Love...
A complicated emotion that always had me confused. Why was it so confusing? Why was it so passionate? Why could it transform an individual to such an uncontrollable state?
I always disliked what I couldn't understand, couldn't control. So I never cared about feelings or romance in general.
That was the ultimate priority of women my age. Meeting someone, dating, falling in love, getting married, having kids. That dream that made every little girl's cheeks scarlet.
I don't know why, but it always sounded extremely boring to me... Matter of fact I always had that feeling, that something in my life was missing. Everything was boring, same job, same routine, same people, same parties...
But that all changed when I met him.
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"Have you ever been in love Reo?" Kanna asked softly, as her hand was caressing Reo's hair, who was laying on the same pillow as her. Face to face, his eyes were closed but she knew he wasn't sleeping. He never slept... Or at least that's what she had noticed.
Waiting for his response, she continued to caress his hair, then slowl continue with his arm. She was obsessed with his tattoos. Especially the flowers and the dragon one.
They had been physical for hours, he had been so passionate, and even though she was feeling extremely sore, she couldn't help but want him again, just by watching him like this... His slow and hot breath on her arm... She didn't wish to be anywhere else.
As she looked up, she then realized, he was looking at her, through his long and dark lashes. Actually he was staring, while softly smirking.
So then she smiled back, before rolling on her back in an attempt to look away. But then he spoke.
"In my world, you don't really want to know much about it... You don't actually need to."
His voice was low, and his tone dark. This man lived a total different life thank her, he saw the world differently, he knew the deep and dark side of men, that's hidden from all of society.
He was still turned to her side, but gazing away, like lost in dark thoughts, that increased her curiosity, so then she turned again to face him. He didn't move. Still on his side facing her.
"So then you've never loved?..." she asked again.
He stayed quiet for a long time. Analyzing her interested gaze. After a few minutes, he rolled on his back. And facing the roof now, he continued.
"I wouldn't know..."
"... well let me help you with that." She said with a smile as she drew closer. And the, , he turned his face again to face her with interest.
"..."
Kanna lifted her left hand slowly before caressing his cheek tenderly, with a soft smile.
"I don't know much about it either... but since I've read a lot of books on the subject, I kind of have a hint."
"Enlighten me..."
She smiled again before going on.
"They say it's when you're the happiest. You enjoy that person's presence... you enjoy every single thing about that person... you couldn't live without them... your heart aches when they are away... they say..."
As she was talking, Kanna noticed her heartbeat fasten... The way he was gazing at her with interest was so beautiful. He was attentive, not even smiling, completely drinking every word she spoke. Captivated by her words.
So then she realized...
She was indeed undeniably falling for this man. There was no going back... And it was definitely not a good idea.
The next second she suddenly stood up. Her naked body still wrapped in the sheets. She picked up a gown laying on the floor and wore it. Her hand on her chest, she was trying to hide the loud heartbeats, but it was so loud that he probably already knew.
As she was in front of the big window, she heard his voice.
"Sounds boring..."
Her heart skipped a beat again. But she turned around and faked a smile.
"Right! I don't get it either."
He didn't smile back. It was obvious he had noticed how weird she was acting. So then he got up. Slowly walked towards her. And as he was facing her, he just stood there staring. Analyzing that look and those reactions... after a few minutes he finally looked away before lighting himself a cigarette.
"You shouldn't." He then said. After he had lit his joint.
Kanna turned slowly his way, her heart slowly sinking, and this time he was facing her, his eyes domineering. It wasn't a suggestion, or even an advice. It was a warning, an order.
"You should never." He, repeated, after releasing the thick smoke of his drug from his beautiful lips.
"What? W-"
"I don't have time for melodramatic and complicated relationships... My world would never welcome you the way you are, it will change and destroy you and your values."
Her chest was moving fast, as she looked away, drinking this rejection with a cold feeling of her expectations drifting away.
He then continued.
"If I become too precious to you, make me know so I'll end this... you do not need to risk your life over something that insignificant..."
Kanna could literally hear the pieces of her broken heart shatter as he was speaking those cruel words to her.
"I enjoy having you... but I cannot give you more than that..."
"I see." She finally said, before slowly walking away.
Reo turned around to watch her as she joined the bathroom. Inside, she removed the gown and opened the boiling shower.
Her eyes closed she was feeling overwhelmingly depressed... realizing how hopeless it was to try to force her way in his heart... Hopeless and pathetic...
But she couldn't let go still. That's why, when she heard the bathroom door open and steps approaching her heart still went crazy.
- And when she could feel his hand brush her wet skin, and turn the hot shower off, it went crazy again.
- And when he finally turned her around and kiss her again and again, it still went crazy. It went crazier after he picked her up and wrapped her legs around his thighs before fucking her, again. He couldn't love but he could give that insane and passionate banging. He could awaken those perverted emotions every time he touched her.
So then they had sex again, slight tears of sadness mixing with the water and sweat sliding off her face. She repeated his name again and again, as she was swallowing all of his passion and movements.
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