"Eh?", Arata.
"You deaf? I said smash his brains in." That was the moment I knew Haruka had chosen me for his game but at that point murder wasn't something I had in me.
"I-I can't kill him I'll go to prison." Haruka's domineer changed like the flip of a coin, he still talks about how dissatisfied he was.
"You've got to be f*cking kidding me, this guy raped you in this very room and you're going to leave him here? I thought I taught you better Arata." That was the first-time disappointment had hurt so bad, I felt like my heart was being torn.
"I-I'm Sorry, I-I can't kill him." Seeing the way his glared at me I realized what true fear really was and that I had been in a bubble for majority of my life.
"Stop whimpering like a wounded animal, it hurts my ears. It's not a request, look I'll even help you. You see this spot, that's the temple. If you hit him hard enough his head will split like a watermelon." That was the moment colors started returning to my blurry eyes and the blood-stained floor beneath me was soaked in tranquility. Haruka was always good at picking out the best spots.
"Why are you looking at him? Damn would you look at that jaw, he resembles a ventriloquist dummy don't ya think. Did you know if you squeeze the spine at a certain point our jaws will open on command? Should we make him talk?" How could you be so casual, talking about such things should make you sick but your always smiling.
"I-I don't want to hit him anymore." There's one thing Haruka hates most and that's disobedience, I should have just finished the job there and then, but I was weak and afraid. I was pathetic.
"I understand, he's not really a bad kid inside but on the outside he's the biggest assh*le going. Sit down I want to tell you a story." I was frozen in fear still grasping that metal rod like my life depended on it. A story, at this point in time?
"I SAID SIT DOWN." My legs knuckled beneath me seeing the dark breathe exhale from his gaping jaws, in everyday life you would admire this guy. Good looks, brains and a nice body. Only I know the true Haruka.
"Good job. Okay once upon a time a lonely attractive guy started to get bored doing all of the work himself, so he decided to recruit a new member into his exclusive club. The club wasn't your usual club and its members had to be very specific or they would piss the leader off. One day on his way to college he crossed paths with a delinquent young boy with a scary look in his eyes. Immediately it was like a light bulb went off; this is him I said. This is my new member, he looks strong, attractive. But my new member f*cked up when a little rat caught his attention. This little rat had a scent that could attract even the most level headed of people, even I began to follow it. Soon I began to admire the rat for his talent and decided that I didn't need my new member anymore. So, I cracked the rats head until he snapped and broke the new members jaw…It's a good story isn't it I wrote it myself.", Haruka.
"I-I have talent…", Arata. I didn't care about rest of the story; my eyes watched his lips as he said I had talent and immediately I was enthralled with him. So, I had something I was good at, praise me more. I want more.
"You're a little self-centred you know that; I'm wasting my breath on you. Have fun with your dummy." As he stood up and started waking away from me, I felt him take my soul from my body and unconsciously I was grabbing his ankles not to leave me again.
"WAIT! I'll do it okay, I'll hit him again." Haruka was facing away from me but I could see his cheek swell as he grinned widely. I wanted to please him I wanted him to praise me, I wanted him to stay with me.
"Oh? But I thought you said you weren't going to hit him again. Look I get it I was wrong about you, maybe you're not that special after all. Sorry for getting your hopes up little rat." As my eyes switched from Haruka and his underling twitching at my feet, I realized this was his second test and I would have to choose to either be alone or be with Haruka.
"Y-You said the temple, right? All I have to do is hit his temple and he won't hurt me, anymore right?" He nodded enthusiastically encouraging me to lower that rod, he would be so proud of me I thought.
"Ah don't you dare close your eyes rat, your killing him so you have to take responsibility. Don't be weak even if the blood gets in your eyes, I want you to keep them open understood?" I nodded fearfully peeling my eyes wider than they'd ever opened before. I'm killing him. This guy is going to die by my hand, but he never tried to kill me. I don't get it why do I have to kill him?
"Stop b*tching out and do it I have a heavy schedule today." I could see his foot tapping impatiently, he's going to leave me. No, please don't leave me! I took a deep breathe with my eyes open like he told me and lifted the pole above my head. I could feel the adrenaline gushing through my veins, this was it I can't go back after this. He hurt you Arata, this is what he deserves. You're just protecting yourself that's all it is. Hit him nice and hard with one hit and it's finished. Swiftly I pounded the pole down but naturally I closed my eyes to brace for impact, but I didn't feel it hit anything at all.
"Tsk…you little f*cking psycho you were really going to do it. You'll go to jail you know, what were you thinking?" Sweat was dripping from my face and my clothes were collecting dust like an old trinket. Why did you catch it? Isn't this what you wanted?
"B-But Y-You told me to hit him?" Haruka just stood there and laughed at me in hysterics, he really was a lunatic…
"I never told you to do anything, all I did was suggest it. How f*cking gullible are you, were in a school shed that is frequented by students. Do you know how hard it is to get blood off a stone floor, it soaks into the microfibers until the floor dyes idiot. You'll be sent to jail within the day. You little insane f*cker, I'm very surprised." Your surprised? In a good way? Are you going to make me your underling? Can I stay with you?
"W-What do you want from me Haruka?" I remember the dumbfounded look on his face, had he forgotten already why he was pestering me? How is that possible you only told me a few minute ago that I was talented right?
"Good question. Oh…that's right, I wanted to recruit you, but you might be too mentally unstable to join. Looking at you, you probably wouldn't like the club. You shake too much; you whine too much, and you look away from me way too much. Maybe were not as compatible as I thought although you have got a pretty face, that could be useful." My brain matters itched as he dissected me picking out all of the good and bad points, I think we're compatible. I want to stay with Haruka. It was like the pot calling the kettle black, he really did think I was too unstable, had he looked in the mirror?
"Please let me join the club, I'll do anything you like I promise." Haruka sighed at me, it felt like I couldn't say anything right anymore, why is he always looking at me like a sack of rotten meat?
"This isn't girl scouts' rat and I don't make promises I can't keep. AH! What if we did a trial run, then you could show me what you've really got!", Haruka.
"T-Trial? What d-do you want me to do?" It turns out that question sent me down this treacherous path, one I couldn't turn back from. Haruka gave me a kind smile shrouded in secrets and pure evil. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just stopped there and went back to my normal life, but I was a stubborn little rat begging for affection.
"You know like an initiation. If you pass you get to join. I was going to ask if your free on Saturday, but I already know you are. Give me your phone." Without questioning his motive, I fumbled around in my pockets with blood stained hands and handed it over. Sometimes I still here the contact tone ringing inside my skull.
"I'll be in touch rat so keep checking your phone, don't ignore me or I'll get mad. You won't like me when I'm mad." Like before Haruka disappeared into the sun like a lost spirit leaving me covered in fluid and fear, don't go yet. Stay and talk with me a little more. When are you coming back? Are you coming back?
All night I sat in the dark watching my phone like a maniac, begging for him to contact me. My back was sore from my usual beatings so a crept on my side waiting. My father found out about the incident at school and got mad at me again. I wonder what it's like when Haruka gets mad. Surely, he wouldn't get mad at me right if I keep checking my phone. Saturday…. Saturday…Saturday why won't it come sooner?
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"You have black circles under your eyes, been watching too much porn?" Akira always worries about me, he's kind and considerate but he doesn't understand me. I've been through a lot but if I tell him he won't look at me the same ever again. I like the way he looks at me, it's like I'm a precious jewel.
"No, I don't watch that sort of stuff. It's too loud." Ah, there's that look again, I go from a jewel to a burden in two seconds flat. Go back to looking at me like a jewel, I prefer it like that. I'm not strange for not watching porn, I just don't like it. It's fake, it's nothing compared to the real thing, but you wouldn't know that since you're a virgin. I guess I beat you at one thing huh Akira.
"Your strange, every guy our age watches it. I'll introduce you to some clips so don't worry about it." Akira was clumsy and made mistakes, his head was too far in the clouds to notice the eyes glaring at me from every direction. Akira dropped his pen on the train one day and searched the whole carriage to find it. You can't leave me, my protection. Why are you so concerned about a pen, it breaks so easily? You can get a new pen, but you can't get a new me so stay…
I felt defenseless; he'd broken our routine…but that small slither of inferiority served me very well. Look Akira I found your pen, t's right next to my feet. Where did you go? Before I knew it the familiar feeling of heat on my chest broke me from my panic. A pervert? If you're going to touch me then look me in my face, don't play dumb. Your closing your eyes, am I not pretty enough for you. You know what happens when you close your eyes don't you. Your leaving that responsibility out in the open for me to steal. Hey Akira, I found your pen…
"No means no."
"AAHHHHHH. IT HURTS!" Of course, it hurts, there's a pen in your dick. Funny, I was at the perfect level to stick it right in the tip, guess who's pissing blood for the next week. Oh, people are looking, your so loud screaming like an idiot. Wait…what am I doing? This is a public place; I can get caught here. Haruka will get mad at me again.
"Arata, let's go." So, you finally decided to show up? Sometimes I wonder why I need you Akira leaving me there like that, it's your fault that man can't have kids now you assh*le.
"What the hell were you thinking stabbing him with a pen?" Huh? Why are you so angry, I did what I could to make sure he didn't hurt me? You were the one who left me there Akira, take responsibility.
"I had no choice he was going to grope me; you shouldn't have left me there Akira." Yes, good idea, play the victim. Tears! If I cry, he won't be mad at me anymore. Wow, he's looking at me so sympathetically, do you feel responsible now Akira?
"I'm sorry your right, you were only defending yourself. Still, I'm shocked you never used to do those sorts of things." Actually, your right, before I would just let them touch me without uttering a word but Haruka said that no means no. I don't want to be touched by anyone especially lower-class perverts who have nothing better to do than target little boys.
"I guess I got tired of being touched by other people, we're going to be late let's go." Was that you Haruka, did you make me do that? Was that your test? No, that seemed to easy for someone like you, you probably want me to scrape someone skin off until the white meat shows. Let's call that a practice round.
WAIT…Why am I thinking these things? I'm talking like I know everything; who do I think I am? This isn't me; I've been invaded. Well at least I'm not waiting to die anymore, what a waste of time. No, I'm doing it again if I keep talking inside my head Akira will notice. Wait, he can't hear me…I don't have to be afraid to say what I want too anymore. You're a nice cute kid Arata, this isn't you. Come on, who am I kidding Haruka was right maybe I am too mentally unstable talking to myself like this.
"Arata? Your face is pale are you okay?" Dammit, I'm freaking myself out. Snap out of it stop talking, Akira will notice pull yourself together.
"I'm fine, just a little hot. I'll cool down in class." That day I purposely walked the long way around to class so I could cross the shed I'd left my victim in. The squeaky sliding door is also something I hear regularly, who knew such a usual object could have such a big effect on me? Oh, Haruka was right blood does soak into concrete after all. I did that…I made that stain but why does his stain get to stay? Why is mine already gone, that's unfair?
------------------------------------Saturday-------------------------------
That beeping tone rattled my heart as if a deranged child was squeezing it until the tendons snapped, Haruka didn't forget about me. I was so glad. His message detailed a location in the red-light district half a mile from my home. I knew what sort of lust filled acts occurred there, but I went anyway. I felt so out of place, maybe I should have dressed nicer. What sort of test is this?
"Oi rat, stop scuttling around and come here." Ah that rough smooth voice, I've missed it. Haruka had a suit on and his hair slicked back not allowing a single strand to break free, it was a great costume he almost had me fooled there for a second. Happily, I traced after him as his eyes scanned the nearby strip clubs and gay bars. Not once did he look at me which hurt my feelings. I thought he liked eye contact.
"Welcome to the hunting grounds, this is where we'll spend a lot of time. Ya know hunting's not an easy task, it takes patience and charisma so don't rush into it or I'll get mad." That was the first time I'd step foot into Haruka's territory, people would wave and smile at him like nothing was amiss. He had charm, endurance everyone wanted to be around him. But we were very different Haruka and I. People wanted to exploit him for leverage and status while me I was targeted for power and frustration.
"Um…what's are we doing here. I'm underage." I was afraid of being caught, people would take one look at me and know I was a child even though I was 14, kids would still ask me to play with them.
"No sh*t, I have a strategy so just stay calm and play along. If people start noticing you then this was a failure." Haruka treated me like a lab rat, then I finally understood the nickname I wouldn't dare oppose. These people are barely clothed, begging for attachment. Reaching out for someone to satisfy their complex and sexual desires. I don't belong here; I don't want to be touched.
"People are so blind these days, they get confused so easy. Did you know the most dangerous thing the body can sensate is fear? It can break their mind quicker than a hammer or a knife. I'll show you a demonstration." Haruka's words interested me so I watched him go to work. In a flash he targeted a prostitute up ahead, her heels were too high, and her skirt was too tight. She was perfect. Under the level of human sight Haruka rushed up behind the woman and pushed her so hard her neck almost snapped. But what happened next astounded me.
"Oops, are you alright. People should watch where their going." Like a gentleman she helped the woman he'd just thrown to the floor and she stood up and thanked him. Thanked him for scraping her knees, thanked him for breaking her ankle. All because she didn't see who pushed her, but common sense would tell you that there was no other people around her at the time.
"Arata, minds are tricky vessels but if you know how to play them right then you can't possibly lose. You saw how thankful she was even though I was the one who pushed her, in the back of her mind deep down she knows I was responsible but when she spun around to see a handsome stranger helping her up that reason slipped away. Rule one of hunting is to always take the role of the hero do you know why?" I shook my head looking up at him in awe.
"Because everyone loves a hero." That was true but even heroes made mistakes, sometimes that were the greatest villains of all, and I was staring right at one. Haruka was a good teacher and he died down his obscenities when we were outdoors, so people didn't see his true face but mine was there for all to see. Eyes…there's always eyes watching me.
"Okay, were here. Go inside." We arrived outside of a flashy gay bar; I was so stunned by the sexual acts being committed in that place I almost pissed myself but if that's what eh wanted me to do I had no right to refuse so I bravely stepped inside. Haruka's presence was with me the whole time, he also taught me that just because you can't see him doesn't mean he wasn't there.
Immediately, heads turned seeing the ideal little masochist waiting for them with his big green eyes and pink lips, I could tell what they were thinking of doing to me, but publicity was also a very tricky thing. I didn't know what to do or what my test was, I felt like a rat in a maze fumbling around that club looking for him, but he was watching me silently from the shadows. The more flustered I got the more heads turned but the experiment was still ongoing.
"Aren't you a cute one, what's your name." Funny enough the most attractive guy in the club sunk his teeth into me like solemn meat, he sucked me in with his wide smile and seductive glare.
"A-Arata…" Your being too shy, confidence is key in these sorts of situations. No-one wants to break a shy boy, do they? Wait he laughed when I answered, maybe he likes this type.
"So Arata, can I buy you for tonight. You're my ideal type." Ah I was right; I am his type. But wait, where's Haruka, don't tell me he left me in the wolves' den?
"Um…sure but I've never done this type of thing before." Oh, that seemed to reel him in even more, look at the excitement on his face…
"That's great, I can be your first. Shall we go?" I'm being naive, aren't I? I'm going to be raped by this guy and Haruka will let it happen. This is a lesson I'm sure of it.
I was wrong, this is exactly what he wanted from me. Haruka had one type of person he despised most and that was people like him. People who could have whatever they wanted whenever they wanted, people born from silver and gold and yet still blessed with good looks and personalities. Those type of people were the best type to break because they had so much to lose. Haruka told me there's no pity for the rich and even less pity for the weak. But combine the two and you can experience the most exciting sensation you've ever felt.
"Excuse me, did you say you wanted to buy him?" When Haruka arm snaked its way around me my heart jumped for the first time since I bashed that kids' brains in. Your going to fall for it, of course you are.
"Look this kid is pretty expensive and he's mine so if you like I'd settle for a threesome and you can f*ck him as hard as you like. This kids the biggest masochist I've ever seen, even when three strangers raped him, he was crying out in pleasure." No! no! Don't tell him that, he'll think I'm disgusting. He'll never want to touch me I'm dirty.
"I'm intrigued, I'd like to hear those cries." Huh? Wait, he looks excited even more. Is he a sadist? Why are you looking at me like that, I'm dirty?
"My place is not far from here, let's have some fun."