What is life exactly? Yeah you can come up with scientific terms and all that dumb shit but what's the purpose? Eat, work, shit, eat, sleep, eat, work, shit, eat, sleep. It's literally just a cycle of the same shit every day.
Then there's death. What is it exactly? Do you go to some place in the sky or in the ground? I honestly can't get myself to believe it. I mean to everybody their own. If you want to believe there is some higher power who loves everybody in the world then you do you but all those people who push their "religion" down your throat should just fuck off.
I mean how many contradictories are in the Bible? You say that this "god" loves us all equally? Than why does he "hate" people who are different or love different? You say Jesus died for our sins? Then why when you sin do you go to hell? Having multiple partners for example. Jesus's disciples each had multiple wives. I just don't believe you have to follow the words of some book in order to be a good person.
You do know the Bible was written by man right? And if that wasn't bad enough, it has been re-written and re-written multiple times since by bigoted assholes who used it for their own gain. The one that pisses me off the most is "god hates fags". When people throw the "it says in the Bible that man mustn't lay with another man" shit in my face I just want to castrate them.
You know before it was re-written a million and one times it actually said "man mustn't lay with BOYS" as in it was talking about pedophilia, not sleeping with the same sex and even if it was talking about that I wouldn't want to believe in a god who discriminates even when you arnt hurting anybody.
Enough with religion, now what about parenting? You'll never find parents that'll raise their child exactly the same. Should there be some type of mandatory guideline for raising a child or even having a child? Sure You're brought into this world but some people with the conditions their parents put them in; feel like they should have never been born. Then the parents blame them for their mistake of having them. What type of shit reasoning is that?
When I was 3 my mother died in a house fire. My father was at work like always. I was lucky though. My mother was able to save me before I was burned to death, from what I've heard anyways. I don't exactly remember what happened as I was too young but that doesn't stop the nightmares and flashbacks I get of my mother burning to nothing and my near death experience.
Why don't I get professional help? Well I'll tell you I've definitely tried. However when you have so many things wrong with you it doesn't take long before you get sick of all the counseling appointments and medication that you just say fuck it all and give up on getting better.
You'd think after my mother died that my father would care more about me right? Nope. He still worked all the time no matter how wealthy he was. The only reason he cared enough to get me help was because of my few suicide attempts and my teachers from school becoming "worried" about my attitude.
Im 17 years old and only a year away from legally being able to be on my own but my shitty father apparently had enough and decided to send me away. Where you may ask? A stupid house for "broken boys". How is being around broken people like me suppose to help anything? If anything it should just make things worse right? Well my father doesn't give a shit what I think.
"Neon we're almost there. Try not to be rude and keep that mouth of yours shut so you don't cause problems." Terry my fathers assistant says from beside me as we make our way to my new "home".
"Fuck off terry. I'll shove my lighter down your throat if you try telling me what the fuck to do again." I say while taking out a spliff and lighting it up while blowing the smoke in his face. I would just smoke cigarettes but adding a little marijuana in it really helps take the edge off and you can barely smell it with the tobacco mixing in.
I can see a vein about to burst on Terry's forehead but he doesn't say anything back and to be honest I couldn't give a shit. That fuckface father is always too busy to spend any time with me, let alone come with me to say goodbye when shipping me off to who knows where. Terry is always the one to handle important matters involving me almost like a real father but he's such a annoying vindictive twat that I wouldn't like it even if he was my real father.
We pull up to my new "home" and I can't deny that I like the whole feel of the house. It's big but not overwhelming. It's super cute actually, almost like a over sized log cabin. I look up to the top and see the logged roof stretching into the point with a window in the center. I scan the windows and count 3 floors if you include the window at the very top, probably just the attic though.
Once the car stops I see the front door open and a tall man with slightly short dirty blond hair walks out. He's wearing a white t-shirt and what looks like jeans. It's too far for me to see his features exactly but damn from what I see already he's definitely easy on the eyes.
He looks to be in his late 20's at least, probably around 28? Once he gets closer I notice his deep golden eyes and I'm surprised. Golden eyes are very rare, not as rare as my bright purple ones but still he must of gotten bullied at some point for being a minority. That's why I wear colored contacts to make my eyes brown so nobody notices I'm different. Not that I care what they think but it's too troublesome to deal with the backlash of going anywhere looking "different".
I also have white hair, although it does make me stand out a bit as it's not so common, I can't get myself to hide it since it's a reminder of my mother, the only person who has ever truly loved me or cared for me. I had a few distant family members or friends talk to me about her sometimes as I grew up, and one thing they always mentioned was her beautiful white hair that was almost translucent in the sunlight, which is also the reason I've grown mine out so long.
I smile thinking of what her face must of looked like, for some reason nobody has been able to find any picture of her, or they just haven't shown me.
After going off in thought I'm pulled back to reality pretty harshly when I notice the man is right outside my door that I've yet to open. I can't help from getting sucked into his eyes and admire the strong facial features he has. Damn just looking at his face makes my legs feel like jello. Staying here will be a bit harder than I originally thought.
I open the door once I realized I was staring long enough and get out leisurely while still puffing on my spliff. I see him eye it for a second but it doesn't get rid of the smile on his face. We lock eyes and I can't help from seeing some type of emotion in them, curiosity maybe?
"hello, my names Faze. Welcome to the house" he says while holding up his hand to pat my shoulder. I flinch but don't move letting him rest his hand there but I continue puffing on my spliff to calm my nerves. Well I can't help from being Fazed I think and bite my bottom lip so I don't let out the snicker fighting to come out at my hilarious joke.
My eyes haven't left his making me notice how his eyes slip to my lips for a split second with something flashing in them that I can't quite decipher it was so quick.
"Hey I'm Neon." I reply dropping my eyes to the ground. Which I have to admit is quite weird coming from me. I usually don't act like this unless I'm in bed, my usually personality is quite stand-offish.
I realize I've stood there for too long that my spliff is about to burn my fingers so I bend over and put it out on the ground and head to the front door of the house where I see what looks to be a garbage can. I'm almost there when I see a shadow from the corner of my eye come running towards me at what seems like breakneck speed. I try to step away but I'm too late and a little body with long black hair throws hisself into my chest knocking me to the ground while straddling me.
"Hi!! My name is Casey! You can call me Case or Cas! I likes rainbows and stuffies! Cuddles is my favorites! I loves animals too! Will you take me to the forest to see some? There's lots and lots out there but I can't go alone! What's your name? Do you have a nickname? Why are you here? I hope we can be friends!" He says rattling off a mile a minute. I can tell from my first look at him that's he's either a regressor, a little, or both.
I'm in a bit of shock from being thrown to the ground so I just stare at him while he keeps talking, although with how much he's saying I probably wouldn't be able to get a word in anyways. He's a super cute little thing though. I can't really tell his age but he has to be around mine. He can't be more than 4'7 with long black hair that goes at least half way down his back, so still not as long as mine, and bright pink eyes. He's wearing jean overalls that end in shorts and a pink shirt with pink thigh high socks with bows at the top. Damn he's a cutie.
I snap out of my awe when Faze comes rushing over with a apologetic look. He pulls Casey off me and throws him over his shoulder. He reaches a hand out to me to help me up and I reluctantly take it. He pulls me up and rests his hand on the small of my back, guiding me the rest of the way to the door.
"Sorry about that hun. Some of the boys here are a bit hyper but I'll have another talk with them so they know how to behave." He says apologetically.
"Yeah, whatever. It's fine I guess." I almost say I have a weakness for cute things but I decide to keep that to myself. No way in hell will I be able to live that down once it comes out my mouth. You can't show your weakness in this world or it'll come back to bite you.
"Wait, what about my luggage?" I say while turning around about to go get it out of the car. I notice however that the cars gone and my luggage is sitting on the ground where it used to be. Well fuck you too Terry. Hope you have a nice fucking life. Make sure to kick my asshole father in the balls for me. I'd appreciate it. Thanks.
Making our way through the front door I look around, the inside of the house is even more homely than I originally thought. However it is quite modern with a huge tv mounted on the wall and a long black couch that should fit at least 10 people in the middle of the room facing the tv. There are even bean bag chairs on the side of the couch of a variety of colors.
"The house has 3 floors, however the third is off limits unless specifically told by me it's okay for you to enter. That is your first rule. The second floor has all the bedrooms and the bottom floor has the kitchen, dining room, living room, game room, and my office. We also have a pool and hot tub out back, but please wait until the warmer season to go swimming. The hot tub is okay whenever though.
We try to do most things in a pair or group as each boy here has special circumstances that makes it unsafe to spend too much time alone. Everybody here should be welcoming enough to where you shouldn't feel lonely though.
There are 4 other people living in the house besides me and Casey so I'll introduce you if we run into them. If not than you'll see them at dinner in a few hours and we'll make sure to do introductions then."
Faze had thrown Casey into one of the bean bags while passing the living room and giving me a tour of the house and the rules. Things seem too calm here, too relaxing and comforting. There has to be some type of dark secrets here right? It is a house for "broken boys" anyways.
We make our way through the second floor where at least 10 rooms line the hallway. As we pass one of the rooms I notice it's cracked so I peak in and see a boy probably only slightly bigger than me in size and age, probably around 18, sitting on a bed while reading a book. He has light red hair, almost strawberry blond and black framed glasses. Damn another cutie.
He makes eye contact with me and I notice they're hazel but also kind of dim much like how mine probably look most the time. Something in me kind of wants to make those eyes sparkle but I've never felt that way before so I just shake off the feeling. He gets up and walks towards me.
"Oh I see you've met Erin." Faze says from behind me when Erin comes to stand in the doorway. I notice his hands slightly shaking so I don't make any big moves. Poor thing must have a pretty big case of anxiety. I wonder how he got the courage to walk up to me if he's so bad he starts to shake?
"Hi" He says looking towards the floor with a small voice and red cheeks. I want to reach out and comfort him but I'm not sure he's okay with that, don't want to scare the poor thing.
"Hey, my names Neon" I reply softly trying not to scare him. You're maybe wondering why I'm not a asshole to everybody I'm meeting? Well I am a firm believer of treating people how they deserve to be treated. Or at least to the best of my ability. I'm not going to be a jerk to everybody I meet for no reason. I'm also a switch so although I love being dominated, I can't get rid of my soft spot for what I'd call 'cute helpless creatures'.
"Uhhh, g-gotta g-go to t-the bathroom" He says with a cute stutter and making his way around me towards what I assume is the bathroom. I can't help but stare at his shuffling feet and cute bubble butt. Damn, I wonder what that ass would look like bare. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself calm.
"He's a shy one, he's the last one to come to the house before you. He's still getting a feel for being here so try to understand if he comes off like he's rejecting you... he has some problems he's still working through. I hope you understand" Faze says in a low voice. I look over at the shut bathroom door and shake my head in understanding. I guess everyone has their own story.
"Yeah... okay." I notice Faze making his way down the hall again and I turn to follow him. He shows me the rest of the house. It's big and the game room has pretty much every gaming console I'd want to play on, with a pool table and more bean bags of course.
Nice place I can't help from thinking. As long as they don't make me quit smoking and leave me alone when I want to be left alone it might not be too bad here.
"This is your room. You can arrange it and put your stuff away however you like as long as you keep it sort of tidy. We do our cleaning once a week on Sundays which includes your room and the chores each boy has in the house.
Someone already brought your stuff up so you can relax and unpack. I'll have someone come and get you when dinners ready which should be in a hour. Fins cooking is amazing, I'm sure you'll love it just as much as the rest of us." Faze says from the door of my new room while sending a wink my way.
I nod towards him and he smiles and walks away but leaves my door open. I'd close it but I want to make sure I follow the rules here so I'll have to ask later if it's okay. I might have a 'I don't give a shit' attitude but it's more of a 'I don't care' attitude.
What's the difference you ask? Well a 'I don't give a shit' attitude is when you don't care what other people think and do whatever you want despite the possible consequences. A 'I don't care' attitude is more of not wanting to do anything that'll cause unnecessary trouble because well, it's too much trouble. If keeping a damn door open avoids unnecessary conflict in the future than I'd rather be lazy and just not care.
About a hour later I'm done unpacking and organizing my new room. I'm lost in thought while sitting on my bed staring at my phone when I hear giggles coming from my doorway.
I look over to see two sets of mismatched blue and green eyes staring at me with curiosity shining in them. They are what looks like twin boys that can't be taller than 4'9, just a bit more than Casey and probably the same age. They both have light blond hair that goes to their shoulders.
"Hi! My names Tylor! This is my little twin brother Taylor! He's pretty shy so he doesn't talk much but he's super sweet so make sure not to be mean to him! Okays?" Tylor says while walking into my room and dragging his twin in behind him. His right eye is green while his left eyes is blue, his twin is the exact opposite with a blue eye on the right and green on the left.
"Dinners ready. Da-Faze asked us to come get you! I'd come anyways though since we wanted to meet you!" He chirps with red cheeks. They are both wearing black leggings with lace bottoms but Tylors wearing a long blue shirt and Taylor's wearing a light green one in the same style.
"Okay, I'll follow you down, yeah?" Looking down at the boys I smile while waiting for them to head out so I can follow them.
We make our way towards the dining room that's connected to the kitchen with Tylor rattling on about anything and everything and Taylor sneaking peaks at me through his eyelash's. I don't say anything though because it's too cute and I don't want to scare the precious thing off.
We get to the dining room and I have to admit I smell something heavenly. When we step in I notice a tall man placing dishes onto the table, he's probably in his mid 20's with brown hair and tan skin.
He's very muscular and when he turns around to make eye contact I almost gasp at the deep brown eyes that stare into my soul. Damn every person in this house is fucking sex on legs and I'm not complaining.
"I'm Fin." He says after drying his hands and walking over to me. So he's the one Faze said was an amazing cook? Makes sense with the smell I'm getting from the heavenly looking food spread out along the table.
"Neon" I nod at him hoping he doesn't notice the slight pink coming to my cheeks. He's at least 6'2 so he towers over me, making me feel tiny. He just smirks and nods back while telling the boys to finish setting the table.
After everyone's sat down I watch as they chat casually and eat. I'm able to keep to myself while observing the others a bit more. This is everybody? Doesn't seem too bad..