I don't believe they're taking into consideration that Shi has an entire guild filled with hundreds of capable young men and woman. Shi is astounding, worthy of all praise, but she had help.
"What do you think caused these rifts to open? It makes me shudder." I dared not look behind me to see who was talking.
"Well, a friend of mine thinks that hell is broken and that the demons are living in our world now."
I got bored of their conversation. We pushed our way through the crowded streets again to return home.
~~
What time was it?
Was it dark because there wasn't a window for light to shine through in our bedroom?
Or was it because the morning light hadn't hit the horizon?
We only had two windows in our apartment. One acted as a vent for smoke in our living room, it was built directly above the chimney and another was on the adjacent wall. The layout of our apartment was unorthodox, the fireplace was in the living room because the chimney needed to be on the outside wall and our neighbors shared our kitchen wall. We could have easily turned the living room into the kitchen but we enjoyed lounging around the heat during cold winters. Our apartment was on the corner of the building, thankfully. Most residents weren't so lucky to have two extra windows, but we do pay a few silvers more.
I usually arose before the Alpha Sun on normal mornings, but that wasn't the case. I was awakened by a swift kick to my side. Dodger hadn't slept well and was still restless. I hummed to him until his eyes drifted shut. Several seconds later he tossed and turned, kicking and jostling me around.
I would have ignored it but his soft whimpers made me feel guilty for even considering the option to ignore him. I sat up and wrapped Dodger in my arms. His head was dripping with sweat but his skin was cold against my bare arms. His whimpers quickly turned to sobs. I held onto him tighter, hoping it would give him some sense of security but to my dismay, it hadn't.
My heart jumped and I shed my skin when Dodger began to flail violently and screeched like a banshee.
"Dodger, it's ok!" I held him tighter, binding his arms so he won't scratch himself. Witnessing him suffer this way and not being able to soothe him broke my heart. He screamed and screamed in what seemed to be never-ending torment. Mother jumped upright from her slumber. She reached for Dodger but was stopped by Daniels alarmed voice.
"Don't wake him, it could agitate him more."
I cradled Dodger until he slowly came to the realization that he was awake. Dodger wasn't soothed, he began to weep and slowly turned to loud wailing. I lifted him out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where I set him on the counter. He screamed louder, he was frightened, hurt, and confused about his new home situation. My heart longed to wrap my arms around him but I know he needed more than just my embrace.
I grabbed the milk jug, poured milk into the kettle then activated a fire spell to quickly warm it. I dipped a clean towel into the heated milk until it was sopping wet and handed it to Dodger. We didn't have bottles but Dodger seemed to enjoy sucking on the towel.
"How about a bedtime story?" I asked Dodger as I lifted him and took him to the bedroom. Dodger moved his head so his ear was facing me.
"Let's see…" I reminisced about all the stories I had locked inside my brain, the stories my father and mother used to tell.
"Oh, I love this story." I said with a hush so Mother and Daniel could fall back to sleep peacefully.
"Before the sun circled around the world and the moon casted a faint glow to guide us throughout the night, the god and goddess lived on Chara with their creations. They were a sight to behold. The Godius was larger than the trees! He had black smooth skin with golden hair that cascaded down to his hips. He always wore a mask so that his sunlight eyes wouldn't blind his followers."
Mother told me this story a hundred times and I repeated it verbatim.
"The Goddessa had pale skin and gleamed with the radiance of the moon." Dodger might not have seen these things before, hopefully the tone of my voice will lead Dodgers imagination to a positive image. "She wore a long cloak that held the stars and diamonds decorated her hair."
I grabbed Dodgers hair and ran my fingers through it so he understood what I was talking about.
"All was well, and the people were happy. But as the god and goddess created distant lands the beings of Chara felt a desire to explore the wonderous places. Unfortunately, the farther away they went the darker their world became. They cried out to the god and goddess for help so that they may see their surroundings and live equally close to them as everyone else. Help, help!" I flailed my arms comically and then jostled Dodger as a joke. His chuckle was joyous and made my heart melt.
"The god and goddess loved all their children. They desired a pathway of light for all. The two of them leaped into the sky together in the shape of the radiant sun and the crescent moon…" Dodgers palm laid flat in mine, I circled the shape in his palm so he understood what crescent meant. "They circled around Chara giving the people fourteen hours of light. The darkness was dangerous and the night long without the god and goddess. The Goddessa and Godius made an agreement to separate so that the other half of Chara has fourteen hours of faded light while the sun was gone. The Goddessa lighted the darkness only slightly so that her children can sleep peacefully knowing that she is watching over them. So whenever you wake up from a nightmare know that the Goddessa will always protect you, even in the darkest hours."
My lips touched his forehead, his hair tickled my nose.
"Good night, Dodger."
~~
The mornings were brutal on us. We had no bed, just a bunch of pillows and stacked blankets for us to lay on. Throughout the night, the pillows would shift as we wiggled uncomfortably. The blankets would scrunch together to leave long peaks jabbing at our backs. We shared a bed since our apartment only had two rooms and a small kitchen.
With heavy eyes, crackling bones, and a rumbling ache in my stomach, I forced myself up. I was halted abruptly by large arms wrapped around my waist. Daniel's sticky breath warmed my neck, a sensation I have come to love. Without it, I was cold. I smiled knowing I would always wake to him by my side. Daniel grumbled as I stood to light a candle. I didn't care if it woke him. We all had our responsibilities for the day. Mine was to take Dodger to the doctor.
"Dodger. Dodger, wake up." He grunted and let out a couple of cries. "Come on. We need to go."
I rubbed his back, hoping it would help wake him up. His eyes opened, but he clearly wasn't ready to get up. He curled his back to pull his knees to his chest and cradles his in a small nook between the ground and his body. It was his most comfortable sleeping position.
"We don't have time for your stubbornness." I wondered if he was bestowed with the stubbornness of a mule from his mother or father?
I wedged my hands in the open spaces between Dodger's body and the floor, attempting to pick him up without dropping him. He screamed in protest.
"Dodger, that's enough," I yelled at him. He stopped wiggling and woke up with a harrumph. His movements were slow and obvious hints that he was frustrated with me. He crossed his arms after putting on his day shirt and kicked his feet against the floor after putting shoes on. He dared to take his shoes off and throw them.
"You will sit still mister while I put your shoes on!" He harrumphed again and I struggled to get his shoes back on his feet. Dodger scrunched his face with frustration as I carried him out the door and to the doctor's office. We were put in the same room as before, where I sat him down to be examined.
"Huh..." The doctor stared into Dodger's eyes for what felt like hours. I held Dodger close to my chest to keep his head from moving.
"What is it?" I asked with curiosity.
The doctor leaned back into his chair.
"I don't think we can do surgery." His face told me something was wrong.
"Why not?"
"There are markings of a great spell within the cataracts of his eyes," he explained. I looked into Dodger's eyes.
"I don't see anything?" I squinted as I tried viewing his eyes at varying depths from me, trying to see if I could see what he saw.
"They're very small and undetectable." Doctor Ingram said. I stared harder, trying to visually trace the markings.
"If you haven't studied spells, you wouldn't know what you're looking at. I believe it's a veiling spell." He explained further.
"That means?"
"It's a spell used to hide something. He wasn't born with cataracts. They were put there for a reason. This spell has powerful markings. Only a high-level wizard could've cursed him with these cataracts. We'll never be able to counter this spell."
"Why would someone do that?" I doubted he would know why, but I wanted to hear his opinion.
"Your guess is as good as mine." He shrugged his shoulders. I ran my fingers through Dodger's hair for my own comfort. He was too young yet to understand.
"Has he spoken yet? Any kind of grunting or any signs of communication?" Dr. Ingram said, his hands complimenting his words.
"No, he hasn't."
"Does he respond when you talk to him?" he asked, not giving me the chance to say more
I sat and thought with my eyes focused on the ceiling, running through my various interactions with our new son.
"Yes, occasionally. Should I be concerned?" I asked.
"Not yet. When he's six solstices old, if he still hasn't talked then we will need to run some tests. I'm just curious if the boy is a mute."
"He screams and cries." As if to prove my point, Dodger let out a small noise. I had a hard time believing he was a mute.
"Since you adopted him from an unknown source, there are a lot of things that concern me. What if he has brain trauma? What if his previous parents were abusive? There's hundreds of scenarios like that. It's good for you to know what you're dealing with if you can."
I had never considered the possibility. I had been curious about Dodgers parents before, but never honestly concerned. The leper had said nothing about how Dodger had come to be in his life or if Dodger was even his son. I chewed on my thumb nail at the thought. What if Dodger was diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury? What if he never matured like a normal person?
"I'm curious about these ears of his, too," he said as he touched Dodger's ears and moved them gently to get a better look. "I looked into races that have sharp teeth and pointy ears like this with his pale skin complexion."
"And?"
"It's impossible to tell. There are hundreds of beings on Chara with these distinctions."
The conversation was cut short when the doctor's daughter came in to introduce the next patient. I was left with many questions and scenarios replaying in my mind. Who was Dodger? And who was that leper? Did the leper cast the spell on Dodgers eyes? We left with my thoughts all over the place. I didn't want to return home only to ponder on my unanswered questions. Instead, I took Dodger out for a walk.
Down at the marketplace where the windchimes were. I placed Dodger down and encouraged him to walk. He did nothing of the sort. He slowly crouched to the floor then crawled as his hands picked up snow. I kept trying, coaxing him with strawberries and other food I bought at the booths. Trying again and again helped keep my mind off of my worries. My focus was now on Dodger's progress and only that.
We returned home with my thoughts calmed, and I decided to fill in time by reading to Dodger. A few stories of the Godius and Goddessa kept Dodger interested until I needed to start dinner.
Mother helped with chopping a few vegetables and returned to the living room to throw them in the pot of boiling broth as the living room then returned to the kitchen.
"I'm home, Mae!" Daniel opened the front door and announced his arrival.
"I'm in the kitchen!" It took only a moment, but he walked into the kitchen. He hugged me before kissing my cheek.
"Did you see the doctor again?" he asked.
"Yes…"
"Did something happen?" He leaned against the counter with his arms crossed. He stared at me until I continued talking.
"The doctor said someone purposefully gave him cataracts."
"What?" His face twisted in confusion.
"I think it might be to hide his race." I said, Daniel shook his head. "What are you thinking?"
"I'm concerned, Mae. What if that leper did it to hide the fact that Dodger's race is aggressive." His voice dropped until it was barely a whisper.
"Dodger hasn't shown any signs of aggression."
"This morning with his shoes? His violent nightmare? I'm worried. I don't want this to go south on us. We know nothing about Dodger."
"He's a baby! He has plenty of time to grow, and we have all of that time to learn about him. I'm scared, too. But he's been nothing but sweet and loving," I said, trying to calm Daniel's fears.
"I know. I just wanted to express how I feel. I'm still uneasy, but like you said he's just a baby. We have time." Daniel had always communicated his fears to me, and I was grateful he did.