Guilt started to consume me.
It was the only thing that remained in my mind.
Enough for him to notice something was wrong.
I wondered if he would accept me if he knew.
Soh-ho never accepted me even when I was normal.
I needed a break.
A relief from reality.
Without fear of losing trust.
I went to the most deserted part of the beach that I could find.
I crushed the sand below me as I sat wondering why the ocean was so blue.
Stratus clouds decorated the sky above me.
The oceans presence seemed to drown me in its sight.
It pulls me into the vase unseen distance.
I brushed my hand across the paths of sand beside me.
My fingers interlacing with the small curves.
I gave a deep exhale.
Sitting my clothes on the beach felt so untamed.
Not as much as lashing out a tail from an ancient creature that was told to be extinct.
I guess I never got the memo.
I braced the oncoming waves and dived in deep.
The water covered me with a calm feeling that felt like silk.
It pulled me in and accepted my existence.
It was daylight and I was wary of boats.
Curious eyes watching the waters for unwanted fins.
Funny how the ocean's rim is paved with skyscrapers and owned by trespassers disguised as visitors.
Yet it is the freest of our world and the most beautiful of nature.
I spent my hours watching the wide variety of fish dance through the passageways of a coral reef like a ballerina's stage.
Sea turtles laid the detail to the canvas that surrounded me.
Being so low.
So untouched by humans.
Makes me wonder if it is even worth it to walk back on the beaches shore.
I swam the waters until I rested, floating on the water's surface and admiring the pattern of stars shining above me.
The moon was like a queen watching over her kingdom.
I was just a visitor.
A small piece of art that was added to the mysterious gallery that the ocean likes to keep hidden.
Funny how you can never really see the stars until you leave the overwhelming light of the city.
Constellations looked magical sleeping amongst the dark sky.
Making it back on shore, I could feel the cold air heat my skin.
I traced the rim of my fin.
Being a human never felt this dole.
We go about our days pestering the details of our body.
Measuring the size of our waist and stressing the so-called ideal of beauty.
Though if they were changed into an unknown being, not of this world, I wonder how their self-acceptance would fit in.
Being able to escape and lose myself in silence.
It was brief.