KAZUKI
THE moment I woke up, a bright light coming from the ceiling hurt my eyes forcing me to shut them again.
"Good morning, sunshine," I jolted up when I heard Aki's voice.
"Aki?!" gulat kong ani habang nakatitig sa kanya na nakangising parang baliw ngunit napangiwi din ako sa sakit sabay hawak sa noo ko. "What happened?"
"What happened?" pag-uulit n'ya sa tanong ko habang nakangisi pa rin. "You went into heat. That's what happened," tila may halong inis ang huli nitong sinabi bago ako inabutan ng isang basong tubig at puting pahabang tableta. "Here. Drink this," utos n'ya sa akin at sinunod ko naman siya.
After taking the medicine, Aki took the glass and put it away. He then went back and sat on a plastic chair that was next to me. Doon ko lang napansing nasa kama pala ako.
"Where am I?" I asked weakly.
"In my clinic," tipid n'yang tugon.
"The last thing I remember was… I was attacked by Fujiwara-san. Then he made me sniff something. It was… it was some kind of heat inducing drug and after that…" putol-putol kong saad habang pilit na inaalala ang mga huling nangyari bago ako inatake ng heat ko. "After that, I…" kaagad naman akong napatakip ng bibig kasabay ng pamumula ng buo kong mukha. "Okuda! Where is he?!" taranta kong tanong nang maalala ko na ang mga kaganapan.
"Oh, that guy? I dunno," parang walang pakialam na pakli ni Aki.
"What do you mean that you don't know? He carried me out of the building when things got complicated and—"
"He brought you here, Kicchan. I was surprised myself, too, you know?" putol n'ya sa akin. "He was panting and could barely walk pero nagawa ka pa rin n'yang isugod dito sa kabila ng paghihirap na pinagdadaanan n'ya. He was highly affected by your heat. Even me who have a high tolerance against Omega heats felt the effects, too. It was excruciatingly painful and I felt afraid for the first time. Ha ha!" pagkukwento nito and I was dumbfounded.
"Was it really that bad? My heat?" nag-aalala kong tanong.
"Hmm, let's see. I had to inject myself with three shots of anti-Alpha rut to calm my penis, of course. Then I needed to give you a strong shot to subdue the heat because it was straining your body too much. After that, I had to control Okuda in case he did something ridiculous. I didn't want to have an unplanned threesome, you know? And then—"
"Aki, please be more serious!" mariing singhal ko sa kanya. Fuck, he is way too blunt!
"Ha ha. Sorry. I was trying to make you feel better," tatawa-tawa n'yang paumanhin then I saw the needle marks on his left forearm.
「You said three but why are there five shots on your forearm? Aki, you liar!」Inis kong wari sa isipan at lalo akong na-guilty dahil marami ang nadamay sa nangyari sa akin.
I slightly tilted my head down and let out a dismayed sigh. "I'm so sorry."
"Hey, it wasn't your fault," pagpapalakas n'ya ng loob ko at tinapik ang aking balikat. "I think it's Okuda that you should talk to now."
"I can't," nanlulumo kong angal.
Nagkasalubong naman ang mga kilay ni Aki. "Why?"
"He just ended our physical relationship last night," pagsisiwalat ko.
"Is that really the reason?" hindi kumbinsido nitong tanong while staring at me intently. "Or is it that you've already fallen for him and you can't accept the fact that he just ditched you?" he guessed. "Ikaw ang nag-initiate na maging fuck buddies kayo but you're the one who got hurt in the end."
I twitched in no time and that made Aki smile a little bit. He smiled because he got me right off the hook. Why did everything turn out like this? I thought that if I distanced myself from him, I would be able to prevent myself from being hurt while enjoying the warmth of his body. But in the end, kahit na ano pa ang gawin ko, we couldn't be together.
"Kicchan, stop killing yourself."
"Eh?" I suddenly looked at Aki with my eyes wide open.
"Okuda…" he paused before continuing, "He is your fated pair, right?"
Awtomatiko naman akong napaluha sa kanyang sinabi. "Paano mo nalaman?"
Inayos naman ni Aki ang suot n'yang salamin bago sumagot, "Just a hunch," he said, "from the moment I saw him in your office."
"What? H-how?" naguguluhan kong pakli.
"Ang totoo n'yan, pagpasok ko pa lang sa opisina mo noon ay nakaramdam ako kaagad ng mabigat na aura kaya nalaman ko kaagad na isa siyang Alpha. Malamang hindi mo napansin pero ang lupit ng mga titig n'ya sa akin. It's almost the same to those two male animals that are fighting for the sake of mating. Ganyan na vibes ang nasagap ko mula sa kanya," he further explained. "And I think Okuda himself wasn't aware that he was doing that. Even though he possesses such dominance, his heart is somehow shut. But, you can tell that he's your fated pair, right?"
"Yes," I faintly nodded.
"What was it like…" Aki paused again and briefly averted his eyes away then looked back at me with a blush, "the feeling of meeting your fated pair?" interesado nitong tanong.
"How should I put it? It was all sudden," pagsisimula ko, "When I first met him, I felt weak for no reason. Iniwasan kong makipagkamay sa kanya dahil ayokong magkatotoo ang hinala ko then later that night, I went into heat. It was my body's natural reaction to his smell. I really felt lost when he saw me masturbating while thinking of him violating me. It was the first time that I wanted to feel him inside me even though we barely knew each other. I was… yearning for his dick and it hurt my ego," I said with a sigh before continuing,
"So, when he looked at me with disgust on his face, I was scared. I thought, 'Ah, this guy hates me' and I decided to keep it to myself. I bribed him for two reasons: I just wanted to protect my identity and second, I used the money and reputation issue as an excuse so that I could have sex with him. I am… so fucking lame." Sa mga sandaling iyon ay bumubuhos na ang mga luha ko sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman ko at basta ko na lamang tinakpan ang mukha ko gamit ang dalawa kong kamay at impit na humagulgol ng iyak.
All this time, I was hoping that Okuda would see me not only as his fated pair but someone he would want to spend his life with. I was hoping for an impossible love that I wanted so bad. I was delusional for thinking that he would notice me but in the end… I was not deserving enough to be accepted.
"Kazuki..." For the first time, Aki said my name properly before smiling. "You weren't at fault. Being born as an Omega was not your fault so stop punishing yourself. It was those motherfuckers who pushed you to become an Alpha that should die. Embrace your true self and tell Okuda the truth. Alam kong natatakot ka pero nakakasiguro ako na si Okuda ang magpapalaya sa 'yo sa lahat. Fuck everyone who will judge you if they found out your secret. Ignore them and be happy. Take a break, will you?" Iyon ang pinakamakabuluhang mga katagang sinabi sa akin ni Aki. He's crazy but he knew exactly how I really felt deep inside.
"Thank you, Aki," I exclaimed and hugged him very tight.
"Yeah, sure but don't squeeze me too much. I can't breathe," pabiro pa n'yang turan pero niyakap pa rin n'ya ako pabalik.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
The next day, everyone in the company found out the truth about me and I was fired. They even took my rights and pronounced me as an unemployed Omega. I could no longer acquire any decent jobs and the fact that I have been lying for a long time, I should be put to jail but when they knew my family history they considered to give me a chance.
My subordinates were all sad about the news but I was rather glad when they were sad that I was going away and not because they found out that I was an Omega.
"Shimada-san, hinding-hindi ka namin malilimutan. Para sa 'kin, mahusay ka pa rin maging Alpha ka man o Omega," humahagulgol na wika ni Moriya Hino.
"Thanks for everything. You guys were great subordinates and great people," sabi ko na bahagyang nakangiti.
"Sayang at wala si Okuda. Waah! Bigla na lang siyang nag-AWOL pagkatapos ng insidente. Marahil natakot na siya dahil sa ikinuwento ko sa kanya," umiiyak ring sabat ni Amamiya Chiaki.
"I know," I agreed at malungkot na napatingin sa kanyang puwesto. He didn't come today and there was no excuse letter or anything. I just assumed that maybe he didn't want to see me after what happened yesterday. I totally understand but…
「Are things gonna end like this? I didn't even get the chance to tell him the truth and apologize for using him to satisfy my own ego.」
"Shimada-san, kung sakaling wala ka nang matuluyan at kailangan mo nang suporta, willing akong tanggapin ka sa pamilya namin," Moriya offered.
"Che! Overcrowded na kayo sa barung-baro n'yo! Ang kapal naman ng mukha mong patirahin si Shimada-san doon!" mabilis namang angal ni Amamiya at nagkairingan pa ang dalawa.
"Malinis naman ang bahay namin ah! Medyo may kalumaan na nga lang pero matibay pa 'yon!" depensa naman ni Moriya.
They continued arguing and after packing my things, I said my farewell to them and properly declined Moriya's offer. They cried and cried like little children. Masakit para sa akin na iwanan ang buhay na mayroon ako ngayon at ang mga taong tinuring akong kaibigan but I chose to free myself.
This way, I didn't have to hide anymore. All I have to do from now on is to start living as an Omega and hope that I might fix all these mess I've made. I doubt that he would accept me as his fated pair but in case he doesn't, I wanted to see his face one more time.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
I didn't know Okuda's address but I was happy when Aki told me where he lived. Minsan daw itong dumalaw sa kanyang clinic, the day when the two of them first met and Aki went through the log books and saw his record. He didn't tell me why Okuda went there but he encouraged me to go to Okuda's place no matter what.
It's been two weeks since that day that I was nearly attacked. Nabalitaan ko ding nakulong na si Fujiwara. Serves him right. I still wouldn't forgive him even if he said he's sorry. I'd rather see him rot in jail. Well… for now I can still support myself using my bank savings but soon enough, I will be wondering off the streets. And I still owe Okuda a lot.
Narating ko ang tinutuluyan ni Okuda, or rather his own house? I was amazed to see how big it was because, you see… he only had an average job!
「Sa condo nga lang ako nakatira dati,」medyo inis kong isip-isip and for a moment, natakot akong tumuloy sa balak kong makipagkita sa kanya. It's not that I was expecting he would accept me and let me stay in his house. I mean, it would be great but… I was hoping.
Dala-dala ko na ang mga personal kong gamit dahil balak ko maghanap ng pansamantalang matutuluyan kaya sana ay hindi ma-misinterpret ni Okuda na makikituloy ako dahil lang sa wala na akong trabaho. Before hitting the doorbell, I looked around and noticed his garage that was left open and my jaw dropped nang makita ko ang mamahalin n'yang kotse at big bike na nakaparada sa loob. From the looks of it, mukhang milyones ang halaga ng bawat sasakyan.
"Could it be that I got the wrong address?" Nagsimula akong kabahan at nagdalawang-isip nang tumuloy.
「Was Okuda faking his identity, too?」I thought before gathering all of my courage and pushed the doorbell button.
Pakiramdam ko naman ay hihimatayin ako sa bawat paglipas ng segundo na nakatayo ako dito. I had no fucking idea where to start if Okuda showed up. "What the fuck am I doing? After all those shits, I am the last person that he would want to see," pagbabaka-sakali ko at akmang tatalikod na sana ako para umalis nang bumukas ang pinto.
I instantly felt weak the moment I saw his face. He was surprised to see me and was even puzzled when he saw my things and well… quite ragged look. I pretty lost some weight due to lack of sleep, stress, and improper intake of food. My heat kept coming back and I felt so hopeless that I didn't take my medicines anymore.
"Why are you here?" he asked, glad he didn't sounded mad.
"It's… It's not what you think!" I said on reflex.
"Huh?" he frowned, confused.
"I mean… You didn't show up for two weeks and I was—I mean, THEY!" pasigaw kong pagtatama at napatikhim ako nang mas naguluhan si Okuda sa ikinilos ko. "They were all worried about you. Moriya and the others…?"
"Moriya-san, huh?" tila hindi naniniwalang saad ni Okuda.
"I got fired," paglalahad ko. Okuda's eyes widened. That was expected. I mean, he should've seen it coming too. I clenched my fists at pinilit na lakasan ang loob ko bago ako nagsalitang muli, "They found out that I was an Omega and fired me. They also took my rights and I can no longer apply for any decent jobs," napalunok naman ako nang makitang titig na titig si Okuda sa akin na animo'y hinihintay nitong matapos ako sa pagpapaliwanag. "I'm not here to ask you to let me stay at your place or… or something like that. Well… I'm almost out of money but I was planning to find a new place to stay, a cheaper one to be exact, so… so, uh, I thought… I wanted to let you know." Matapos sabihin ang mga iyon ay mariin na lamang akong napapikit at inis na napasimangot sa sarili kong katangahan.
Hindi siya kumibo kaya inakala ko na baka wala na talaga siyang interes na makipag-usap pa sa akin. Kahit na mabigat sa aking kalooban, pinilit kong magpakawala ng pekeng ngisi na kunwari ay natauhan ako na walang silbi ang pagpapakatangang ginawa ko ngayon. "What the hell am I doing?" I scoffed at nanikip nang husto ang dibdib ko. "Sorry for disturbing you, Okuda. I just… I just wanted to let you know. B-bye," at nagmadali akong tumalikod dahil tuluyan nang bumagsak ang mga luha kong kanina ko pang pinipigilan.
"Is that what you really feel?" bigla n'yang tanong at napaigtad ako at nanigas sa aking kinatatayuan. "Did you really just come here to tell me that you were fired and that you are moving on?"
"It's—"
"Shimada-senpai… No. Kazuki." I jolted when he called me by my given name. To me, it sounded disgusting when Fujiwara was the one saying it but it was totally different when it was Okuda. It made me happy. I slowly looked his way and was shocked to see the hurt expression on his face. "I have no right to apologize to you." aniya sabay kuyom ng kanyang mga kamay. "I have violated you, underestimated you, insulted you, and even used my hatred against Omegas as an excuse to hurt you more. I was no different from those Alphas who acted like shitty bastards," he stated. "And I will not be surprised if you come to hate me. I also thought of walking away and pretend that none of this happened but here you are, standing right at my doorstep."
"Okuda…"
"This may sound so unfair but I'm sorry… and don't go. Stay here with me, Kazuki," he apologized with so much guilt written all over his face.
And just like that, I dropped my things and wrapped my arms around Okuda's neck. He didn't tell me exactly if he already knew that we were fated pairs but the way he held me in his arms put me to ease.
Ah, my neck throbbed again. But this time, it was throbbing because my body was telling me that it only wanted Okuda.
"It's so sweet," Okuda whispered in my ears and his arms wrapped more tightly around my waist and he even sniffed my neck.
"Thanks for not throwing me away," I said while smiling and crying at the same time. Fated or not, I would definitely still choose this man. This feels like a dream!
"And thank you for not giving up on me," he uttered.
The feeling of his lips lightly brushing against the skin of my neck almost made me go into heat again but I was so happy that I paid less attention to it and focused on feeling Okuda's warmth.
「to be continued」