I took a step towards the house, finally feeling true strength again, and walked to the house without skipping a beat. I wiped my face of all the tears before finally pushing the door open. Everyone else was already seated at the table. Their heads shot at me, for the first time in a while, my hood and mask were off. I had taken my jacket off at the door.
"I'm going to wash up real quick, you can start eating without me," I explained as I walked upstairs. The first door to the left was the bathroom. I faced all the doorways that I once associated with people. Sadness started to wave over me but I shoved it away.
"I'm going to bring you all back," I whispered as I walked into the bathroom, "Even if it's the last thing I do."
I washed my hands, arms, and face in the sink. I had been covered in dirt between hunting and crashing the truck. I checked my wounds which were scarring up nicely and then decided I had cleaned up the best I could. I walked out from the bathroom and down the steps where Eclipse met me at the bottom.
"I told you to eat," I whispered in a concerning voice.
"Well after your breakdown outside I wanted to see if you were okay," Eclipse answered.
My body language physically changed as I reacted to the words he just said, "I'm fine, I just really miss them."
"No," Eclipse explained, "You were speaking in another language. Over and over, I've never seen anything like it."
I was confused. I don't remember speaking anything in my breakdown.
I shrugged, "I have no idea."
He looked just as confused as me.
"Let's go eat dinner," I urged as I walked past him towards the dining room.
"As long as you promise to talk about that topic later," Eclipse sighed behind me.
"Okay."
--
Cleo laughed, "Wait so you became friends with the person who kidnapped you?"
I nodded.
"Man you really can bring anyone in here and fix them," Gena added before taking a bite of the deer on her plate.
"She's always been the person to bring in the broken and lost and show them the paths to take," Henry explained.
"I never listened to myself though," I added quietly.
"Well you never cared about your future as long as everyone else had a decent life. You have always showed your feelings aside to save others from what you've been dealing with," Eclipse explained.
I nodded, "I never wanted anyone to worry about what I was going through. I never cared about my own issues because I was helping everyone else with their own. And when I wasn't helping people I was trying to save them."
Henry nodded, "You've always been the person to help everyone else before youself."
"You do the same thing when you pray," Eclipse added, "You never pray for yourself."
"Well she shoved her feelings aside so she probably didn't realize she was having issues," Charlotte said.
I continued to eat quietly. They were right so I didn't have need to correct them or butt into the conversation.
"Carla?" Aspen asked.
I snapped out of my own little world and looked right at her.
"Yeah?" I said with a smile.
"Did you really do that?"
I felt like an idiot.
"Do what? I'm sorry I zoned out."
"We were talking about what you did for Carter when Valerie stabbed him," Charlotte explained.
I nodded, "I'd put my life on the line a thousand times to keep my friends safe and alive."
"Did you like Carter?" Aspen asked.
I slowly shut my eyes and reopened them. "Yes," I answered in a slightly pained voice. I missed him and the past tense talking was making it worse.
"That must've killed you," Dylan acknowledged.
I nodded, "Yeah, it really did. Losing almost all my friends like that tore me apart. I gave other people the justice they wished for the same way I wanted."
"So that's why you stepped into the business," Dylan said.
I nodded, "I needed something to keep my thoughts off what happened. I blamed myself for what happened for a while."
"Wait why'd you blame yourself?" Henry concerningly asked.
"I hadn't swore off killing people at that point. I could've ended it in a few seconds. I would've taken just one touch to crush everything inside of him. I could've stopped his brain and heart with just one touch."
Dylan's facial expression went from curiosity to fear.
"I've killed three people in the past year," I added, "So I guess my promise to myself didn't last all that long."
"Who did you kill?" Charlotte asked.
"Gregory, Paulina, and Lincoln," I said, "I'll never forget their names."
"Those are the three who were murdered in town," Eclipse explained, "You're the midnight murderer?"
"I killed Gregory for killing little redhead Layna. I slaughtered Paulina because she drowned her twins in the lake. And I murdered Lincoln for killing his entire family and trying to escape north."
"So you killed people who murdered children," Cleo explained, "That's not that bad."
"I led hundreds of other murderers to their deaths," I added, "I'm not proud of it but you can't change the past."
"So you murdered the murderers?" Eclipse asked.
I nodded.
"They got what was coming for them," Henry added.
"Have I taught you all nothing? We are not to judge people, it's not our job. Punishments aren't for us to decide," I explained in an angered voice.
"Then what are you doing about The Bob in the morning?" Dylan asked, "What were you planning on doing?"
I tensed up.
"Exactly, murder can be justified. And eye for an eye, a life for a life. Is that not in the bible?" Dylan snapped.
"The commandments say not to kill people," Cleo argued.
"Everyone be quiet," I snapped, "You're right Dylan, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. That was directed at things being stolen, not getting revenge on people. Cleo, you've got that rock hard truth right there. The issue I'm having currently is the fact that if I see this person, he's being beaten to a pulp the same way he did with all my friends. And what do I do if he dies from me beating him, or I get stuck in my feelings and purposely kill him? You see, yes I have issues like everyone else. I don't have a plan for this fight. In addition to that, it's my battle to fight and you all aren't allowed to help"
It was silent for a minute or two.
"You're winging a fight to the death with no backup," Eclipse asked quietly.
I shrugged, "To quote Kathy, I don't think death by murderer is going to be the way I die."