I lean into Étienne, unsure of what to say or do. I want to rely on him, but I am afraid that I will be shattered further. I don't think I can handle it.
I pull back to look into his eyes. He bores holes into my soul. Like before he can see past every attempt I make to hide. He cups my face with one hand.
"You didn't judge my cowardice when I ran away from you and my offer. I won't judge you." Something so primal, I feel it in my bones, says that I can show him how broken I am, and he will heal me. I give a small nod, unsure of where to start my tale.
I feel light as I am lifted and carried. Étienne brings me back to the couch, sitting down, and pulling me onto his lap. I am startled by his actions but decide to follow my instinct and trust him.
"I wish I had never received that letter." I lay my head against his shoulder. Tears that I have been suppressing for hours flood out. He keeps me close in a tight hug, caressing my hair.
"I didn't want to marry him, but I didn't want to see him die." I manage between sobs. "He didn't listen to me and kept touching and kissing me. I begged him to stop." My weeping becomes violent. He doesn't ask any questions, letting me handle it at my own pace.
I don't try to explain further, expressing my emotions without words. I wrap my arms around his waist, as he holds my shoulders. I relive the night remembering the feeling of the Baron against me, but it becomes less oppressive as Étienne fills the cracks of my heart. He doesn't do anything in particular to fill them; he just holds me. Finally, my tears subside.
There is a gentle pressure against my forehead, and he murmurs "Nothing can hurt you here. I won't let anything else happen to you."
I look up into his deep dark eyes. I debate being honest and telling him my doubt in his abilities. He has promised me the world before and disappeared into the night. I remember his words of self-deprecation throughout the day. Saying such things will hurt him and I know that there was no binding promise made; only an ill-advised plot planned in the euphoria of love at first sight. In truth I don't blame him, but that doesn't change the hurt.
"I am sorry. I should have don't more." He wipes away the tears with his thumb.
"What could you have done. When I told you about the letter you were under the same impression as me, that I would marry someone who was interested in me."
"I could have waited until dawn to know your choice."
"You knew the threat to my family. It was easier to come here with the choice having been taken away." I place my hand on his cheek. I know that I thought the same thing when I got his letter, but he had left thinking it was best for me, and would hurt him less.
"Maybe, but when I saw you in the chapel, I should have objected at the ceremony." He counters.
"That would have only led to chaos. Your father doesn't seem like the forgiving type, and I don't think you brought enough men to oppose him. You would have the same problem if you had tried to last minute kidnap me." He presses his forehead against mine. "What matters is you are here now to support me." I lean against him, choosing to end the argument. I close my eyes and relax. He rocks me back and forth.
There is a creak of the door. It startles me from my daze, but I don't open my eyes.
"Étienne..." Charlotte starts.
"Shh… Camille is asleep." He says in a hushed tone. Even though I am awake, I don't want to correct him. I want to be left alone in his arms.
"The maids will be up in a minute. You better put her in my bed." Charlotte suggests. I feel Étienne shift under me, and me body being lifted for the second time. He walks around and trying to keep me as tranquil as possible. He gingerly places me on the bed. I feel the warmth of the cover come over me.
"You love Camille." Charlotte burst out in shock. I can imagine her face with eyes wide open.
"What?" Étienne remains calm under his sister's accusation.
"The girl you told me about is Camille?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Please, the way you look at her. I have never seen you look at a girl like that. Why didn't you say something earlier?" I feel a pressure as the mattress dips beside me.
"What could I have said? She was marring the Baron." He sounds defeated.
"Anything. When we were talking earlier, I mentioned what you had told me. I am sure she knew I was referring to her."
"You promised to keep it a secret!" I can see Charlotte pouting in my mind. He sighs. "It isn't a problem. She knows how I feel about her."
"Wait, oh no. I am sorry I pushed you to talk to her about… well you know. That must have been awful."
"It was oaky. I warned her about the Baron, and we had a good discussion about what had happened between us."
"What did you leave out when we talked?" She must know her brother is skirting something.
"When I told you about her, I omitted the part where I offered to take her with me but ran away."
"You did what?" Charlotte's voice rings with indignation.
"Shh... don't wake he up. I thought she wouldn't come with me."
"What did she say when you talked?"
"That she was going to come if I had answered 3 questions."
"Getting you to talk about this is like pulling teeth! Just tell me what happened." Charlotte sounds exasperated.
"I offered to sneak off with her, after we kissed. I knew she was worried about her family, so I figured with the threat against them she wouldn't leave. We had agreed to meet at dawn if she was coming. I left early." I feel his warm fingers slide down the side of my face. "Despite my prediction she had come down with three questions. She said she wanted to know my title, if my title would come between us, and if I would protect her family no matter what."
"Now don't you feel bad for assuming." Charlotte chastises him.
"If I could I would change it." His voice chokes.
"Did you answer her questions this afternoon?"
"I was too shocked when she posed them."
"What would you have told her?"
"That I am a Marquis, I wouldn't let anything but her will come between us, and I would do anything to protect her family no matter what." My heart squeezes at his words.
"Are you sure that you can marry her? It is frowned upon for a son to marry his stepmother."
"Their marriage wasn't consummated, therefor in the eyes of the law she isn't my stepmother."
"Did she tell you that they didn't seal the marriage?"
"No but looking at the scene there was no sign of it. Even if it had happened, I would love her." Again, he caresses my face. Part of me rejoices at his words, but I fear that I am not ready for love. My emotions have been too unstable these recent days.
"How did she get you so devoted in one night?"
"She was herself."
There is a knock at the door, and the depression in the bed suddenly disappears. The sound of footsteps is followed by the creak of the door. "You can place them on the table." Were the only words uttered before the door closes again.
"Étienne, you should go to your room and sleep some."
"I promised not to let Camille out of my sight."
"How do you plan on accomplishing that?"
"Staying in your room with both of you."
Charlotte heaves a sigh. "Fine but you need to go get a cot, and I am not running this errand for you."
He chuckles. "You caught on to my trick." The door closes.
I feel a pressure on the bed again. I start to move a little, like I am waking up.
"Camille just get up. You might have fooled my brother, but not me." I sit up.
"Sorry, I didn't plan on eavesdropping." She beams back at me.
"I wanted you to hear that. What do you feel for him?" I look down, embarrassed at her straightforwardness.
"I feel save with him, but I don't know more than that."
"That is fair. Come eat." She gestures to the plate that the maid's brought.
I scarf my bread and cheese and gulp my sleeping concoction. Charlotte lets me do so in silence.
Once I finish she says, "Camille, if you ever want to talk about what happened know I am here. I am aware that Étienne sent me to get the robe to protect me, but I know more than I let on. Also, if that brother of mine hurts you again tell me directly. I won't let him get away with it."
"Thank you." Her words bring a smile to my lips with a little snicker. With a full belly I climb into bed and drift off to sleep before Étienne returns.