Alex was my classmate in highschool. The sunny, sporty boy of our class. My first crush. I secretly stole glances at him during classes, laughed at his lame jockes, made efforts to talk to him, shared my homework with him, cheered for him during football match...every crush story stuff.
That morning Alex was waiting for me beside the class entrance.
"Nidhy, wait a moment " He whispers. I raised my eyebrows at him. He holds my hand and again whispers in a rush,. " Nidhy,...I like you. You don't have to answer now, but by the evening. I will wait for you by the bench near the schoolgate. okay...?"
My eyes goes wide with shock and I stand frozen. He takes in my stony state and lightly squeezes my hand urging for a reaction. I give him a stiff nod and pulls my hand back from his grip. He turns and leaves from the entrance and I get to my usual seat beside the window all flustered.
During classes I watched him from the corner of my eye, wondering if it was all real. The time he caught my eye, he smiled ever so softly and my breath hitched. The day went in a flash and I walked to the schoolgate, pinching myself .
Alex stood leaning on tree behind the bench. I willed myself to stand before him and meet his eye.
" so, what,..do you say ?" he asked.
I revised the words I made up to accept his confession, for the nth time since morning. I took a deep breath, told myself to go for it, smiled at the thought.....
But there came a stiffled laugh from behind the tree. "shush...let's hear it " Somebody said. I saw his face twitch and he fiddled with his hands not meeting my eye. And I knew, this was something else.
" Alex, let's not waste our time in meaningless pursuits, when we are supposed to be learning. Its a no. Bye."
I forced my voice to be clean, without any fluctuations and dumped my feelings at some dark valley down my heart. Then came roars of laughter from behind the tree and a few boys came out. Alex joined them and explained it was all a prank.
I feigned the surprise, laughed it off, hugged him and parted ways. But that was also the day I clamped down my feelings never to be let out, for anyone.