Have you ever exercised on a treadmill?
Well, I have. The feeling of being drenched in sweat with increased heart rate and legs getting weak as you reach your limit. But still, you are on the same spot and the only thing you can do is increase or decrease the speed of the machine. You are not aiming for an end or chasing a goal but instead, you plan on reshaping your body in order to fulfill the goals later with the help of it.
The above example is adequate to relate the life of an alpha. I was the second born in my family. Since both of my parents were alphas, I was bound to be an alpha. Nobody was shocked and nobody was happy either when my gender results came out. But for some reason, everybody started flattering me a lot more than usual. Everybody wanted to become my friend and being at that age I thought it was normal. I considered everybody equal but later life taught me something that changed my ideals.
I always wondered why omegas got a holiday or the ads always talked about omega medicines when they were in heat to control it. There were also medicines made for alphas but the school rules strictly prioritized omegas to take medicines as if only they were the ones undergoing a hormonal imbalance.
As I passed my classes, I saw that there were quite a bunch of omega students left until we reached graduation. Many dropped out or others had an incident related to their heat and hence were forced to drop out. There were also not many places that hired omegas and hence the only work left for them was to work in the omega cafes. But these were my secondary concerns.
As alphas also not have it all merry. As a child, I was raised by my servants as my mom and dad were both busy. But my elder brother played with me as soon we both realized that we both can only rely on each other. My parents never attended my school meets and neither they cared what I was up to. The only thing they cared about was that I followed the timetable that they set up themselves and also for me to not become a troublemaker.
Also, it was not too late that I realized the true intentions of my friends. They were all actually gold diggers as I did not abide by the notion that alphas could become friends with alphas only but I was wrong.
I started avoiding people and also my timetable was tiring. Then one day as I was following my routine, I met Taehyung during the piano lessons. My dad dropped me off that day and the same was the case for him. He introduced us and wanted us to be friends. But there again I wanted to be different and not become friends with the alphas but for some reason, he did not force me. A whole week passed and things were perfect as I wanted them. He minded his business and I minded mine but deep inside it was not alright.
Maybe it was the first time that someone didn't pay attention to me or the irony was that I felt empty and really wanted a friend. And then one day he visited my house during a party, I finally approached him and was amazed to know that we shared the same ideals but he was a little lucky and got some genuine friends of another gender unlike me. But they were mostly betas as omega males are rare.
Our friendship grew strong and we are still friends to date. I started enjoying my life more and modified my ideals too. I made more friends and things were quite stable. But I could only trust Taehyung and when he was not around or missed days and didn't come to play with me in the park then I would often climb trees in order to avoid the others. My nanny used to search for me and I was not quite fond of them since they would tattletale about me every time to my parents.
And it was the same day when Tae was not there and I was hiding on top of a tree when I saw the most beautiful human, Kiro(Sarang). I disliked being an alpha and pitied the other genders but that day when I saw Hyung crying and when I calmed him and talked to him I was sure that I wanted to protect him at all costs no matter what. He was himself crying but he cared for my wounds more.
It was like destiny also wanted us to be together as he got a job at my place and was not like the other nannies. He calmly handled my temper and when I later found out that he was an omega, my happiness knew no bounds. My days were sunnier and I adapted to the schedule made by my parents.
I liked playing with him in the park as that was the only time when he relaxed and I could see his happy smile. So, I vowed that once I become stable in life, I would definitely embrace this person like an alpha should and make him mine forever.
But something happened, something forbidden happened and that day I lost two persons that meant the world to me, one was my brother and the other was my lover. I didn't believe what others told me but when I truly found out the truth that night when my brother held me by my shoulders in his room and wanted me to run away, I saw his face. He was terrified and shivered like a fish out of water. He was sweating profusely too and there I realized what an alphas rut was capable of.
He constantly told me to run away and called me by the name that I didn't expect from his mouth. But there it was, a name that only I wanted to cherish, the name of my lover. After that day I decided to look for Kiro(Sarang) Hyung myself but I didn't even know where to start. Then one day I heard the alpha boys in school about the omega cafe and so I decided to go on an omega hunt in order to find him. But things didn't quite work out. Also, I felt ashamed of myself for thinking like that.
As I barely overcame your loss from my life, another person lost his life (Derek) and the clouds enveloped my life's sunny sky again. My reason for existence was slowly diminishing.
I completely changed myself after that maybe as I was advancing in my life, I was accepting the fate of an alpha. But even after all these things happened, my parents still wanted to protect their image and lied about my brother's death. My distance with them increased more especially my mother and I vowed to never marry an alpha, no matter what. All the burden was now on my shoulders and they expected a lot from me. And so I decided to just run on the treadmill but this time not bothering about the speed button. I wanted things to go at their own pace this time.
But then again the clouds are not permanent and again the rays of the sun shone in the sky while you arrived in my life again. At first, I didn't believe my eyes but then this time after so many years, I wanted to hit the stop button. I wanted to stop running and wanted to be the one to control my life with you by my side.
I wanted things to go smoothly and wanted to be assured that you were over your trauma. I didn't want to hurt you in any possible way. Also, I was not sure if you despised me because of my brother so I kept observing for a while and slowly regained your trust. I knew that if I hurried, you would run away again so I gave you all the time to open up first but you never made the first move.
(Chapter 6- Promise)
And when I thought that I would approach you first, I spotted you with someone else and that made me enraged. That day you were smiling, the smile that I once adored, the smile that you only shared with me. You reciprocated that smile to another person and that ached my heart. I tried to deny this feeling since you didn't approach me first I took the idea that you avoided the past on purpose. I tried to calm my mind that if I was in your place I would have done the same but then a whole month passed.
(Chapter 9- To run or to accept)
It was raining that day when I saw you running in my direction. I thought I took you for someone else but Nah, there you were crying and looking for comfort. So, I took you to my house, and as if fate played as my ally I found out that we shared the same apartment.
I didn't want you to see my place in this state as I knew that you would forget everything once you wake up but I still had little hope. Folks say that you don't lie when you are drunk. So, even if I had a small hope I wanted to take the chance and knew about the other person in your life whom I saw that day.
But to my surprise, I didn't even have to initiate the talk. You yourself kept talking about some Hyung and so I naturally assumed that he was the same person you were hugging that day. The way you constantly wanted to leave the place that day even if I approached you, you cleared my doubts.
But I somehow managed to keep you by my side that night and realized how hard things were for you. You kept talking in your sleep too and I became aware of the reason why you were running while you bumped into me.
I immediately took measures in order to deal with that person but never did I imagined that you would agree to something like that. Maybe you really had it rough all this time before landing this job. It was disturbing for me for sure but more than this the thought of you, calling someone else's name so comfortably was more disturbing.
Then when you woke up the next day, you disappeared all of a sudden and even took a leave. To be honest I could have got all the information just by asking my secretary but I wanted to see everything with my own eyes and that was the time when I heard Mr. Yang and Ms. Lee planning to visit you.
Maybe I was so adamant in believing that the Hyung was the same person whom I saw that day and probably is your lover but when you told me in the kitchen about him being your brother, my embarrassment knew no bounds. Yes, I was relieved too but then again my mind wavered as to how a beta can be your brother.
As soon as I reached home I listened to your recording. The reel of past events played in my mind. It was not as if I didn't know anything but to hear all those things from your voice was heart-shaking. I had mixed feelings at that time as I pitied my brother for losing to his instincts and for you being an omega. Then I pitied myself for not understanding any of them at the right time.
For a split second, anxiety turned into emptiness and that emptiness was on the brink of turning to vacuum. But my heart took the lead and told me to be thankful since Sarang Hyung was still alive and there was a way I could still protect a life. I didn't want to lose you again and hence I decided to be honest with you too.
I took you to his grave on purpose not wanting you to hate him forever but still, I told myself that I would agree to whatever decision you take. And everything happened in the same way but deep deep inside there was a spark of assurance that I wanted to experience for a longer time.
Then the day of the event arose and there the mystery of the hug man also unveiled. I was astonished when you finally told me that the man you hugged that day was Alex, my best friend's partner. You also told me that you both were best friends and I realized that all this time you were around me and it felt like I had a blindfold on. Surely I became the laughing stock that day among you guys but that created a memory, not painful ones from my past but a happy one. I got back with the love of my life and furthermore, he was happy and so was I.
I was finally able to cherish myself and enjoy the company of friends who were not only alphas but omegas and betas. I was finally in a position where I could be friends with everyone and talk to everyone freely. I created a workplace where everyone was equal regardless of their gender and everyone was judged according to their talent and not by their gender. We all are humans first after all.
"Sometimes, the endings are not always about parting ways but can be the start of a new chapter of life."
Thank you, beautiful people.
~THE END~