Waters sipping through my hands and all I can do is think of it as sand.
Could you imagine?
A moment in life where you aren't yourself anymore.
Cursed by fate and brushed away by magic that can't be seen.
I was on a bus, sitting next to shuttering windows and feeling every bump the old paved road welcomed our class with.
We were on a senior hiking trip that consisted of beautiful clear skies and sweat.
H20, being the only thing that was a danger to me.
I was happy to enjoy my love for tea.
Thankfully juices and caffeine wasn't a sin for me.
Camping didn't seem fun.
I had to be paired with the girls.
My only friend just happened to be male.
Surrounded by gossip and the latest news on couples.
I wasn't interested.
Not as much as the glass of water that one of the girls kept picking up like she was going to take a drink and then sitting back down after every fourth word that escaped her mouth.
After my change, I started to crave water more.
Like a lust that I couldn't satisfy unless I touched the salty sea water of the ocean.
But I wasn't thirsty.
Maybe it's normal for other mermaids.
If there were any.
We changed our clothes and started hiking up the mountains trail.
Mist covered the morning's fog and soaked our clothing with a damp and thin layer of dew.
Thankfully I wore thick.
Too worried for any wet surprises.
I might regret it later.
The sun was fierce and unruly to the world.
A bright star with no mercy for the weak.
The girls strolled behind the boy's group.
I could see Korain in the distance.
He kept looking back.
Was he looking for me.
I could feel a longing for his sight.
It scared me.
Nightfall was drawing near and the sweat that drenched our bodies was heavy with stress.
Our muscles tired from our travels.
Korain snuck up behind me.
I wondered how he managed to get behind the girl's group.
He ushered for my attention and slowed my pace behind our class.
We chatted.
Talked about the trip so far.
Our love for fresh air and our release from school work.
I missed him.
I see him every day at school.
But I missed him.
Somehow along the way, the class become blurred behind our voices.
We were alone.
Lost away from the class.
It was getting dark.
A little too fast for us not to panic.
Thankfully we had one of the class tents.
Survival becomes more important than a few students having to cram in a tent together.
One less was needed at this point.
I was cold and scared.
He shook in fear as we fitted the tents corners into the tough dirt.
We perched our tent right before the peak of a cliff.
It seemed dangerous, but we could be seen if our class began searching for us in the morning.
Until morning, it was frightening to know that we were alone.
But I had him, and he was enough.
We had a small battery powered lamp and the weather never seemed to be on my side.
Rain waved down the sides of the tent as the wind rushed onto the thin fabric and splatter it in all directions.
He could tell I was uncomfortable.
He could tell that I was cold.
Though he didn't know that it wasn't because of how close we were to each other.
The possibility of the tent leaking.
It wouldn't let me calm down.
My breathing was erratic, and it was only us two.
Alone.
Together.
I closed my eyes and could feel my heart beating so hard in my chest, I thought it would burst like one of those plums that would bear too heavy of weight and thump to the floor below it.
They always seemed so tough, who would have thought that they would hurt so easily.
I was about to panic.
My body couldn't help the stress of worry.
I.., I could feel warmth.
Surprisingly inviting and soft.
He could sense my anxiety.
He pulled me into his arms and rested his head on my shoulder.
I was nervous, but it was so inviting.
Something that seemed too familiar.
Like the ocean grasping onto my soul.
He was gentle.
Rubbing my back for comfort.
He seemed to need it just as much as I did.
We couldn't sleep.
I didn't know if it was because of the loud waves of wind hitting the tent or the slight fear of flying off the cliff's edge.
We shared secrets all night, but the one secret that seemed to matter the most.
Telling him a secret that seemed too crazy to be true.
Would he even believe me?
I finally told him what Soh-ho had done to me.
How he hurt me and embarrassed me.
He told me how his little brother used to play house with his stuffed animals.
He played with him too, just so he wouldn't feel different.
I couldn't help but want to know more about him.
All the little things that were never mentioned before.
I was selfish and guilty.
I wanted to learn more about him, but I couldn't open fully about the last few months that I've mentally suffered.
It was chilly and warm.
I made it that way.
At some point, the night came to an end.
I was in his arms and we were in the same sleeping bag.