The only thing that the Government has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in a hole.
On top of that, it has two dependants and they are both nuts!
HOWEVER: effective January 1st, 2019 the penis will now be taxed according to size:
The tax slabs are as follows:
5 - 10 cm. Nuisance Tax 20.00
10 - 20 cm. Privilege Tax 100.00
20 - 25 cm Pole Tax 200.00
25 - 30 cm Luxury Tax 300.00
Males exceeding 30 cm must file capital gains, Those under 10 cm are eligible for a tax refund.
NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION
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Captains last flight
An elderly Captain was on his last trip, and one of the girls took a fancy to him. One thing led to another and they ended up in bed together. After they'd done the deed, she was amazed. She said it was the most wonderful
experience she'd ever had, nothing before had even come close.
The girl asked the captain "Do you think you could do it again?"
"OK", he said, "But I need a bit of recovery time. I'll have a 15 minute sleep while you hold on to my willy. When I wake up we'll do it again."
So she did and they did. It was even better than the first time. "My God", she sighed, "That was incredible. You'll think I'm insatiable but honestly I've never felt anything like it. Please, can we do it again?"
"I'm happy if you're happy", he replied, "But this time I'll need a bit longer. I'll have a hour's sleep while you hold on to my willy. When I wake up we'll do it again."
So she did and again, they did. The girl was in raptures. The first two times had been incredible, the third time - she couldn't find words to describe it. Breathlessly she murmured, "Darling, I know we've done it three times but I also know this is your last flight and I'll probably never see you again. I don't care what you think of me but I just have to ask - Can we do it again one last time?"
"It's a bit much to ask", he replied, "but it is my last flight and I think we both deserve it. I'll tell you what. It's an 8 o'clock call tomorrow morning and it's midnight at the moment. If we go to sleep now we can wake up at 6, have one more delightful experience, then you can get back to your room before anyone else is about. That way, I'll have 6 hour's sleep while you hold on to my willy. When I wake up we'll do it again."
So she did, and six hours later they woke up for the final rapturous encounter, which put the previous three into the shade. She was just about to leave when she said, "Darling, I have to ask. Why did you want me to hold your willy while you were asleep? Does it turn you on?"
"Oh no," he said, "It's just that last time this happened to me, my wallet got stolen."