Chapter 6
Is this the way my life is just destined to see it alone from here? is this
The person who entered with Syafikah made my heart beat fast when Najmi's jacket was wrapped around her body. Am I ... Am I late? Her face turned red, and red with embarrassment. The shots are easy to read. Actually I don't deny I noticed the change in her face, when Najmi went through their table, she just turned to the side and looked the other way when Najmi looked at her.
I turned around, looking at Zaid when Najmi arrived at the table. Zaid just responded to the signal for me to be patient.
"How long has this program been going on?" Najmi asked me. I pointed at my watch and nodded silently, holding back my own rage. I felt a hurricane, happening in my heart. But ... do I deserve to be jealous?
"Where's your jacket?" asked Azim who was at the same table with us. I just plugged my ears.I shifted my gaze by coaxing towards the stage where several events were taking place.
"My jacket is there." He said while pointing a finger at the woman's desk. The verse was short, with a big smile. I know, he likes her. Man ... doesn't do something if he doesn't like it.
"Wow ... that's your girl?!" Azim teased. The smile widened. Everyone at the same table, was already smiling mischievously. My heart burns, when I hear the names of people associated with others.
"No, she's single." I spoke up, suddenly. I don't like teasing them about Najmi, when it comes to the women I like. I kept talking. Spontaneous words made them look at each other. A moment later, there was a twinge of wonder.
"She spoke. Just now. Today." I added my words. Realize, that I am unreasonable to speak as I know about her. I just don't like hearing their gossip.
If you see their reaction at first, they suspect something in me. But, for the reason I did. They just nodded. But I know, they can read my suspicions.
Najmi, look at me. He know.
"Hmm .. many of our friends are unmarried." Azim's voice, as he watched the girls at the back table. The others just nodded. "If we want to find a partner, a girl sitting behind us can also be a wife." Azim's voice was not too loud, but at a glance he looked towards the back table. I saw smiling faces between them. .
"You think, they were to accept you. They don't want you either, you know." Answer another friend. Their laughter, so as to arouse the staring eyes. I just kept quiet. Occasionally glanced also at the back table.
Najmi spoke up. "All I know is, my soulmate is here." Najmi smiled. I heard, turning to Najmi. My widened eyes looked at the woman's desk. But she did not see.
Is, only Najmi likes.
"Congratulations, when is the wedding?" question Azim.
My chest was pounding. Do I need to hear again?
I was able to stand up. Get up from my seat. Tonight's party, which should be lively. But, for me. It is, getting gloomier.
Probably, an expectation from myself. Impossible, she is not owned until now. She's the perfect woman. In fact, at night I was distracted by her. During the day, the shadow alone makes the heart beat faster. Probably, Najmi has already expressed his feelings to her. Although I'm not sure myself.
"Tonight, we have already voted for the couple who attracted the attention of many. Invited Mister King's first choice, which is none other than, Najmi. Asked Najmi, to come forward." The leader's voice, loudly heard in the loudspeaker.
Hearing Najmi's name, became an option. I know, he will win. And I'm sure, the chosen couple, it must be her. Najmi got up, wanting to step onto the stage.
"Najmi…" I turned around. Najmi also turned around.
"Jacket." A piece of leather shirt, given back to Najmi. I was stunned to see them, one stretched out and the other rejected. Najmi insisted on pushing, until she had to take Najmi's jacket back. I was the one watching, leaving the ceremony. I don't like them being too friendly in front of me. I don't like them like that in front of me.
I am really not myself!
I moved into the foyer outside the hotel lobby. Cold breeze night at this time, may be able to take care of my own heart. I'm wrong about this. I threw away my luck. It was as if the voice of the person who was holding back the anger in the funnel of the call was loud. Actually, this is my fault. If my words that day had not hurt her, she would not have uttered such a verse.
That voice..I miss it.
"Hey, why are you outside?" Someone come at me. I turned around.
My forehead, furrow. Somewhat surprised by her sudden presence. No Syafikah or Najmi "Why, are you out?" I also asked. The questions, asked with the another questions. The presence of her who suddenly reprimanded me, made me a little surprised. Is, she follows me from behind.
"I want to fix this jacket." She said while showing the jacket on her arm.
I nodded. Bitter, felt in the throat. "Why not use it." Ask me again.
"It's not mine." The answer is one word.
I nodded again. I know, that jacket belongs to Najmi. "Tired of sitting too long inside." Ask me again. Change the direction of a conversation that has just begun.
"I'm bored too. The ceremony is over. There's only a singing slot left." Talk about it. "If you're interested in singing, come in. I want to go back. I want to rest." She step away.
"Hei ..." I held her back. "Can I say something." I question.
She wondered at my request, then after a while she nodded. Agreed to chat for a while, with me. The only condition was, she didn't want to get up late. Shortlived. Because of that condition, I was quick to agree. Because of that, I accompanied her to the homestay.
"Yeah..what are you want to say?" she asked, as she and I walked together.
"I want to ask, about that`s confession first. Are you still angry now?" I asked her.
She is silent. "Not." She said
"Now, aren't you still angry?" I asked again wanting certainty.
"Not really. Why ask?" she asked too.
I murmured in relief. "I'm worried, you're still pissing at me. Because I know, I was wrong." I answered the question.
She smiled, looking at me before throwing her gaze forward. "I'm not angry either. If you want to join, originally. I want to know, who you are. So, I dare to call you. But, I didn't expect. You're going to ask nonsense." She said, a bit slowly.
The octave of her low voice, reminded me of our conversation that showed the bad side of me. I'm ashamed of myself. I forgot about that. "I'm sorry." My fault, shame.
She shook her head. "I understand, if you want to test. But that's why I want to get close to you. At first I had no intention to express, but because I'm very disappointed with you. People I consider good. Take care of your siblings and do something that I feel is degrading to his own dignity. So, my expression that day became a source of anger. "Obviously, that made me think long and hard.
"You mean?" Feeling curious, the meaning of trying to convey. "You don't like me, but you confess?" I guess, trying to unravel her words.
She smiled again. Now, we have arrived at her homestay room. "I like you, but just being friends is enough." She said. "Thanks for sending me. I'll go up first."
I do not understand. All this time, did she consider me a friend? I'm the only one who has feelings for her all this time. So, how is Najmi? Is it Najmi, is another. "Are you ... playing with my feelings, aren't you?"
She turned. Her forehead furrowed, with a ripple of question marks. "What?"
"You, are you kidding me ?!" The octave of the voice rose slightly. I 'm disappointed. Feel the built -in hope, shattered. It's not funny for me. I look straight at her`s face. She's looked confident.
Continuing ..