It's been weeks ever since I found myself giving distance to Men.
I have no idea why, but it may be because of what happened before.
Or was I just being too clingy on a punk?
These questions had always been keeping my thoughts wander off.
But there is one thing I realized.
Ever since that day, Joshua and I had never seperated.
Because that was one of the most unforgettable moments of my life.
-Throwback-
We were both lying on top of a grass.
Lying beside each other underneath a tree.
Stargazing and foretelling from afar.
And there he looked at me, smiling.
"I've missed that smile." he had said.
I looked at him.
We both blushed.
I smiled and then looked back at the stars to avoid showing my face.
Then he muttered.
"I've missed you."
I was shocked.
My eyes widened before I looked at him.
He held my hands and delicately stared unto my eyes.
His face is slowly reaching mine.
"Alot." he said.
I had no idea on what to do.
As his face slowly reaches mine, I can feel his warm breath and cold hands.
I can see his eyes showing sincerity.
And his heartbeat, beating rapidly.
He must've prepared for this.
But I really don't know what to do.
"I-" I almost finished.
But then he kissed me.
-End of throwback-
As I sat on a table, he went to the line and bought food for me.
Later on when he arrived, he sat in front of me.
"Make yourself full alright?" he said cheerfully as he pinch my cheeks.
He's so sweet.
But sometimes he's corny.
I managed to spend my time wisely with him.
And with every second that I am with him, slowly, I am forgetting Men.
Slowly, I decided to be with Joshua.
Until when would this ever end.
-Dale-
Blake and I has been seeing each other for a month now.
I am starting to wonder if ever this relationship would last.
But then I hate thinking these kinds of things.
I just want everything to flow smoothly.
I just want everything to be on its own.
Since it is our monthsary, I and Blake were suppose to eat outside.
I called him, but he didn't answer.
I decided to wait for him on the school campus, wondering if he might ever look for me.
So I kept on waiting.
I feel uneasy, with this
I was waiting, slowly becoming impatient and kept on looking at my watch.
I knew I have been waiting for more than an hour.
It is almost dark.
I wonder what is he doing.
I called him again.
It rang for some time before he was finally able to answer.
"Hello?" I said.
"Yes?" he asked.
"Where are you?" I asked him.
"I am quite busy right now, is there any problem?" he asked.
For a moment, I felt pain.
I was hoping he could remember.
Or at least, try to when I called him.
"No I-" I said but he didn't let me finish.
"Look I really am busy right now, let me talk to you later alright?" he said.
"Alright." I replied to him.
"Hey Blake! Let's go and take some shots now! Stop the call!" somebody on the phone had said.
I was shocked when I heard what I did.
The background was noisy.
And someone offered alcohol on him.
I texted him.
"I was hoping we could go out, since it's been a month." I said.
I didn't bother waiting for his reply.
Slowly, while I feel the sadness within me, I grabbed my backpack and walked towards my apartment.
I am sulky.
Teary.
Pathetic.
Lying in the bed doesn't feel the same as before.
I used to get texts from Blake if I have ever gone home already.
Or atleast, he does.
But now isn't the same as before.
He still hasn't replied to my text.
"What's going on?" I muttered to my self.
I slowly closed my eyes.
And then, I felt tears falling slowly.
I was almost asleep, when I received a text.
I was so tired and beaten up that I can't go up nor move anymore.
So I let go of the text and continued my sleep.
***
As I rise up, I went straight to the bathroom and took a wash.
While washing, somebody called me.
It was Blake.
I answered it and placed it on loudspeaker.
"Hello?" he said.
"Yes?" I asked.
"Let's go out." he said
"Where?"
"Just go down after you're done washing. I'll be waiting for you." he said.
"Alright." I replied.
From these words that he had said, I don't know if I had already moved on from what happened last night.
He might be really busy.
Or..
I don't know.
After washing, I dressed myself up and immediately went downstairs.
I saw Blake outside of his car waiting for me.
He waved over me.
I smiled and rushed towards him.
"You look cute today." he said.
I blushed as he said those words.
He assisted me inside his car and he went inside.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"Somewhere special." he said.
He held my hands as he drive.
"I really thought you'd forget." I said.
"Of course not." he said and he smiled.
"Where were you yesterday?"
"I was at a friend of mine, we were doing a research for our project." he said.
I couldn't seem to stop wondering.
The background where he was last night was noisy.
He continued driving then.
***
He didn't take me to any restaurants.
Instead, he took me to a park.
"Why are we here?" I asked him.
"We're eating here." he said as he took out the stuff out of his compartment.
"This is nice, and peaceful." I said as I feel the air travelling around the place.
There were no one else except us.
We were on a grassy field, with the sun shining upon us.
"How is it?" he asked me.
"I love it." I said.
"Thank you." I said again.
He sat beside me.
There were foods around us and he's holding my hands.
He looked at me.
I did the same.
He smiled.
And I did too.
I wish this could last for more than forever.
I just wish.
"Let's eat." he said without removing the smile off of his face.
I cherish this moment.
For more than anyone could know.
I'll always keep this in my heart.
Once we were done, he took me to different rides.
I was enjoying so much.
We did a ton of rides.
We were very tired while we were in the way home.
I have spent my whole day with him.
From morning til afternoon, I was with him, smiling and laughing.
While we were on the way home, he held my hands, as usual.
However, my doubts still couldn't stop.
But I trust him.
I just really couldn't explain what I am feeling right now.
His phone rang.
It was an unknown number.
When he heard it, he immediately took of his hands on mine and answered the call.
"Yes?" he asked on the phone.
"Alright I'll be right there." he immediately replied towards the person.
"Who was it?" I asked him.
"It was just a friend of mine. He said he had found something related to our research." he said.
"I'm really sorry, but I'm dropping you off on yor apartment, is that alright?" he said.
"Sure, I have some stuff to do too." I said.
We both smiled at each other.
I was confident.
I knew he was telling the truth.
***
When we arrived, I went out of his car and I farewelled.
However, he didn't say goodbye.
Instead, he smiled and rushed away.
"He must be really busy." I said to myself.
As I hug the bear he had gave, I went towards my apartment.
I was tired, but was happy.
When I got inside my room, I immediately placed his gift on the bed.
I was exhausted too.
I lied on the bed and decided to take some nap.
-Lenon-
The day bombarded me with tons of surprises.
Who would've thought, that my crush since junior school would like me too?
I was smiling while holding Joshua's hands.
We were both walking towards my apartment.
"Looks like you're here." he said.
I nodded and I smiled at him.
"Yeah. Thanks for the ride." I told him.
Then between this moment, there was a depth of silence wrapping around us.
It feels awkward.
I feel awkward.
I have no idea what to do.
But then, I'm so unconscious...
Joshua kissed me on the cheeks.
"Goodnight." he said cheerfully.
"Wh- wha..." I said.
He walked away while waving towards me.
I smiled and looked back at my apartment.
I held my cheeks.
I feel the warmth of his kiss running through my cheeks.
I kept on blushing and blushing and blushing.
"So this is what it feels to have someone by your side." I muttered to myself as I lie on my bed.
-Dale-
"Have you seen the video footage?!" someone said.
"It was unbelievable!" another person stated.
"Who would've done such thing?!" another person replied.
Looks like something had gone off of the school society again.
This should be interesting.
I decided to check the video.
When I opened it.
It was shocking.
It was a guy having a sex with a girl.
The two of them seemed pretty drunk.
Out of control.
I looked at the video carefully.
"Wait, isn't this Blake?" one guy from my back said.
I glanced at the guy.
Then I looked at the video carefully.
I am having doubts if I should believe him or not.
There are some parts of the video that really makes it look like it was Blake.
But there are some signs that it wasn't him.
I wonder who is in the video.
I immediately called Blake.
He had answered.
"Let's break up.." he said.