Charlotte-Anne trails off, looking behind me. I feel a hand jerk me to face the Baron. I turn to find him within an inch of my face. He plants yet another long, vile kiss.
"I am going to make the rounds. Don't miss me too much." He says with a wink. What makes him think he is so amazing? He rubs his chest unconsciously as if in pain.
"Are you okay?" I regret the question before it leaves my mouth.
"Of course. Nothing can hurt me." He proclaims. "What a good little wife to worry about her husband." He uses this as an excuse for another 'passionate' kiss. I hold back my desire to bite back, and break skin.
Once he has left and is out of my sight, I take a napkin and wipe my mouth.
"Charlotte I am sorry you have to see that." What kind of man acts that way in front of his children?
"I am sorry you have to do that." Was her retort that gave me a smile. "I am going to sneak sometime with my brother, if you excuse me." She stands and goes to Étienne. They whisper to each other with a bond I can't understand. I wish to be with them but know it isn't my place. I turn away before I get caught staring.
I scan the crowd for any familiar faces. The only one I see is that of my father. He is seated below us and is in deep discussion with those around him. I can only assume he has made more allies of business. At least there is a bright side to this day.
Someone grabs my shoulders from behind hugging me. I jump. "What are you thinking?" I recognize Charlotte-Anne's voice.
"My father seems to be enjoying himself. Are you already done talking to your brother?" She flops down on the seat next to me.
"Yes, I have to share him tonight." She says with a sigh.
"Well you are welcome to have me all to yourself." I joke.
"Don't give me ideas. I might steal you from my father, and never let him see you again. I always wanted a sister that I can share everything with." I chuckle.
"Now you have a stepmother for the same role."
"Well you are my favorite one." It is depressing how it is a compliment to be a favorite stepmother. "How old are you? You seem my age."
"That is because I am. I turned 18 a month ago." Her eyes widen.
"You are only a year older than me?" I nod and she shakes her head. "All the women before have at least been in their twenties." I don't know how to respond. I agree with her disbelieve. The age gap is too big. She sighs.
"I need some fresh air, and to powder my nose. Can you come with me?"
"I would be delighted." We link arms and wonder out of the hall into the corridor. She leads the way through the maze. As we pass various door, she explains what lies beyond. There are many apartments for officials along with a library, the kitchens, and council rooms.
She stops before a door and asks, "Can you wait out here?"
"Take your time." She slips in, and I wait without a second thought.
I think about what will happen when the festivities die? Can I handle it? Do I really have a choice? I am going to have to follow the Baron's lead, and I am sure he doesn't want to wait for anything.
"Camille, can you come in for a minute?" Charlotte-Anne breaks my reflections. I open the door to find Charlotte-Anne with someone else. Étienne. I look between the two, trying to understand.
"You need to talk together. Come out when you're ready." Does she know about our feelings? What about my marriage to her father? I try to stop her, but she has already closed the door before I can. Étienne grabs my arm to stop me. I turn around, not prepared for this conversation.
"Charlotte told me you aren't ready your wedding night." He keeps ahold of my upper arm but he is awkward. He looks above my head, avoiding my eyes.
"I don't think I will ever be ready." Please don't have this be what Charlotte wants us to talk about. I can't talk about intimate life with his father when I feel this way.
"Did your mother explain to you about a wedding night entails?"
"No, she was a little distracted, but I have friends who have told me." I rush the last part. I know enough, and don't want to hear him explain anything of this nature. Part of me whispers that I would rather have him show me. I flush at the wicked thought.
"Okay, but I need to warn you the Baron is known for his particular tastes. He has never been without women to satisfy him. He can be rough. Try not to cry or make a lot of noise. It will make him worse. Just be submissive." He spits the word tastes with disgust. He glances down at me, seeing if I understand. There is a gentleness, a goodness in his regard that I crave.
"Thanks for the warning." He steps past me to leave. I don't want him to go.
"Why did you leave before dawn?" The question on my tongue runs away before I can stop it. I know what he had said, but I need to hear his rational from his lips. I feel like there was something more.
"You wouldn't have come anyway."
"Who are you do decide that?" He turns to face me, confused. I try to hide my frustration with him by burying my face in my hand. "I couldn't sleep all that night trying to choose. Eventually I settled on a compromise. You had 3 questions to answer and I would have followed you."
"You came down?" He leans towards me, anticipation and hope in his eyes.
"Yes, but you were already gone." My eyes fill at the memory, but I refuse to break again.
"What were you going to ask?"
"Your title, if your title would come between us, and if you would still protect my family if we couldn't marry." He stares at me.
"You would have left with me?"
"I was ready to." His jaw clenches, and he swallows. His hands ball into fists. "Did you realize that I was engaged to your father?"
"No, I thought his last wife was still alive."
Knowing his feelings, I reach between my stays and shift, pulling out his letter with the handkerchief. "What is done is done. I have a souvenir from that perfect night. I think it is only fair I give you one as well." I stretch out the handkerchief. "This the project I finished on that fateful day when I fell in love. Keep it to remember what almost was."
He stares at it before encasing my hand in his. "You love me?" That is all he got from my speech?
I fight my smile by biting my lower lip. He is like a child, full of innocent trust and hope. I know that this demeanor is reserved for me, making this conversation all the more difficult. "I told you we didn't have to pretend, but as you noted I am someone who keeps their promises."
"You don't hate me for leaving?"
"We had no agreement. You even said before how every woman has used you. When you left, I realized that I had done the same. I had used you to escape my pain and fear. It would be unfair for me to use you to run away as well. I hope you find someone who won't hurt you." I give him a weak smile and pat his shoulder. He remains silent, digesting my words. I brush past him as I leave the room, returning to my wedding feast.
Charlotte links her arm with mine. "Sorry, but I was worried for you tonight. It would have been better with one of the sisters-in-laws, but they are both gone. Étienne is the next best thing." I am touched by her concern but am red from embarrassment.
"Charlotte, has Étienne ever even been with a woman?" I rub my face with my free hand. I try to help her see the flaw in her logic.
"Well no… oh. Well at least he could warn you about our father." She realizes that he wouldn't have had much advice to give me. "Was it bad?"
"It was fine, just a normal traumatizing conversation. I have had friends marry before so I knew everything, he could tell me. With that said, thank you for your concern. It helps with everything else."
"Good. You are my family now. I have to protect you anyway I can."
"That applies to you as well. I am here for you." It is strange how such a strong and natural bond can be formed in such few short hours. We continue our chat in joy back to the feast being held for me.
I am grateful that Charlotte hasn't realized I am the girl her brother loves and that I love him. I don't want to put her in an unbearable situation.