every kid in his life have a dream,they wanna get rich they want cars,girlfriends caring family and a perfect life and so did I.
I was 8 when i had first thought of real good friends with whom i can spend time be bench partners with and eat up my lunch with them, I m a complicated mixture of being an introvert and extrovert back then i never had friends because i was more interested in my own imaginative world rather then teasing other kids for lack of hospitalities.
It was after this summer the year when i turned 8 I just want someone to be by my side I tried talking to other kids in class but I wasn't a fit for 'em.So I gave up the thought of being with someone.My parents thought I wasn't a bright kid so I was forced into taking extra classes by private tutors that is where i met some other kids into the same parental thoughts anyways it worked for me because thats where i first met this kid (ayush) we were both a like in ways like living in our own fantasies,no troubles in studies,good and quick at learning.We strated riding bicycles out into woods see animals bacially foxes and other similar animals.Just two kids with thousand of ideas virtually and always an appetite for adventure but this friendship wasn't so destined as my friend left and got real friends as he grabbed the concepts of fun in real life games like cricket,football and other but I was left alone and I hope for better.
After he left I was neither depressed nor even concerned coz now I know the direction to wander into.I knew that those woods is where I ll feel good i feel breathing.
Being alone for this wild goose hunt with no planning no sense of aim or achivement gave me a wierd sensation of pleasure that even now gives me goosebumps out of excitement.Every day after coming back from my coaching classes i used to head out into woods i befriended some little puppies who my travel companions daily I used to explore a new region and mark up my territory.I was so into the stuff that I used to take heavy breakfast and saved my school lunch for puppies I used to feed and that actually became where I belong.It was so cool I build a grasshouse,placed a roof top of some cartoons that I arrange for here and there water proofed it with I ploysheet I stole for one uncles carshade,it was so childish but after all I was just a child I was happier a lot happier coz it all was dream like a secret place that you go into when having a bad day and now when I think about it I wonder what if I would have followed my friend out of lonelyness how different my life would be today?or what if my friend have actually never left how would that have affected my dreams that I actually managed to live.
My days of adventures were far from over it was one of the best thing that that has ever happened to me coz this is what that taught me how to survive it was during those years when I first learned about loss of loved one,yeah it was over 2 years now and i was in 4th or 5th class I guess my final exams were on head it was my birthday my parents organised some party and i was nervous about it coz I haven't talked to anyone about stuff and I was going crazy so to cheer myself up I went to my safe place into the woods and what I saw was horrible.It shattered my heart into parts my only four friends that meant the world to me were dead,yes I lost my those little puppies who were by then grown up hounds they were beautiful loving caring and trustworthy they were attacked by foxes who tried to demolish the little fort that we build together.I regret not being with them even now it was for the first time i knew what it felt like to loose someone so dear to us.It was nothing less then ever haunting nightmare for me.I fell ill out of sorrow this never ending pain in my heart.
These emotion were meant to haunt me after i was just a kid 10 to burdening himself with the the reason why his pets were dead.
I wonder what if I stopped going into woods when my friend left,might those puppies be still alive?what if I never made the fort.for my own selfishness might those babies be still alive.
I saw in some cartoon that after dead they used to create tomb for them so I did with my babies.
I grew older and more clear in thoughts learned about life but that one major incident still haunt me resulting in my phobia for puppies.I may dare beyond my limits to go to puppies when I m with special people or atleast someone i wanna be with but what if i never lost anyone since then? what if my stories do have after math effects but i do dare this time challenge my fears my phobia irrespective of What if it backfired.
Of all those years nothing have changed i m still me same person as when i was 8 but now i discribe myself as weird instead of complicated mixture of extrovert and introvert but in the end what matters is what if I never gave up on being Friends with other kids in class for all I remember after when my dreamland was shattered i tried to join em all back and be normal but I wasn't accepted in normal world.