Napunta nag tingin ko sa kamay ni Ryan na nasa waist ng babae and nabalik sa kanya, I thought he will be shock or baka naman he will act na hindi niya ako kilala, a casanova does that diba? And isa pa wala kami sa school and wala kami sa party ng grandma ko so why bother na magpakilala siya sakin.
But I'm wrong... He's cold, he has this pitch black eyes again and nakaigting ang panga niya, why is he angry nalang all the time kapag ako? Am I a red cloth and siya ang bull? Tama ba? Because iyan na talaga iisipin ko dahil pinapakita niya palagi na galit siya.
Tsk siya nga ang may kasama na babae eh.
"Babe, do you know them?", and there I thought palagi ko9 nalang siyang nakikita na may kasamang iba't ibang babae psh. Before pa maging awkward sa isasagot niya sa babae niyang kasama, I already hila Josh and plano na lalagpasan sila.
And unexpectedly... Sa isang iglap nung makalagpas na sana kami sa kanila, I was quite shock when Pervy is already in front of me... So iniwan niya ang babae niya? I was about to look for the girl but, "Come with me," and naramdaman ko ang kamay niya sa pulse ko.
We're going sa opposite direction na tatahakin sana namin ni Josh. Oh my goodness! Si Josh! I angrily look at Pervy and pilit na kumawala sa hawak niya, "Hey Pervy! Do you have any respect sa loob mo? Babalikan ko si Josh! Let me go!" sabi ko sa kanya.
Huminto siya and nanlaki ang mga mata ko because kahit di siya tumingin sakin I can feel his coldness na naman, buti nalang di na ako natatakot kay Pervy, slight, "Why? You're mine Julienne! Boyfriend mo 'ko! Ako! So why the fuck are you with him?!", he said pero hindi pa rin humarap sakin which made me angry.
Pinilit kong kumawala sa kanya and I successfully did with all my strength ko ginawa iyon kaya napaharap siya sakin na galit ang mukha but I am more galit, "Did you just cursed at me?! Hoy Ryan! You are NOT my real boyfriend! And why would you care?! Mas kilala ko pa nga si Josh kesa sayo! And FYI, ikaw ang may dalang ibang babae! And then you hawak pa to her waist na parang you won't let her go?! Are you even serious Ryan?!", yes I'm angry! Yes I'm fuming mad!
Hindi ko alam basta galit ako, galit na galit ako! Tumalikod na ako sa kanya and I don't know kasi parang may tutulo na luha galing sa mga mata ko, and even though ganito ako ka angry sa Ryan na iyon, I'm expecting na hahabulin niya ako pero hindi kaya hindi ko na napigilan na umiyak.
I don't know why, I really don't know why. Bull shark, Julienne naman eh.
But naramdaman ko na umangat ako bigla na parang nagfo-float ako and then I realized na si Ryan ang reason because he's lifting me like a sack!
Hindi nalang ako nagsalita because he will know na umiiyak ako and I can't afford to show my side to him because kahit ako hindi ko alam bakit ako ganito. Buti nalang nasa likod ang ulo ko, goodness Julienne. Bakit ganito ako?
_______________
Nasa village na namin kami ni Ryan, nagcommute lang kami because we left his car sa school niya.
We're walking silently and walang nagsasalita since kanina, and good thing tapos na akong umiyak, which is hindi ko alam kung bakit ako naiiyak.
I don't even know kung bakit awkward kami ngayon because first of all, hindi naman kami, and this looks like parang love quarrel. And ikalawa, ano naman ang dapat maging sanhi ng problem namin diba?
Tsk, why would I be angry? Dahil sinabi niya inaya niya ako kanina na magdate tapos dahil ni-reject ko itong Pervy na ito, he will find another girl naman?! Dahil hinawakan niya sa waist iyong girl?! No way! Why would I be angry at that stupid reasons!
"Galit ka pa ba?", napatingin naman ako sa kanya when I heard his malambing voice. So now he wants to make peace na? Why is he so moody kasi!
Nag-sigh ako, "I'm not angry," I said casually and tumingin sa way namin, bakit ang layo pa ng house namin? Geez naman eh!
Napahinto ako sa paglalakad when... When he hold my hand, yes my hand hindi ang pulse ko, and I'm sure na papunta kami sa playground ng village namin. Gusto ko nang umuwi sa house but I guess my prayers aren't answered.
Hindi nalang ako nag-protesta and nakita ko siya na papunta sa taas para mag slide, "Here baby, slide tayo," and he smiles, naging mabuting aso ata si me dahil sumunod ako sa kanya but I'm not saying anything, I don't know why but ayoko muna siyang maka-usap but hindi na ako galit.
I'm having this feeling of... Feeling of wanting to spend time with him, and that bull shark feeling scares me. Nakakatakot pero... Ah bahala na nga!
Tumingin ako sa kanya na parang sinasabi na ako ang ma-una, umupo naman ako and akmang magsa-slide na ako when I felt his hands around my waist and he slide with me. His hands are around my waist!
Napahawak ako sa chest ko, this thing really beats huh. Dahil ba 'to sa slide? Ba't ba kasi mataas ang slide urgh.
When we reach to the bottom na dali dali akong tumayo but I fell back sa slide, nah I fell back kay Ryan, because of his hands... Around my waist. Bull shark. Bull shark!!! Magalit ka Julienne magalit ka please! Kumawala ka please! Pero I'm didn't, nanghihina ako. My stomach is crazy na, parang may rumble sa tiyan ko heck bull shark talaga gusto ko nang umiyak!
Naramdaman ko ang ulo niya sa shoulder ko, "Hmm?", fudge! Why did I sound so.. malambing? Okay Julienne, you're not you na talaga and you are dangerous na, or ikaw ang nasa kapahamakan right now. Right this very moment.
"Sing for me baby, I missed you so bad," it was almost a whisper, a sweet whisper, and I just found myself thinking kung ano ang kakantahin and then started to hum.
"Keep me sane in your arms tonight
hold me close that I might not fall
but I know that we might be destined for life
a tragic flaw of mine...
is running away."
When I sang, "hold me close" naramdaman ko ang paghigpit niya sa hug niya sa waist ko and I just rested my head so comfortably and tumingin sa stars, gabi na kasi, and kitang kita from here ang mga bituin.
"Remember those nights, we stayed up just laughing on the phone
remember that time you said that "I would never let you go"
Remember that time when I said that we could never ever be
but I know it's a lie because deep down inside
Is a coward hiding underneath all the silly games I play
with the batting of lashes and all the charming things I say
I'm an addict to the fact that I could lure you in with just a crack of a smile
but with you I might want to stay a while,"
I felt his head closer and nakabaon na ang kanyang ulo sa neck ko, and I feel my heart beat, it's beating abnormally and parang nagwawala na zoo ang nasa loob ng tummy ko but I tried to sing normally and hindi pinapakita kay Ryan na naaapektuhan ako.
"Running away from what we could have been
I'm losing myself in this game that we're in
I didn't mean to let you in now everything is backfiring
Keep me sane in your arms tonight
hold me close that I might not fall
but I know that we might be destined for life
a tragic flaw of mine...
is running away."
I don't know why but parang may something iyong kanta eh, suddenly nare-relate ko sarili ko sa kanta and I realized pinapatamaan ko self ko, omg, "Baby...", napahinto ako sa pag-iisip about sa song when he make lambing voice.
I ask him why and then he said, "Am I bad if I felt happy that you're jealous?", medyo hindi na process sa utak ko ang tinanong niya but when I finally gets what he said, sasapakin ko na sana siya but mas hinigpitan niya ang hawak sa waist ko and naramdaman ko ang cheeks niya sa cheeks ko and said these weird phrase...
"Don't worry, I'm fucking jealous too."