At that moment that flash of rage inside Milani burned out supplanting it with shame. She tried to stop, tried to be the stronger individual, and then a trigger snapped when he mentioned her children. Her emotions raced through cold, resentment, and horrified. Milani signed off the discharge papers and stepped towards the gliding doors, her mind advising her to rush back towards Mason. "Jasmine do you think I was overly harsh, I mean I practically wrecked his relationship." Jasmine walked with an entertained expression. It was obvious she enjoyed Milani's outbreak.
"I don't think you were harsh, I mean he had it coming when he called our children bastards. I outta storm after him right now and give him a piece of my mind, but you already took care of that didn't you." Roared jasmine in the background, with a hint of amusement. "Maybe you're right but I feel bad I mean did you notice the expression in his eyes he looked so damaged." Milani said, kissing the top of Romeos forehead. The pair walked down the steps in silence, not daring to speak for the fear of waking up the newborns. Chris and Jasmine went ahead to find the car, leaving Milani at the front gate. She protested at first because she didn't wish to be separated with them. But in the end they resolved it would be much better for her to not walk a lot since she'd just given birth three days ago.
The pearl white kia cadenza cruised down the parking lot, travelling south towards her. Chris definitely had style in everything he chose. His car alone showed that he was a well-taken care of gentleman. Milani could see now he was sitting in the drivers seat with jasmine in the passengers and her little munchkin Alana in a tiny princess car seat. To say Milani was cheesed would be an understatement. She was indeed overwhelmed with affection at the thought of being a family with these people. They were there for her when she broke down, laughed, they were there for her through thick and thin. For that she was beyond grateful.
She couldn't help but shed a tear as she envisioned her and her children along with Chris in a small family home fifteen years from now. Watching as their two charming children play while they held hands on the porch. Milani placed Romeo in his cute toy story car seat, beaming at the thought of a happily ever after. She slipped next to her babies caressing their small cute faces, she watched Chris as he's starting the engine with the push of a button. Milani want to kiss him, caress him and run her fingers through his golden brown hair. But she had to maintain herself sane, well at least until she recovered. The erotic thought creeped up in her thoughts, she shook those dirty minded thoughts aside, forcing her gaze onto the outside window.
By the time they reached their home, noon had fallen engulfing the sky into an elegant blue color. Milani couldn't wait to snuggle up with her babies as she scurried down the path towards Jasmines penthouse. Her shoes slapping against the stone steps that led to the front entrance. The elevator light was on, and the familiar purple glow of the penthouse door made the house feel loving, snug and inviting. "All right lets get theses two little angels to bed then we can give you a proper lunch if that's cool with you Lani." Chris suggested. "Fine with me." She said getting out her spare keys unlocking the door.
"Surprise." A small group containing Marie, Elle, James their old man, a few acquaintances, Elle's daughter Ari and Jasmines girlfriend Dylan yelled as soon as she came in the apartment. "Omg guys you didn't have to do all this." A tear ran its course down Milani's cheek as she glanced around the apartment at all the decorations and food prepared. The celebration continued on throughout the evening, everybody danced, sang, had time to play and watch Romeo and Alana. Milani love them all, she did, it would be a lie if she claimed she didn't appreciate every single person in the room. The accomplishments in her life she'd made prior to the last nine months had changed her into a new confident woman. But her happiness was short lived when she recognized a voice she dreaded all her life. "I must say Milani you made cute babies." Oh how much Milani wanted to crumble at the moment, she preferred to have been invisible and hid away, but she had to be mature and turn around knowing that; that voice, was her mother who was standing right behind her.
"Hello mother." The bitter smell of her favorite perfume lingers in the air, smothering the wholesome love that was in the air. Silence crashed down around the two. She wasn't her mother anymore and she never would've been if her mother had the option. The day she disowned Milani was the day of the divorce. Milani had called her mother crying about how shattered she was, hoping and praying that her mother would for once in her life not act cold towards her own offspring. But instead of being there for Milani her mother cursed at her, calling her a no good bride. That was the day Milani revoked her mother's mom card. Jasmine was beyond lucky, a mother that loved her and supported her every decisions. Milani would've swapped every possession she'd own to have a mother like that. And she meant it. Everything single thing Milani fucking owned, you name it and she would've sold it for a loving mother.
Instead of caring for her daughter like Marie did with Jasmine, Milani's just made her know what a mistake she was. How she was not seductive enough, not attractive enough. How she was not wealthy enough, not clever enough, not beautiful enough, not petite enough, not devious enough, not enough like her. Milani needed a parent throughout her life to be a shelter from the cruelty of life's storm, not a monster in disguise living in their own home. Yes Milani recognized she wasn't a great mom, but she still couldn't find any reason in my heart to loathe her. No matter how much Milani's mother belittled her she could never in her sympathetic heart abandoned her like her mother did to her.
She would inform her how much she hated Milani, that she was nothing but an obnoxious brat. She never claimed she loved her, and never was there when Milani needed her the most, but that was still her mother. So instead of showing the sadness Milani just smiled and pulled out one of her poker-faces.
The corners of her mothers lips fought to fall down into a disgusted expression and the reveal her true self. But she couldn't let that happen, not in front of all these people. "What are you doing here?" Milani asked her mother as she examined her mother who scoffed looking her daughter up and down. "Oh just here to visit my beautiful daughter and her children. Where are those little things, anyway? I do believe how much of an embarrassment you are but I didn't guess you'd cheat. You looked like a loyal lost dog all those years with that ex husband of yours." She had mastered her phony smile over the last twenty-one years, right down to the wrinkles around her eyes to the lines around her mouth. "Get out, Get out now and if I see you here again, you will regret it." Milani could see the shock in her mothers face, the Botox hid it properly but you could still see behind the plastic that there was emotion. "Did you not hear me? I said GET. THE. FUCK. OUT." The room turned silent, with only the two of them staring at each other. Soon the silence became uncomfortable, and her mother glared at her before she spoke.
Heads turn and by the end of Milani's rant, the guest had looks of confusion at all the commotion. Her mother smiled like she was trying to make Milani look like the bad guy that big wide evil grin that marked her so wicked. "Ok, Darling I know you don't mean that but, I still love you and I hope you call me, please if you need anything, and I mean it. Day or night I'm never too busy for you." Milani watched as her back turned, the tears she tried so hard to hold back burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face.
Her walls, the walls that hold her up, the ones she tried so hard to keep up, the ones that made her strong just collapsed. Seeing her mom again just brought back up all the dreadful memories she endured when she was nothing but a child. Marie came rushing towards Milani. Holding her in silence, swaying her trembling body back and forth as tears soaked Marie's chest. Then, eventually, all of their friends were there, patting and rubbing Milani's back saying soothing words. "Hey, Lani...Are you okay?" Her eyes averted to Jasmines worried eyes. "Not really." Jasmine smiled faintly as she led everyone out the house thanking them for a nice welcome home party. "You want to talk about it, honey?" She asked wiping Milani's tears aside with one of her favorite handkerchiefs. "I didn't tell you guys because I didn't want y'all to pity me. I've never had the best life and relationship with my mom." Jasmine sat down next to her best friend indicating that she was all ears. Milani giggles back a tear, preparing herself to tell her best friend her miserable life story. "Well, it all started when I was six years old..."
Flashback 15 years ago
"Mike what the hell are you doing! We aren't supposed to waste money on a fucking Barbie doll for her, we don't have the money." 6-year-old Milani watched in the closet as she shivered from all the yelling her mom was giving her dad. "Settle down Rima she's just a little girl, and it's only one doll. I know we're financially struggling right now but one Barbie doll won't harm us. If you have a problem, get a job yourself." Her dad pulled the closet open and picked her up. "Got you," Milani giggled as her dad turned into the tickle monster. "For fucks sake mike stop playing hide and seek and pay attention I can't stand living in this tiny house anymore. We're living in an abandoned crack house for fucks sake."
Milani peeked up at her mom and saw a scary side of her. Rima looked at her daughter as if she was nothing to her. Rima walked out knowing Mike was paying no mind to her as was too busy giving his daughter kisses. "Papa is mommy ok," Milani struggled to ask while she laughed from all the tickles. He offered her a big cheerful smile. "Always sweetheart."
After that every time her dad was at work her mom would make her life a living hell she would; tell Milani how worthless she was, how she should have never gotten pregnant, that she was sick and tired of living poorly. That she would leave them, she'd make Milani do every single chore at home and when her dad came back from his two jobs, she'd take the credit. Everything went to shit when Milani was thirteen. Her mom had left her father for her boss, he was the CEO of well known company. He worked as the owner of wayward law form, it was like a slap to the face to my father. Milani's father had tried so hard with work, successfully getting them out of the crackhouse and into a small three bedroom home. She left Milani and her dad all alone in their one story home for a man in a mansion. Milani never seen her father crying before, she'd always known him as a carefree and full hearted person. He even stayed positive hoping that Rima would change her mind and come back to him.
But the time they signed off the divorce papers his entire world came tumbling down. "Dad it'll be ok we don't need her in our lives to flourish. Come on, dad please get up," He was drunk, his breath reeked of beer as he stumbled in his daughters hand. He murmured to Milani with painful, red watery eyes, "I'm sorry." Since that night, every day after school she'd come home, and he'd smell like cigarettes and liquor; the way broken people do. For years this continued on until a few months after her sixteenth birthday. Milani couldn't take seeing him like that anymore, so she decided on sending him to a rehabilitation institution.
"Ever since then he refused to communicate with me. They claim he got better and dropped his addiction and left the rehabilitation hospital but they don't know where he went he disappeared." Milani hugged her knees tight to her chest. Jasmine stared at her broken friend, she'd never seen her like this. When Milani got divorced and thrown out her home, she was broken but nothing compared to what she was looking at now.
She placed her palm gently on Milani's shoulder as a token of her comfort, and they looked out through the window into the little garden behind the apartment. "It'll be okay you'll find your dad again, he's gonna love the kids and be proud of you." She kissed the top of her friends head and that's the last thing Milani felt before she fell into a dreamless dream.
"wouaaa wouaaa wu wu wouaaaaaaaaaa Whaaaaaaa!!" Milani jolted up faster than a cat jumping out of icy cold water, every sense urging her to stand. She rushed to her babies forgetting she hadn't put slippers on. Yawning and stretched her arms, Milani picked up Romeo and Alana out of their cribs, walking to the rocking chair. The rocking chair was nothing special to a stranger, It was just an ordinary mid-brown colored wood with small decorations and engravings on there. But it to her it was a marvelous gift from her wonderful new family.
Minutes went by of Milani rocking them back and forth calming down their cries. She couldn't smell anything and she didn't see any pee in their diapers. "Are you guys hungry? You probably are," pulling out her breasts she nourished both of them until they kept fussing. "oowhaaaaa, oowhaaaaa, oowhaaaaa." Milani looked over to Alana's weeping face while Romeo laid there silent watching his baby sister. "Ok baby what's wrong? Do you want me to sing?," Sittings back on the rocking chair Milani singed them a lullaby.
"Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head, close to my heart,
Never to part, baby of mine.
Little one, when you play,
Pay no heed, what they say.
Let your eyes sparkle and shine,
Never a tear, baby of mine.
If they knew all about you,
They'd end up loving you too.
All those same people who scold you,
What they'd give just for the right to hold you.
From your head down to your toes,
You're not much, goodness knows.
But, you're so precious to me,
Sweet as can be, baby of mine."
Milani's tone was smooth, clear, soft yet angelic. Soothing, in a way as she opened her eyes she noticed that her precious children were already asleep. The way Milani's lips lifted upwards, a smile that showed her dimples. Her teeth aligned in a small smile. The warm glow of elation gave off from the look of admiration at the two little angels laying peacefully on top of her. "You have a beautiful voice," A low voice echoed throughout the nursery.
Chris came reluctantly inside, smiling altruistic, with his bright, sanguine face under his fair brown bangs. Milani couldn't help but blush at his comment. "Thank you," He sat down on the carpet right at the foot of the rocking chair. "Where did you learn how to sing," he questioned her.
Evocative, clear edged, briefly recalling, memories stirred as Milani recalled the voice of her father singing to her to sleep every night and every time She got morose.
Flashback 11 years ago
"Daddy does mommy hate me?" The sorrow grew more profound each year ever since the night her mom criticized her over the doll her father brought for her. The sadness flowed through Milani's veins and alleviated her little mind. "No sweetheart she's just furious at herself, it has nothing to do with you baby, now go back to sleep." Wrapping her little body in bed her dad singed her favorite song. It was a lullaby he sang to her whenever she got sad.
"Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head, close to my heart,
Never to part, baby of mine.
Little one, when you play,
Pay no heed, what they say.
Let your eyes sparkle and shine,
Never a tear, baby of mine.
If they knew all about you,
They'd end up loving you too.
All those same people who scold you,
What they'd give just for the right to hold you.
From your head down to your toes,
You're not much, goodness knows.
But, you're so precious to me,
Sweet as can be, baby of mine."
"My dad he used to sing to me every day, when he wasn't drunk off his ass." Slowly and carefully Milani laid Alana down into her crib followed by Romeo. "It was an extremely special lullaby to me because it was rare. Few people sang it to their kids in the films I watched when I was a child. So I wanted to pay homage to the person who made the lullaby and insisted that my father sing me this lullaby and nothing else." A pained laugh slipped her lips as she laid her son in the crib next to his sisters.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your father. You seemed to care for him. But you do have a great voice, it's angelic. You should sing more often." From the corner of her eyes she could see his bright toothy smile. "I'll keep that in mind, anyway goodnight and sleep tight Chris, You've got work in the morning." She strode up to him and kissed the corner of his lips.