I sat on the couch just thinking about this journey I've been on.
First I believed I wasn't good enough.
Then I lost myself in grief.
Then I battled with myself.
And now...
Now I've learned the greatest lesson.
You see, God has given me miraculous gifts. Those in which I use to save people and keep others and myself safe.
My friends had other powers, stronger ones, more stable ones, and overall cooler powers.
I had been stuck with atom manipulation, which back on the island I only knew how to turn rocks to goo pretty much.
It's funny to watch how life plays out. To start to see God's plan in everything. Yeah God gave me the gifts, but those gifts were never to define me. Those gifts were given to me to prove a point to thousands.
Just because you're different doesn't mean you're not worth something. Just because you think you're not important does not mean you're worthless.
Valerie taught me how grief can drive you. It can make you depressed, or insane. However in losing people you need to calm down and grieve. Her mom died so she felt the need to avenge her, the only way she saw to get revenge was to become the most powerful person. In my own blinded rage, I taught myself to take a breath before I do anything. A calming breath to control myself.
I learned that yourself is your worst critic. You judge yourself the worst and it shows once you fall asleep. My nightmares showed me that I am definitely not perfect. I have issues just like everyone else. I cry myself to sleep sometimes. I hate my life sometimes. I'm a semi normal moody teenage girl despite my powers almost all the time. My nightmares gave me fear of losing everyone and if I didn't have them then my friends from my timeline would probably still be alive. I learned that fear doesn't come from God, fear is a liar. Fear changes who you are. How you think. How you react. I learned that spiritual warfare happens all the time. You just have to catch on to it quickly so you don't destroy yourself. Valerie taught me that.
The commander taught me that too much power is a bad thing, and so is not enough.
She had no superhuman abilities but reined power over all those with superhuman abilities. She proved that those in power aren't always honest and when I had to run the community, I strived to be nothing like her.
Same with Valerie.
Carter taught me how to be calm in stressful situations. He called me out when I was being a pain. He taught me how important friendship is. And he taught me how sharing your stresses with friends isn't always a good idea since it creates another stressed person.
Liam taught me that just because you're quiet doesn't mean you're not strong. He taught me that no matter what, you have to take a step back and think before you react to anything.
Madelyn taught me that intelligent people stay quiet. When being criticized, stay quiet. When planning things, stay quiet. Because it's you and God making decisions on what you should do and nobody else's opinion matters.
Kathy taught me how to smile past pain. Kathy taught me how nice you can be even when you've lost your family. She lost her brother and yet smiled and laughed through her days. Kathy taught me that your energy is your own choice; you can choose to be happy or sad.
Nathan taught me that talents are God given. He taught me that you can be more than one thing. You're not just the artist, you're not just the person with powers, you're not just the person who creates tech, and you're not just the funny one. You're unique; you're a mix of all the things that make you, you. He taught me it's important to not just be one thing.
Hannah taught me that even the sweetest, most terrified strangers can be the most heroic. She showed me how important new friends can be. And she taught me how crucial it is to continue to accept people into your group of friends.
Ryder taught me that friends deserve second chances because everyone messes up.
Axel and Gena taught me how kind a stranger can become. And how heroic people can be when they see a stranger in danger.
Sarah and Sage taught me that just because you look mean doesn't mean you are.
Paige taught me how to forgive people.
Cleo taught me that there's nothing wrong in grieving people as long as you don't dwell on your mistakes. She taught me that not everything is my fault and that your decisions have consequences but sometimes it's other people's decisions that create problems. She taught me that I can't control every situation so I should just let the ball roll where it does.
Dylan taught me how blind people can be when morals are blurred.
Aspen and Eclipse taught me how loyal people can be when they look up to you.
Henry taught me that your actions can alter the future.
Charlotte taught me that I need to raise my future children with more manners because she's just a huge brat.
My friends had taught me a lot. As always, God taught me more than any of them could've. God blessed me with friends to help me along but the most important lesson I've learned is that God purposely had Bob kill them.
A lesson that was.
I had to learn my own strength and when you play off of the strength of others, you aren't really strong yourself. God took my friends away so I would rely on Him instead of them. He taught me a valuable lesson in relying and leaning on Him instead of my friends.
Because in the end.
I never needed to worry.
I never needed to fight.
I never needed to run off.
Because God always had my back.
He was always my backup.
And at the end of the story, God wins. And I pray that I'll be on the frontlines, having God's back the same way he did for me at The End Of The Road.