After being married for twenty years to his lover, a gay man dies. When the funeral arrangements have been set, the widower approaches the undertaker with a peculiar request, "I know we had plans to cremate his body, but will you please chop him up and put him in a extra spicy curry instead?" The undertaker asks, "Why would you want that?" The gay widower replies, "So he will blow my ass out one more time."
----------
Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts go up
Pants go down
Body to body Skin to skin
When its stiff
Stick it in
The Longer its in
The Stronger it gets
It goes in dry And comes out wet
It comes out dripping And starts to sag
Its not what you think...
Its a Teabag
----------
There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy and asked him, "Can I touch it?" He replied, "No way -- you already broke yours off!"
----------
So, you've all probably seen these commercials for the erectile dysfunction drugs. They say a possible side effect could be an erection lasting for four hours, and if that happens, call your doctor. I say, "Hey buddy, if that happens, don't call your doctor, call me!"
-----------
Once upon a time, a doctor performed surgery on a young boy with an eye defect. After the surgery was done, he said to the parents, ""Your son is going to be just fine. We graphed some skin from his scrotum to widen his lid. He should have 20/20 vision when he wakes up." The parents responded, "So his eye is going to be normal?" "Well, like I said, his vision will be normal but he may be a little c*ck-eyed."
----------
A guy hires a hooker and brings her to his hotel. The hooker is in bed ready for action, and the guy starts undressing. The hooker begins to laugh when he drops his boxers and asks, "Who do you think your're going to please with THAT thing?" The guy responds, "Me baby, me!"
----------
A truck driver was driving between towns on a country road when he spotted a gorgeous blonde hitchhiking. He stopped without hesitation and she climbed into the cab showing mountains of cleavage. Two miles further down the road, he got a flat, pulled to the side of the road and got out to inspect the tire. He was fiddling around with the wheel, when the blonde opened the window and shouted down, "Do you want a screwdriver?" The driver replied, all smiles, "Might as well. I can't get this fucking hub cap off."