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I've Got A Secret For The Mad. "Discontinued!)

🇬🇧Caitlin15
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Synopsis
Insanity: mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior.
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Chapter 1 - Welcome To My Mind.

My name is Arata Hidou, I am currently sixteen years of age and 164 cm in height. I attend a senior high school academy in Japan, my aspirations for the future include forensics or something to do with numbers since I'm good at math. I'm not very significant in any way apart from my face. Mother always used to tell me I had the face of an angel, even my sister grew to be jealous of how pretty I am. I have a very unique talent called reeling, it was taught to me by my guardian. I have those eyes you can't escape from and a body which is irresistible to both sexes. All I have to do is flash my big green eyes and they fall at my feet. It's easier than catching a dog with two broken legs. I'm the lure on your fishing rod. I'm an accomplice, a betrayer and I've got a secret for the mad.

----------------------------Kasei Academy-------------------------------

"Yo Arata, your looking tired. Too much f*cking?" What an obscene idiot, you're lucky I don't cave your head in. Don't falter give him your smile.

"Nah, I'm busy helping a friend out at the minute. He'd probably die without me." The guy ahead of me placing his dirty scuffed shoes on my desk is my best friend. Akira Koujo, although he doesn't know it, we are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Akira doesn't have a bad bone in his body whereas me, I can't find one that's not rotting. For some reason he decided dying his hair blonde for opening ceremony would attract more women. So far, I haven't seen a single girl even look this way, he just looks like a d*ck.

"You have friends other than me, what a cheater. Can I meet him?" You wouldn't get along with my friends, you wouldn't be able to stand the stench. My friend isn't rotting he's decomposing from he inside out. Your stomachs not strong enough, you can't even stand the smell of your own sh*t idiot.

"My friends a recluse, he never leaves the house so meeting him would be pretty tough. I'm not sure you'd like him anyway." Wow look at the suspicion on his face…maybe I wasn't convincing enough. Akira is the type to get along with everyone, it pisses me off.

"Don't tell me you got yourself a sugar daddy, so you were f*cking last night. Hey, how does your ass feel." Sometimes when he jokes, I want to rip his teeth out. Tickling me and touching me won't make me like you anymore so how about you stop touching what's not yours. Fancy telling the whole class I'm gay, if it's to embarrass me your wasting your breathe.

"Hey Arata, the student guidance counselor is calling for you." Already? Less than an hour and I'm being treated like a terrorist. I wonder if it's a man or a woman? Hopefully a man, women are too troublesome. They care way to f*cking much it's annoying. If it's a guy I just have to smile and if that doesn't work, I'll suck him off. Surely, he'll keep my past quiet then right?

"Roger that." Akira is always glaring at me like he's waiting for something. I know I have a pretty face, but you don't have to stare at me that hard, you might as well thrust your dick in my mouth.

"See ya later Arata, don't make a bad first impression." As if you'd care, no just wave and smile like everything's fine. I can worm my way out of this like I always do. Should I expose my collar bones a bit more, maybe they don't like little boys. Too bad if I'm scrawny, maybe that doesn't match his tastes. My feet hurt, I guess I walked too far last night.

"Ah, it's Arata right? Sit down." Thank god it's a man but he looks way to serious. Is that a ring I see, this is getting worse, surely, he won't f*ck me if he's married. I bet I could show you a better time than your wife.

"How is your first day going?" Better if I wasn't looking at your big greasy face, how repulsive. This guy looks like a melting corpse, it's unsightly. I don't think I can f*ck this dude, I'd rather eat my own sh*t. Your staring too much put on the charm.

"It's going really well. What can I do for you teacher?" Oh, he smiled. So, he's easy to reel in, I see your too gullible to be in this profession. I'm already winning, you don't suspect a thing. Hah, what an idiot.

"Arata, we received a behavior report from your previous school which I found quite concerning. It says here, you beat an older boy over the head with a pipe. He was in a coma for two weeks, but you commented it was self-defense." Uh, this again. I wish I'd never stopped bashing his head in maybe then he wouldn't still be b*tching. Okay, let's play the victim game. Maybe I'll cry, you'll feel obligated to protect me then won't you teacher.

"I was always little and weak, so I was a perfect target for him. When I was putting the cones away after sports, he cornered me in the shed and tried to take me by force. Since, I look like a girl, other boys would try to do it a lot, so I was scared majority of the time. When I saw that pipe resting next to the matts, I was too terrified to think so I picked it up and I hit him with it." Good job, you sounded really innocent there. The tears were a good idea too, look how pitiful that gaze is. This is too easy; someone get me an Oscar.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to pick at old wounds, I understand your situation. You were attacked before in junior high before the incident is that correct?" No, now you've done it. I don't want to remember that assh*le. Picking at old wounds, no your wrong your uncovering dead flesh. Fine, you want to know, I'll let you know.

"I was f*cked by three older jocks from the rugby squad, they told me I was pretty. I was stuck in that storage shed for three hours while they took turns. At least they knew how to share right? I was so full of semen I thought my stomach was going to split in two. After I was rescued, I was sick for a few days, but I recovered and promised myself I would never be a victim again." Yep, I would just attract them instead. Funny how the tables turn isn't it teacher? You have no idea just how much that day changed me for the better, now I get rescued every day.

"I had no idea, I'm very sorry you had to experience that. What happened to the boys who attacked you?" Are these twenty f*cking questions? Are you trying your best to understand me, don't make me laugh you perverted old assh*le? No-one understands me apart from him.

"They were transferred. I didn't press charges I was too afraid." Ha-ha, bullsh*t I didn't press charges because I enjoyed it. Ugh, if I think about it anymore, I just might get horny maybe I should wrap this up.

"Excuse me teacher but I feel a little sick talking about this could I go to the infirmary please?" I love that guilt stricken look on people's faces when they think they've hurt you. It's the fakest sh*t I've ever seen.

"Of course, I understand, would you like me to escort you?" Not unless your going to f*ck me old man.

"I'll be fine, thankyou for your time teacher." Mission accomplished but he'll probably pester me out of sympathy or maybe he'll make sure the other kids don't touch me that would be nice. I won't get scolded when I go home, ah as expected I'm hard. Guess I'll take care of it in the infirmary.

-----------------------Infirmary--------------------------------------

You can probably tell by now but I'm a dignified sadist as well as sociopath. I take what I can and leave you with nothing like a snail who's lost its shell. My personality is darker than most and I always have an inner voice calling out to me. It's my guiding light put there by my guardian so I can blend in to society. I never used to be this way, I used to be a disgusting b*tch whom went into heat every few days or so but I'm better now. Sometimes I pretend I'm in a movie, of course I'm the staring role and the rest of these useless human beings are my extras. If they do a bad job of supporting the main role then they get cut, it's as simple as that.

I'll tell you what everyone likes about me shall I? I'm gay so the girls don't get frightened or cautious when I invite them out on dates, I can listen to them chat sh*t about their crushes all day until they trust me completely. Then, there's the guys. Majority of them won't admit it but when they look at me, they see my lips around their d*ck and my slender little body riding them like a horse. They don't think I see the lust clouding them like an aroma. It's tantalizing because on the outside I'm innocent and frail, people strive to break me and destroy me. Dominance will make any guys head spin whether their f*cking a dude or not. If I had to guess, I've slept with more men than my whole school year combined. Akira knows about majority of them, we used to share a room in junior high until my habits got on his nerves.

As I said I wasn't always like this, there was a time I used to be a victim. My face and body were something I cursed, hated to the depth of despair but he changed me. I found out I was the greatest weapon of all, it didn't matter how many times I bled or got sick. I was always in control, he always used to say feeling sorry for yourself only made the mind weaker. You should feel sorry for the poor guy who looked at you and thought how defenceless you were. How pretty and frail you were, that's the guy you should feel sorry for. Would you look at him now?

This is my daily routine, jacking off in a public place. Whenever I remember my past it just happens, but my guardian told me not to worry about it since it's just a natural biological reaction. Sometimes he helps me which is kind of him. He makes me happy. I learned harshly that family doesn't end in blood, it starts with it.

"Brother?" For f*ck sake she'd back, I'm sick of this whore raining on my parade, I was almost there too. My older sisters name is Aoi Hidou, she's two years older than me meaning she'll be graduating soon. So, I won't have to see her face much longer, I guess I'll have to endure it for now.

"Aoi, what are you doing here?" Looks like her chest got bigger, or she's wearing extra padding. I wonder if she's here for me or the nurse? Who knows anymore?

"I saw my cute little brother going to the infirmary, I just wanted to check you were okay?" Of course, you do. You probably afraid I'll steal your f*ck buddy again. You don't keep tabs on me because you want too you do it because you feel obligated as my family. What a load of sh*t.

"I'm fine my stomach just hurt a little bit." My sister secretly hates me to her bones because I'm much more attractive, I don't have pimples or wrinkles my skin is smoother than satin. Her ex-boyfriend liked my skin a lot.

"That's no good on your first day, should I get you some medicine. I can call mom if you want me too?" That her way of threatened me behind a kind expression. My mom also hates me to her bones, but they still treat me like the baby of the family.

When I told my mom I was gay, she was so distraught she slit her own wrists after beating me within an inch of my life. It wasn't my fault she didn't knock before entering my room, you should have seen mommy's face when she saw that strange man thrusting in and out of her son. It was pretty exciting for a while until she covered the bathroom in blood, she so inconsiderate. Does she not know hard blood is to clean off tiles?

"I'll be fine I just need to rest.", Arata.

"I remember when you used to cry over silly things like this, you were always crying." That little boy died a long time ago, I don't cry very much anymore. I don't like the sticky feeling left on my face; I'd much prefer to watch other people cry just like you sister. I miss when you and I used to have scary dreams, it's too late for you though. You might seem pretty like a china doll but your forgetting the crack in your face. Such a shame.

"I know, but I don't have to cry anymore. I'm staying over at a friend's house tonight, so I won't be home. Could you tell mom for me?" There's that worried look, you'd love nothing more than to beat me to a pulp leaving you with the monster all alone, but I have my own monster to take care of you see.

"Are you staying over at his house again, your always over there. It's creepy." You think I'm disgusting, don't you? If you think so then why can't you just say that? If you knew what occurred in that house you would probably go insane, then we would really be siblings.

"I like it there.", Arata.

"Fine but don't blame me when mom throws a fit." Storming away again, see that's your problem you never face your issues head on. You can't run away from this, I've tried. Sometimes I would run so far, the skin from my soles would rip off. F*ck, she ruined the mood, I guess he'll have to help me finish later.

I'm exhausted and my face hurts from smiling, it's like two hooks in the side of my mouth tearing at the skin just to smile. Why should I have to smile, these people don't understand me. You always tell me to be careful so were not found out but it's tough. This school is a little too dull, it could use some color. Maybe a little red there or what about some black over there.

"Arata, we're going to karaoke are you coming?" Not this dipsh*t again, I can't smile anymore if I do I'll probably rip your tongue out.

"Oi, looks like the other school's come for a fight again. Where's Arata?" Lucky me, looks like I do get to see blood after all. Funnily that's the only time someone other than Akira calls my name, to hurt some else is what I specialize in. This should be fun.

I like luring people into a space of self-confidence, they take one look at me and think I could kill this guy with one punch. Look at his waist it's so small, those wrists would break if they hit me. Don't flatter yourselves f*ckers.

"Hey, Arata that's enough you'll kill him." Your right killing him would be a bother, my guardian calls this hyperviolence. This is when your brain switches into a heightened sense of survival and in order to deal with your threat you must eliminate it which is why I'm smashing this guys face against the floor. Would you look at that he's lost a tooth, lucky guy won't have to smile so often I'm jealous.

"Come on Arata, you won." Shut up Akira, he's still breathing how could I have possibly won? If I don't break him, he'll be very angry at me. Okay, he's not moving anymore that's enough.

"You might be small but you're a f*cking machine man." Praise? That's unusual, I don't know this guy, but he might as well kiss my ass directly instead of rubbing his lips on my pants.

"What the f*ck Arata, you psycho you could have killed the guy. It's a fight for fun not to the death you idiot." Akira your really loud sometimes, I just want to stick two red hot pokers up my ear canals, so I don't have to hear your pathetic f*cking voice.

"My bad, I guess I got carried away. Anyway, see ya." Just slip away without looking back, clean up will be a b*tch. You have to head home before he gets mad. I wonder if he's still mad about last night. It wasn't my fault he wanted to f*ck me, he's always telling other people not to touch me, but he goes ahead and undressed me while I'm sleeping. What a pervert, oh well he'll have to make it up to me, I guess.

His windows are dirty again, does that useless f*ck not clean at all? Jesus he really would die without me, well time to face the music. I wonder if he'll like my uniform, maybe it'll make him hard. Is he into role play I wonder?

"I'm Home." Ugh this place smells like death again, would some refresher kill you?

"Welcome home." Ah, he's still moping maybe he thought I wasn't coming back. Wouldn't that be funny to see him face patrolling the district for me even after I'd thrown him away. No, I couldn't do that too him he's too important to me.

"How is she? Still sleeping?", Arata.

"Of course, she's still sleeping you f*cking little rat. Do you see her waking up anytime soon? Anyway, you put her to sleep so you put her to bed don't leave her laying around the bugs will eat her." Well I guess I can't argue I should take responsibility for my messes. Still, his foul mood isn't any better I wonder if he'll let me sleep over tonight.

"Okay, I'll take care of it. I feel refreshed today should we go hunting?" he's chuckling huh? Maybe I read his mind, we're close enough to know what the others thinking now.

"Are you sure you can take it, the last one almost split you in two?" Aww, he's worried about me.

"I can take it, let's go I'm bored Haruka."