Later that day....
I take a deep breath and open the door. My housekeeper, Mrs. Yan, and the other maids greet me. I anxiously look around but Kate is nowhere to be seen. Mrs. Yan notices this and smiles gently.
Mrs. Yan: Madam is sitting by the pool.
Ashton: Ah, okay..
I smile back awkwardly and head towards the pool. She must've misunderstood, but I can't really blame her; I AM carrying a bouquet of flowers. I don't really know what kind these are. I remember Kate liked the colour red so I got these, they look pretty and I can't get roses because I'm allergic to them.
This was Leah's idea. She thinks that this'll make up for me being an asshole to her and not telling her the truth. I don't know how she'll react though.
She has been lonely all her life; she was always the least favoured child in the Bleu household, she fled overseas with her brother to escape her parents'control but he too left her without notice. I don't know what she went through all those years so I don't want to hurt her anymore.
Hahh, why did this all just hit me? If I knew this offer was on its way, I wouldn't have agreed to the marriage even after the emotional blackmail. I reach the poolside and slide the door open. I spot Kate sitting on one of the chairs with a laptop.
Whatever she's doing, she's really focused. She doesn't notice me until I knock on the glass door behind her. Her shoulders slightly jerk up in surprise before she turns to face me.
Kate: You're back?! Is it already 7?!
Ashton: Quarter to 8 actually.
Kate: Yikes, I can't believe I got so engrossed in doing this..
She mummers to herself and closes her laptop. She walks towards me, smiling and something inside me breaks.... Damn it, I can't do it. I can't tell her yet. Call me a coward but, the expression on her face won't let the words come out.
The audition is next month but I can't delay the news for too long either. I'm about to open my mouth to tell about it when she interrupts me.
Kate: Something smells nice.
Her voice snaps me back to reality and I remember the bouquet I'm hiding behind my back.
Ashton: Huh? Oh, yeah. Here, I got these for you.
Kate: Really? That's-...!
I hold out the flowers to her but instead of taking them, she freezes and her face turns pale. Wh-What? Is she allergic to these or something? I start to become a little nervous, then...
Kate: Why.. Why did you bring these?
She asks me, sounding terrified. Something's off. Throughout the time we dated, Kate always had a knack for flower arrangement; she really liked flowers. Why is she asking this?
Ashton:... Is something wrong?
She glances at me when I say this and her face relaxes. Then, she chuckles elegantly. She has become quite refined over the years, though that's not the point now.
Ashton: Um..?
Kate: You didn't know, did you?
Ashton: Know what?
She points towards the bouquet with a teasing smirk.
Kate: These are chrysanthemums.
..... Eh?
Ashton: A 'chry-santa' what now?
Kate: Chrysanthemums. They are flowers that represent death.
Ashton:...
... WHAT?! Damn it! I can't do one thing right, can I?! The florist didn't even say anything! How was I supposed to know that?! Ugh, I feel like an idiot. I awkwardly scratch my cheek.
Ashton: Uh...
Kate: It's okay.
She smiles and takes the bouquet from my hands. She caresses a few petals before setting it down on a nearby table.
Kate: You know, I've been thinking.
Ashton: Huh?
She turns around to face me again.
Kate: We should go back to the way we used be, it's for the best.
Ashton: What do you mean?
Kate: Like the time we were dating. It'll take time considering the current situation but at least we won't be awkward around each other anymore. This was sure an arranged marriage but, love can come later. We can't spend the rest of our lives like this, can we?
She's right. I feel uneasy around her while we used to get along quite well back then. If we go back to our previous relationship, everything would be easier and... It's the only way I'll be able to forget 'her'.
But if we do have to keep that relationship, I'll have to come clean with her. I finally muster up the courage and come out with it.
Ashton: I have something to tell you.
Kate: Hm?
I explain everything to her and she falls silent. Is she mad? Of course she is, I should've told her about this the day I received the news. We just got married and I'm already making plans to be away for almost a year.
Just when I think she won't say anything, she smiles sadly.
Kate: Then... We'll just have to make the most of the time we have.
Ashton:..!
She wraps around me, pulling me in an embrace. I recall the sadness in her eyes and my heart drops. Kate.. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this. I was away from my family's control for 8 years but she was found and called back in just a year.
I can imagine the amount of pressure she received from her family to get married. She evaded it for 7 years but had to give in eventually. When she did, she was met with such fate. We're both just our families' tools, a medium of exchange, nothing more.
I don't want either of us to continue to consider ourselves that anymore. I will treat you well, I promise. Making a silent vow in my head, I too, hold her tightly...
The next morning..
My alarm wakes me up from my sleep and sit up, rubbing my eyes. I look at the alarm clock and sigh. Do I HAVE to go to the shoot today? The artist that always requests for Troy is attending it which means that I'll have to cross paths with him.
I don't like that guy, he doesn't even take Claire to be a human being.... Why do I care about it anyway? It has nothing to do with me. I shake my head and look to my side. Kate lays there, sleeping peacefully.
She looked much more innocent 7 years ago. And now, whatever she does, there is a touch of elegance in it. Pfft, they polished a stone and made a diamond. I brush her bangs away from her face and she squirms.
She blinks her eyes open. Oops.
Ashton: 'Morning.
Kate: Mmn.. I want sleep some more.
Woah, I just got déja vu. She often did that when we we're dating. No matter how many things have changed, this habit of hers still remains.
Ashton: Heh, once a sleepyhead, always a sleepyhead.
Kate: Hey!
I poke her forehead and she sluggishly gets up. The sheets fall off her shoulders and reveal her bare body.
Ashton:.!!
My first instinct is to turn away but I stop. For how long am I going to keep shying away? As I watch her pout, her eyes half closed, I feel something stir up in my chest. No... I shake off the familiar feeling and get up from the bed.
I start to walk towards my closet when Kate calls out to me.
Kate: Say, Ashton.
Ashton: Hm?
I turn my head to face her to find her staring at my back inquisitively.
Kate: How did you say you got those scars on your back?
Ashton:..!!!
Her question catches me by surprise but I don't let it show on my face. These scars.. They were caused by the man I call 'father'. The scars from the 8 year torture never left my skin. I've been asked about their origin many times and unable to tell them the truth, the answer was always...
Ashton: A hiking accident, why?
Kate:.. Nothing, you just don't look like an outdoor person.
Ashton: Not after THIS.
I shrug and open my closet. I try not to think of those dark years but they find a way to plague me. I will never let these emotions show and make me vulnerable. Never...