Chereads / How To Kill Demons For Dummies / Chapter 2 - A Great Start

Chapter 2 - A Great Start

Demons...

🅓🅔🅜🅞🅝🅢: An evil spirit or devil, especially one thought to possess a person or act as a tormentor in hell.

Back before the world turned into shit by demons, I had always wished that demons would be more... appealing to the eye like in cartoons, TV shows, manga and anime.

But instead of getting hot demon girls, we instead of hot burning abominations of horror. So when demons appeared out of nowhere around 2 years ago you could already tell that I was deeply disappointed. So you're probably wondering what I'm doing to coupe with the loss of 90% of humanity and all my friends of family...

I'm sitting down on my couch playing video games with my room-mate Mochi to pass the time. We live in a one-room studio apartment with a bathroom and kitchen the size of the happiness of a child sweatshop worker. All we have in the apartment is a couch, a bed and a TV with a gaming console, nothing really special. Mochi and I play some fighting games every single night to see who's sleeping on the couch and who's sleeping on the bed.

I have insomnia...

🅘🅝🅢🅞🅜🅝🅘🅐: A sleep disorder that is characterized by difficulty falling and/or staying asleep.

It's like a shittier version of immortality but instead of me not being able to die I'm unable to sleep. It's been almost three days straight and I haven't managed to get any sleep, I have no idea why this is happening...

To be honest, I don't understand why I'm room-mates with this monster, she doesn't do the dishes, never cleans after herself and acts like a slob all day. She hasn't even changed her clothes for around three days already, she's always wearing that stupid purple cat hoodie and purple shorts. She wears purple everything, she even dyed her short messy hair purple.

Well, back to my problem, modern problems require modern solutions, so that's why I asked my room-mate Mochi for a favour.

"Hey, Mochi," I said as I put down my controller.

"What's up?" Mochi replied as she paused the game.

"I want you to hit me as hard as you can in my face and knock me out, I've never actually ever been in a fight before, so I wouldn't know how much this will hurt," I said with confidence.

"Man, you're fuckin weird Jun, is this like some sexual fantasy of yours?" Mochi then put down her controller and gave me a weird look.

Mochi and I met during our junior year of high school, obviously, that's not her real name, but I call her that cause she had a serious candy obsession during our first 2 years of high school. During our senior years of high school, she managed to convince me to drop out with her and move to the big city of Ailartsua in hopes of hitting it big earning tons of money, and lucky for me that was a choice that saved my life.

Unlike literally every other single city in the entire world, Ailartsua decided and I quote,

"Hey guys, why the fuck don't we make our city fly high up in the air!?"

-Mayor of Ailartsua 2025

Everyone thought that he was crazy... and they were right, but still, for some reason they went ahead and laser cut the whole city out of the ground and suspended it in the air using magnets. You're probably wondering who the hell would build something like that?

People who are paid an ungodly amount of money by a man that rhymes with Mayor of Ailartsua.

And here we are now, a year later living in a crappy studio apartment infested with ants while I ask my friend to beat the shit out of me while suspended in the air on a floating city... What a time to be alive.

"What? No, I just want you to kick the shit out of me." I tell Mochi.

"Why? Just, please explain to me why..." Mochi said with a disappointed and disgusted look on her face.

"I can't fall asleep."

"Oh god, is this that insomnia crap again, can't you just take those sleeping pills or something?"

"Does it look like we can afford those? We live in a crappy studio flat with one window."

"Hey, I'll have you know that we own a flat in the Ailartsua, aka the only city were we can live in peace without having to deal with those demons.

"Dude I'd rather get eaten by a demon then live in this dumpster for another week, I'm pretty sure the ants own more of the flat than we do."

"I'll have you know that those ants are our pets."

"Who the hell keeps ants as pets?"

"Me..."

"Man you're fukin weird Mochi."

"Look who's talking masochist, you're the one who wants me to hit you in the face."

~Knock Knock Knock~

"What the hell was that?" I say as I turn my head quickly towards the door.

"I think it might be Jesu or something coming to visit you." Mochi laughs.

"Haha, hilarious."

"I don't know the man he could be outside waiting for you or something."

"Yeah yeah, whatever..." I replied with a sigh as I went and walked over to the door.

I open the door slowly to see a tall white man with long silky brown hair along with a nice and well-groomed beard wearing a white robe.

"Hey I'm looking for a Jun Kaios?" The man said with a smile.

"JESUS IS THAT YOU?" I yelled in shock.

"Would Jesus be working as a package delivery man?" He said sarcastically.

"I don't know, you tell me Jesus." I said as I took the package.

Jesus then waved goodbye and walked off.

"Oh crap is that my package?" Mochi said as she took the package out of my hand.

"I think so? I don't remember ordering anything... did you order something on the internet using my name!?"

"Yeah, they banned me off eBay for reasons I cannot disclose."

"How the hell did you manage to get banned from eBay?"

"You'd be surprised." She said while a smirk.

She then ripped open the package to reveal a yellow and black book and held it up in the air, "IT'S FINALLY HERE!" Mochi yelled in excitement.

"What the hell is that?" I asked her.

Mochi then revealed the front cover of the book to me showing the title...

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