" I never dream to fall in love. One thing that is only on my mind is to find a good work, provide my family with enough money, getting house and maybe traveling. But Fall in Love is never in the list. Truly. I assure you. It never been in my list.
So when a certain someone knock my heart, yeah knock my heart not literally. I mean. I never dream, you know. To have a relationship. For me, there is no one as perfect as the male lead in the drama. Where the male lead like the female lead so much. Where everything they do makes the world become spring. Where everything turn into romance because of them.
But I met him. I still remember the moment when I first saw him. Maybe like a cliche word. But really, at that time, I felt like the world stop for a moment. Like there is no one beside him. Only me and him. So, the story goes like this.
I was shopping for my things to prepare for the college opening. Dont know how to call it but the thing is I am going shopping by myself. And the dumb thing is I did not care at my surrounding and just walk out of the supermarket to go to my car. Like everyone else.
As I leisurely walking to my car, with a trolley that I pushed in front of me, someone knocked to the trolley and fall down. I mean yeah can you imagine. I was so scared at that time. I thought I will be the one who will be blamed because I do not even see the person and I knocked him.
With worry voice, I ask him, are you okay eventhough he is still on the floor. I did not see his face so when he looked up, I stunned. Literally stunned. The man I knocked down was so enchantingly beautiful. No. Is so beautiful. Not pretty like a girl but beautiful as a man. With a defined jaw and a pair of eagle like eyes, I thought my heart stop for a bit. Maybe I am too stunned that I did not even realize that the man is no longer on the floor and he is nowhere to be seen.
Arrrggh.. So, dear diary. What I have to do to find the man that I fall in love with. I think I have fallen and this time I fall deep. And also I fall at first sight. Oh my diary, can you help me? "
Reading through every words on her diary, Alice cried her eyes out. Yes, this is the first note that she wrote when she first meet the man .Her dream man if you can call that. No it should be her damn man. She did not know how to explain her feeling.
Betrayed. Sad. Angry. She had loved him since the first time she meet him. She chase him. Chase his love. Clinging after him. Hoping that somehow he reciprocate her feeling. And her hope comes true. He become her man. And at that time she become the most happiest person in the world. Can you imagine the feeling when you crush after him, then chase him and like dream, he become yours. Can you imagine the joy? The happiness? Thats why when he became hers, she treat him well so much. Worry that one day he will change his mind and leave her.
But as days passes, their relationship become tasteless. There is no color. And he will always have reason for not being there with her..For 3 years they will always celebrate everything together. Their birthday. Their anniversary. But at the 4th year, there is no such celebration. He is busy to the point she cannot meet him anymore.
Alice did not want to lose this relationship. So one day, she makes a suprise visit to him With flowers and gift, like he always do to her. Reaching his home, she unlocked the door lock using their password. 'ALLEO' .Like the old days, it open. With joy, she entered the house but to her suprise, she saw a couple that is making up on the sofa. Loving and caressing. Calling each other's name.
She want to close her eyes. Hoping that today is just a dream. That the one in front of him are not her beloved. Unfortunately, this is reality. Without shamelessness, the man stopped what they are doing. He smiled to her while caressing the woman in below him. The woman snickered at her and she said,' you are used. And he is tired with you. So why you dont get the fuck out of this house so we can continue'
That word makes her mind open..Makes her realize everything. Makes her taste this feeling of betrayal. So this is it. Without words, she run and run. Run from this pain. Run from this betrayal. Upon reaching her home, Alice stumbled down on the floor. Crying her eyes out. And still crying as she remember her first note on this diary of hers. Still remember how she felt that the man is her dreams. She want to heal this pain. But no matter how much she cried her eyes out, the pain did not subsided.
So, maybe just maybe if she do this, everything will end. 'Sorry mum. Sorry dad for your unfaithful daughter. If I born again, I still want to be your daughter. This pain hurt so much and I cant endure it anymore. Hoping for your happiness' With that words, Alice pushed down the chair as slowly and slowly her neck blocked her breath. Slowly and slowly she lose her conciousness and she cant help to say, 'Bye, world'