You do know that feeling of getting your favorite toy after so many months of pleading for it. I know you know that feeling.
Now imagine the feeling you have when your favorite toy is given to you after a long period of waiting. But is taken away in that very moment.
That's the same feeling I had when a certain pair of hands pulled me to his rock hard chest, grabbed me in his hands and carried me away from the road.
I looked up to see a familiar pair of Brown eyes boring into me with hatred or maybe concern. I chose hatred as the domineering emotion in his eyes because that's the only thing a normal and sane person would feel for me. I was trash why should he be concerned about me. Why didn't he simply let me die? Why!
"Are you OK, " he asked tilting my head up so I could meet his gaze and stare into those breathtaking eyes of his with his long eyelashes and perfect shaven brows he was perfect.
But then it didn't take away the fact that I was furious with him. It was sad that he thought pulling me out of the road was saving me when on the contrary he just killed me.
I was mad! I was angry! I was past upset! how dare him take my gift away from me, how dare him save me without my consent?
Did I ask for his help? How dare him?
For the first time I was going to get my long awaited Christmas gift and then he took it away from me in a blink of an eye. How dare him!
I was finally going to be free from pain. I was finally going to get an answer to all my questions. He just took it all away from me in a blink of an eye.
How dare him take the gift mother earth so lovingly gave me out of pity. How dare him take death away from me. I hate him. He should not have saved me. He should have minded his goddamn business! I wasn't his business! I wasn't.
The fool just brought back pain to me!
"How dare you push me of the road without my consent or do you think that I am blind? Do you think that I do not know how to cross the road? Are you stupid? Why can't you just learn to mind your own goddamn business? Must you be so nosy and so annoying? Did I ask you to save me!" I yelled.
I was shaking so much from the anger, so much so I felt like I would collapse but his hands steadied me.
My heart was beating so fast and sweat dripped down my face. I was visibly pespirating.
It was his fault. The goddamn bastard. How dare him do this to me. I couldn't understand why he couldn't just let me be and mind his business.
"It didn't look like you knew how to cross the road. You were running into a goddamn bus! Do you want to die? Is that it?" he yelled back.
He was furious, why was he furious. Who was he? why does he care?
However, I didn't want these questions answered I didn't care for the answers to them.
I looked down to the floor where I should have been lying peacefully and dead. The floor where my blood was supposed to be splattered on, only if Adam knew how to mind his goddamn business.
The bastard! Now he has the guts to shout at me. How dare him! I am the one who was offended. He shouldn't be yelling at me, only I have the right to yell.
He has brought pain back and he took my goddamn gift away.
I wanted to scratch his eyeballs out or to kick him in the balls, anything, anything at all that I could do to make him feel the pain that I was feeling, the pain he allowed to linger on in me by saving me.
"Why won't you mind your own goddamn business and stop meddling in my life. Who are you to tell me what to do? Who are you to yell at me? Why the hell did you decide to pick on me today!?What is wrong with you?!" I yelled angrily.
I felt the tears that pricked my eyes flow down my cheeks in reckless abandon and I did nothing to stop the tears as they flowed down. If my soul wasn't free then a part of me should, and if it be my tears then so be it.
"I should be asking you that question! What the hell is wrong with you, do you want to kill yourself? So you wanted to die is that it? Do you know that suicide only gives the pain to someone else? To the people who love you."
"Why don't you think? Goddamn it! I care for you can't you see that? A lot of people care for you. Why do you want to punish us in this way by taking you life?" he asked shaking me.
His grip on my shoulders became tighter as he applied more force to it.
I could feel myself getting weaker and weaker with each word he spoke. If I was not supported by him I was sure to stumble and fall, somehow he knew this. How?
He doesn't care for you. He just wants to prey on your weakness. He wants the cookie but if you are in doubt of what I am telling you, you can give him the cookie and watch him run away. He is lying to you that's what boys do they, lie to you.
Why do you think the schools golden boy will care for a riff raft like you? Common see past his facade. Don't be a fool and useless at the same time. Common. Pain begged me to reason and I did.
"Please can you calm down." He sighed pulling me into his arms.
He was giving me support even when I was being a bitch to him, did that impress me?
No!
That didn't impress me, it just proved one thing to me. He was a Playboy and he wanted only to make Me Fall in love with him so I could be his sex toy. Pain was right why would he hug me If he didn't want that from me? Why did he all of a sudden start coming close to me?
You know I knew what the answer was. It was because he had seen my weakness and now wants to take advantage of it. He must have heard of my weakness and seen me as an easy victim because of it.
Maybe it was even a bet. "The who gets to sleep with the snobbish weirdo."
He's a deceiver.
Yes, all boys are maniacs and perverts Lora, they only want to sleep with you and then break your heart into a thousand pieces. They cannot love you, you cannot be loved!
A thousand pieces.
Maniacs
Heartless
Heartbreakers
All of them the same.
Send him away. Run away from him. He wants to use you. Pain kept repeating and I almost screamed for him to stop.
Even if what pain said wasn't the truth he kept repeating it over and over again till it bore a semblance to the truth.
Sometimes when a lie is continuously repeated it takes the form of a truth.
I suddenly moved away from him like he was infected with the deadly disease Ebola.
"You didn't save me, you killed me. You have no right to tell me that you care! You have no right to care! You are too late, too too late! I have gone past saving. Please stay the hell away from me! I am begging you!" I shouted sobbing hysterically, my nose was clogged with catarrh and my head ached from crying.
He tried to pull me to him but I flinched, "I hate you, stay away from me!" I screamed.
"Ple___
Before he could say another word I turned away running, I ran all the way to my room. I didn't stop running even when my heart threatened to burst out of my chest, I didn't stop running even when i could no longer breath.
I wanted to run till i collapsed.