Chapter 4 - What it feels like to be jealous...

For a few days everything was going pretty well. Just me seeing him everyday and observe his weird traits. I was being such a weirdo that when he was biting his thumbnail I thought of it as so sweet. And whenever he would even try to catch me glimpsing at him, I would turn around as if nothing happened. Everything was going quite peaceful until I caught sight of something quite fishy. I saw Robin standing in front of our Principal's office. I was so shocked because I thought he was a good boy and not the ones who would be punished. Anyways he was punished and I could do nothing but again watch him. But suddenly the girl whom I saw on his Facebook profile, came with her girl group and stood right beside me for the dispersal process. In our school the dispersal process is quite festive before boarding the bus; all students are gathered in the courtyard ready to board their own bus as the announcement goes on. It was really uncomfortable for me to stand beside the one who is loved by the one I like. Suddenly I see her smiling and looking towards the Principal's office and now when I look at Robin, he's smiling too looking down, then was the time when I understood two 'lovebirds' were having their own time. I see them locking their eyes at each other, blushing and smiling as one sees another. Talking in their so-in-love 'sign language'. But what they didn't realise all this time was beside one of them someone was burning FIRE!!! And the smoke was invisible but still strong enough to numb their senses. The jealousy in my heart was increasing with their rising contact. I was literally so angry and heart-broken over someone whom I have never even talked to! I went in the bus and didn't even look at him out of my anger. On getting home, I was having a flashback of their lovey-dovey moments today. I was so sad that I went straight to the terrace again and started crying. Thoughts came around my mind, "Was I really being the unwanted one in the relationship between them, am I being a third-person, do I want them to break-up just for my sake, am I being cruel or am I being the other girl?". People will start hating me and will call me names is that what I want in life? Am I being silly loving him and being jealous? Well, people will really think that but is it not possible to love someone unconditionally? That night was another night full of self-doubt and queries. That was the day when I realised jealousy in love.