"Kara-ah, what happen?"
"Kara-ah, are you ok?"
"Kara-ah, please don't do this."
"Oh shut up, Chaerin!" I shouted at her playfully and looked up when she addressed me for the third time.
I forced a fake smile on my face, waving away her outstretched hand that was trying to brush away the strands of hair away from my face. I held up my half-drank soju bottle. "You are my best friend, and what is your job? To comfort your bestie when she is feeling down and not ask questions until she wants to tell you. So it's your obligation to drink with me, so drink!"
We sat together, two tables away from the actual red tent of a small street stall that sold a variety of popular street foods and soju. The bar was far down the street and in the corner, so it was pretty quiet and peaceful. I had arrived first after I speed dial Chaerin in tears. After a couple of minutes of drinking and silence, Chaerin figured something was terribly wrong with my mentality tonight and started on her quest on finding out what exactly happened.
Sighing, Chaerin obliged unwillingly seeing that there was no hope in getting anything out from me yet. She would probably ask later after I digested more alcohol and would spill anything during my intoxication state. Chaerin popped off the cap of her Soju bottle. She took a long drink out of it, watching me watch her drink.
We sat side by side, just drinking from our bottles. I feel her taking a peek at me with a disturbed look on her face once in awhile. I knew she was worried. My current state was rather worrisome. I hardly drank, only on special occasions. Alcohol was expensive afterall.
I use to be a rather active drinker back in the past when my family conditions were much more stable when my father was alive, but alcohol was now luxury I could not afford to splurge.
"Chaerin-ah, thank you for coming here." I watched her warily and took another gulp from my bottle. I was almost finished with my first bottle; but it did nothing for me.
"No problem." Chaerin replied and watched me carefully, she too was almost done with her first bottle. "I don't need to know the details, but will you be ok after this sudden drinking session?" Her voice was tinged with worry.
I smiled appreciatively at her, grateful that she didn't try to pry any further. She doesn't ask questions when it's clear I don't want to answer them and this is why I adore her so much.
With a whispered thanks and an air hug to her, I shrugged, popping open the second bottle and putting my lips to the rim again. "Who knows? My life is absolute crap right now."
"The last time I saw you like this was when your father died..." Chaerin replied in a whisper, following my suit and popping off the cap of her second bottle and chugging it down together with me. Chaerin hardly drinks. But for tonight, she willingly drank just to keep me accompany and I appreciated that.
I laughed bitterly, talking another long chug. I gasp in satisfaction when I swallowed; the alcohol felt good and somehow calmed my frenzied nerves. "Do you think I am pitiful?"
"Somehow," she answered truthfully. "You work two jobs and struggle between school and work all the time. You never get enough sleep. Your brothers are just lazy ungrateful brats who just sit their ass at home and enjoy life while you work your butt off. So yeah, in a way you are pitiful. Pitiful but admirable."
"And if I told you that I caught Donghae cheating on me today with Jang Hyerin and he left me wailing to the fucking world's end awhile I was sprawled on the dirty street floor, would you consider me anymore pitiful than I already am?" I took another painfully long drag of soju after I completed my confession of why I was so upset. The alcohol seared my throat and bubbled in my stomach.
Chaerin stood up dramatically, her chair falling over from her sudden movement and the table shook. I caught one of the bottles before it toppled over the floor and my eyes moved towards her. She no longer had the disturbed and worrisome look on her face, instead she looked scary with her eyebrows crumpled together in a frown and her eyes thirsty with vengeance.
"That fucking bastard, I am going to kill him!" She declared dramatically.
I grabbed her before she got the chance to leave and forced her to sit down. It was always Chaerin's style to over react to everything, she was the protective type of friend. "Yah. Who I am the one getting dumped, so why are you so angry for? Chill and accompany me." I held out the bottles and she followed my suit hesitantly.
We cheered and drank together. I slammed my emptied bottle down and reached for another one. Chaerin's face was starting to get increasingly red from the liquor, she wasn't a very good drinker.
"I will be fine, don't worry. I am the tough cookie, remember? I am the one who cheer you up all the time." I reassured her.
"Yeah but that stupid Donghae! I am going to kill him and that bratty bitch Hyerin when I go to school on Monday, I swear by it!" She growled and pouted, placing her elbows down on the table and resting her chin on her hands. "I can't believe he did that though, he was so... sweet..."
I said nothing and continue chugging down my drink like a fish out of water. I had to. Just hearing Donghae's name sparked so many nerves in my mind. No matter how fast I drank, I just couldn't shake it out of my mind. It was like a thorn had stabbed me and I needed special tweezers to get them out.
Truthfully, I knew what I was getting myself into when I got into a relationship with Donghae. Our status in social class were too different. He was the rich man's son awhile I was born into a debt-ridden family. I should have realized what was going on when Donghae profusely refused to introduce me to his family – there was no way that his family would accept me.
But having paranoid thoughts and actually realizing that they were the harsh truth was different. Donghae always assured me that we will always be together, that he would continue on a relationship with me regardless of what his family said.
I trusted him and he betrayed me.
I was such a naive idiot.
"Yah." Chaerin frowned and grabbed the bottle out from my grasp forcefully. She took a swing of it and looked at me. "Don't be upset. Be strong!" She cheered and made a funny smile, giving me an encouraging thumb up.
The corners of my lips wanted to push up into a smile, but I couldn't. Even after Chaerin's constant cheering, I was still upset and bothered. She pouted cutely when she saw my expressionless face, bracing her elbows on the bar's counter top.
I sighed and rested my head on the bar, "Chaerin-ah. If you had a chance to change your life, would you?"
"Hmm, depends." She took her soju bottle and pointed it at me. "It really depends. I would ask myself if I would happier if things were to change in my life?"
"What if you don't know?" I countered quickly, staring at her with wide eyes.
"Hmm..." Chaerin hummed and rubbed her chin like she was thinking hard. Then a light lit up in a blank eyes and she snapped her fingers. "Then, I would ask myself if I am contented with my life now! If you're not contented with your current life, then why not give it a shot at change? I mean, you got nothing to lose right? It's a gamble really."
I smiled softly and reached out to grab my stolen soju bottle. I took another large gulp before setting it down to wipe my chin. Chaerin watched me like a hawk, narrowing her eyes. "Why? Did something change in your life apart from Donghae? Don't tell me you're going to fly to another country and live there! Or did you meet some rich guy and he proposed to you?!" Chaerin gasped dramatically, her hands covering her oval shaped mouth. I could tell her self-proclaimed gold digging senses were tingling in excitement.
If only she knew how very right she was.