I left the office as soon as work finished also since our CEO took a day off, I was sure that he listened to everything.
I took a cab so as to reach early since I knew that he was already there. I reached the desired address after a 20-minute ride. I didn't know what he was planning neither I wanted to know, honestly. After Alex, Hyung was the first person to know about my past and now Andrew became the next one.
I got a call from Andrew and hence I picked up. Then I followed his instructions and reached the place where he wanted me to be. I saw him there, standing alone in front of a gravestone. His hairs were messy and he looked tired. I suppose if he slept all night or not. I slowly approached him but he remained quiet and so did I. Then, I turned towards the other side so as to read the name on the gravestone that made Andrew look so disturbed and also to quench my curiosity as to why I was called here.
But the reason became crystal clear. My mind instantly flashed the traumatic memories as I read the name, it was a name that tormented me for years, a name that disrupted my sleep cycles, a name that was the cause of my nightmares and how could I forget a name like that which was engraved with a knife on my heart.
The breeze had a chill and there were not many people around. But now when I imagine all this, it all feels unfair. "Why this person had the freedom to leave the world?
Why this person was not tormented like I was?
Was I the only one suffering from agony all this time?
What about my apology? Did I...Did I ever want one?"
Without even realizing I suddenly lost control over myself and laughed hysterically. Am I laughing or am I crying? My mind was not able to send the right signals so maybe that's why I am acting like this. It's annoying trying to figure out my own feelings, if I start questioning one emotion then the other becomes sad.
He approached me and I grabbed his collar, "Why? Why did he rest in peace? Why he was not rescued and why did I got saved? I was the sufferer and he got the chance to escape. Andrew, tell me what wrong did I do to deserve all this? I always try to forget everything, I seriously do but then... then my past never lets me live in peace. These things are embedded here, "I pointed towards my chest, "even a corner is fine for them and they laugh at me for being weak. Is me being like this a crime?
Don't people like us deserve happiness? All those moments I thought were good turns out to be replaced with gloom. I also want everything to stop but why am I never this lucky." I was devastated and I got goosebumps maybe because of the chilling wind or due to my excessive rage.
"Hyung stop, please stop talking, I know, I understand everything," his voice was also trembling and he smelled of alcohol as he hugged me.
I separated myself from him and looked at him in a mocking way, "A guy like you who never feels envious of someone else his whole life, I wonder how you are able to relate," I spouted those words at him.
But the irony was that he was the one crying and I just stood there with mixed emotion but no tears. I didn't have any strength to stand and so without even anything happening, I collapsed to the ground.
I opened my eyes and found myself in the front seat beside Andrew. I was covered with his coat. It was dawn but I already texted Hyung so I was relieved. I saw Andrew was still asleep on the driver's seat. The feeling of guilt rushed through me as soon as I saw his tired face. "Why did I even say that?" For a split second, I lost control over myself but yet again I became the cause of hurt for another person. His brother is no longer alive but there I blabbered without even considering his feelings. I buried my face into my palms and heard his voice.
"It was midnight when we heard voices from his room," Andrew started speaking since it was close to my room so I ran first, we thought that someone broke in but instead it was my brother talking. I reached his room and he pushed me towards the wall. His grip was tight and he was panting, "please run away, run away from me, why did you come back, why?" he started yelling, and I, on the other hand, was perplexed by that sudden encounter. Soon everyone else arrived and he calmed down. The next day I was told that it was due to the abrupt rut that sometimes he faced hallucinations. I never heard of this before because Hyung was completely fine until now but I believed it at that time. Then soon his condition started worsening and they lied again about it, they said it was a side effect to the medicine but instead he was diagnosed with schizophrenia." Andrew paused for a second, fixed the coat that he covered with me with, and continued again.
"He was isolated and a doctor came to our house instead of him being hospitalized because my family didn't want to make his condition public. He was the first in line to inherit the company and so dad did every possible method to cure his condition but like you always say Kiro Hyung, fate had something else on his mind.
A time came when he totally isolated himself and soon we all realized that time was fleeting and although the medicines worked, they only slowed his senses. He was now just a body without any soul whose only task was to exist. He was existing not for his sake but for our parent's sake. Then one day the most unexpected happened," Andrew sighed "he overdosed on the medicines and we lost him forever."
"You must be thinking Hyung that how can such a cheerful person change all of a sudden but now if I recall back it all started after that incident happened with you. When you left the house to take your own life, he was in the initial phase of taking his own as his symptoms appeared after just after one week. I always wondered what he saw or whom he was talking to, why he apologized in the middle of the night, and why he would harm himself without any reason? But after listening to your recording yesterday, everything is crystal clear now. It was you Hyung, you appeared before him and if you think that he didn't apologize. Let me tell you this that he apologized every night before going to the bed but only that sound didn't reach you in time."
I was bewildered but at the same time scared. I was no longer aware of how I should react and if I should console him or first take care of myself. I turned on the music so as to divert my mind. I just wanted to hear another person's voice right now as I was able to imagine him saying sorry and I wanted to eradicate his voice from my head.
"As a lover, I failed, as a brother I failed and most of all I failed to find you at the right time. But you know Hyung, I tried searching for you, I don't know why but I even went downtown where there are many omega cafes", he told while turning down the volume.
His attention now diverted towards me maybe because of the music that I turned on but he told me something out of the ordinary. He searched for me at the omega cafe. He turned to face me and told me that he went downtown with Taehyung where there are lots of omega cafes in the hope that he could find me. It was before the time that he received the fake letter that was supposedly written by me. He became aware that it was a place solely for omegas and if we were lucky enough then an alpha could meet an omega.*
"I also downloaded the virtual application that allowed us to text omegas and I heard that if we could become an elite member then we could also date a real-life omega. Well, it was not actually dating but still, I didn't want to lose even a small hope so I tried.
But I was underage at that time so I was thrown out, of course, and also when I received the letter about you then I lost all hope. I lost my brother, I lost my lover and my father is hospitalized too. Life surely is laughing at me right now. Hyung you thought only you were the one suffering but I suffered too. I still can't believe that my parents hid the fact from me. I can't believe that my brother who was like a role model for me performed such an act and I can't believe that this whole time you survived with those scars. And after listening to all this you still think I can't relate with you then I'm sorry Hyung that I said that" he was now quiet and his puffy eyes and dilapidated state was enough for me to pity him.
I pulled myself together and asked him to shift the driver's seat. I didn't want him to leave in that condition so I offered to take him home. I started the car after shifting positions with him. "I can't forgive your brother and your parents Andrew but I can assure you one thing that since he suffered a great ordeal, I pray that his soul finds the way in the afterlife." as I said those words I speeded up, as Andrew respected my decision.
To be continued....