Felix and I had been getting along lately. We'd talk on the phone, text each other and hang out when the others had something to do, and I sat at his table in the cafeteria when the rest weren't around. Simon was often there with him. I liked Simon, he was exactly like Felix, just more into alternative fashion.
Things were going so well that I forgot what Ji-Hun and Aiyana had said about Felix and Amanda dating on and off frequently. I'd almost even erased the thought from my mind, my attitude around Amanda during the next council meeting didn't change as well.
Everything was going well, until I saw Amanda and Felix talking at a corner of the hall after the meeting ended. Everyone had left — I'd left too. I'd only returned to ask Felix about the color scheme we were supposed to use. I'd stood there for a while watching them talk as they held hands, their eyes fixed on each other as disgustingly wide smiles played on their faces. I left soon after, deciding that I could ask Felix about the color scheme for the school's website later.
"What's wrong with you?"
I blinked, being pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of Ji-Hun's voice. I sighed, realizing what I'd been thinking about — I shouldn't let it get to me so much.
A nudge on the arm was what made me turn towards the seat on the side where Ji-Hun was sitting. He was frowning at me, probably tired of having to remind me that we had work to do. It was IT period, and we were working on an animation video that was supposed to be thirty percent of our term's grade.
"Did I make a mistake by asking you to be my partner?" Ji-Hun asked, rubbing the side of his thin eyes with loose fists.
"No." I shook my head, turning back to the computer I was working on before looking at the time displayed on the bottom right of the screen. Great — I'd zoned out for about ten minutes. That needs to be a new world record.
"No," I repeated again, cursing under my breath. "I'll get to work, sorry for slacking off."
"Ben?"
"I'm sorry. I don't know why I wasn't concentrating—"
"Did something happen?"
I looked from my laptop screen to Ji-Hun. His brows were cocked in a worried frown, its intensity making me look away from him. Was it safe to tell Ji-Hun? No one would exactly understand my moodiness unless they knew about Felix.
"Is this about Felix?"
I blinked in panic at the sound of Ji-Hun's words, turning to him with a horrified look.
He knows? I asked myself, trying to calm down. That's not possible... Or, maybe I'm just over thinking things. He probably doesn't know that I like Felix, maybe he's just talking about us hanging out because of the work we have to do together?
"You can stop over thinking this now. I know you like Felix. You're so bloody obvious," Ji-Hun said with a shake of his head. He then turned, as if checking if anyone was listening before he bent his head to the side a bit.
"Okay, now that's out of the way, did something happen?"
"How do you know?" I asked in a hushed tone, ignoring the question he'd asked me. I was starting to wonder if I'm that easy to read. Did he know before I started working with Felix? Was that why he recommended me to the council?
Ji-Hun rolled his eyes, sitting up on the wooden chair before he ran his fingers through his bangs, his fine hair slipping through the space between them, and the bangs eventually settling into a neat fold above his eyes. "I just assumed before, but you kept staring at his table at lunch throughout this term, so what was I supposed to think?"
I felt my face warm up at his words. Yes, I'd been a little careless with my gazing this past month and a half.
"Okay, can you answer my question now?" Ji-Hun asked, drumming his fingers against the A4 papers he was working with on the desk. They had his neat type set handwriting, and clean drawings on them. I looked from his pale fingers to his face that was now displaying an amused smile before I eventually nodded in defeat.
"Yes," I mumbled, making Ji-Hun's smile widened. "I saw Amanda and Felix holding hands and talking. I know it's not much but it threw me off..."
"Felix isn't dating Amanda."
"But you guys said that they have a regular on and off thing, remember?" I said, reminding him of what he and Aiyana had disclosed in the study hall weeks ago. I heard Ji-Hun sigh as I watched him nod at my words.
"Then just ask him," he suddenly said, making me frown.
"Ask him what?"
"Ask him if he's dating Amanda. It'll take like two minutes," Ji-Hun said, raising two of his slim fingers to emphasize his point. My frown only deepened at his suggestion.
"So, I should just ask him?"
"Yes."
"I hope the two of you are doing actual work," Mr. Gray, our IT teacher said, making us turn towards him. He was standing by a desk a couple of rows away from ours. His arms were folded as he gave us a not too impressed look.
"Sorry," Ji-Hun muttered as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Mr. Gray sighed, shaking his head before turning his attention back to the student sitting at the desk he was standing beside.
Ji-Hun and I continued to work on our project and we didn't mention Felix again. Time passed by and the period eventually ended. During lunch I let my gaze fall on Felix again. Simon was at the table with him as always, but the addition of Amanda threw me off a bit.
Maybe I should just ask him. I thought to myself, considering Ji-Hun's suggestion. I mean, it couldn't hurt. I was going to meet up with him after school ended to work on the school website, and on his some more before he dropped me off at my place. Maybe I could just bring it up randomly like a bro would?
Wait. How does that even work?
"Well, it looks like they're dating again." Aiyana's voice made me turn to her.
Yes, sit there with your phone and crush my hopes. Thank you very much. You're the kindest person I know.
The rest of the table didn't seem interested in her comment though, so she returned to her phone. Wyatt and Ji-Hun were doing homework, so they probably hadn't heard her — thankfully. I didn't need a thirty minutes discussion about Felix and Amanda at lunch.
The lunch period ended, and the rest of the school's day went by. I was left in the hallway on my own at the end of school when the others decided to leave. I waited for a while, staring at the crowd of students as I tried to think the best way to ask Felix about him and Amanda.
I know. I should ask him just before we leave—
"Ben."
I heard my name being called in Felix's familiar voice. I forced myself to smile when I turned to find him walking towards me. There was no need to get him worried about my mood. He was wearing mud colored jeans and a white button-up shirt.
"Come on," he said when he got to me before he started walking towards the school's entrance. Following him out the building and into the parking lot, we headed over to his red SUV parked by the tree next to the basketball court. I got into the passager seat, as he got into the driver's seat. I watched him turn the key in the ignition, before turning the AC and the Radio on.
"So, how far are we into the basics?" he asked, taking out his tablet from his backpack before putting the bag away in the backseat.
"Err... I wanted to work on the color scheme," I muttered, pinching the hairs curled at my hairline as I look through the documents on my PC. I turned to find Felix nodding.
"You were supposed to show me the color scheme yesterday," he said, as his finger tapped again his tab's screen.
"I know. I wanted to show you after the meeting, but you were there with Amanda..."
Oh shit. I thought as I trailed off. I'd just told him without meaning to.
"I err, left. I just wanted to give you two some privacy," I said, feeling my face warm up as I turned towards him. He looked a little shocked, his eyes wide as his mouth seemed fixed in a painful looking 'o'.
"Oh, that," he said in a low tone, as if not wanting me to hear him.
"I..." He trailed before pausing suddenly. "I don't know what to say."
"Are you two dating?" I asked, seeing this as my opportunity to insert the question that had been daunting me. I watched as Felix creased his brows in thought, and I can't explain how relieved I felt when he shook his head.
"No," he said, still shaking his head. "No, not at all."
His words were followed by the near silence that was tinted by the sound of the AC and low music playing in the background. I just stared at him as he fidgeted with his fingers.
"Let's work on the site, okay," he finally said, returning his attention back to his tablet as I muttered a small agreement.
Although he'd told me what I wanted to hear, I could still feel some tension. I wanted to know what he was thinking about — what he was worried about. I turned back to him, biting my bottom lip before I spoke up.
"Hey, would you like to come over to my dad's shop tomorrow instead of staying in your car to work. It's a lot more spacious..." I let my question slip into a trail, unsure whether asking him to come over was the right thing to do in other to stir his thoughts away from my previous question.
"Ah," he said, looking up from his tablet to stare at me with a small frown. "Won't that be a bother?" He asked, making me shake my head.
"There's a room at the back where we could stay," I said, making Felix nod.
"Okay. I'll come," he said before looking down at his tablet. I turned my gaze back to my laptop screen as well, but Felix calling my name made me turn to him. I raised a brow when I noticed he looked flushed. He opened his mouth, and when nothing came out he groaned.
"Damn," he chuckled in a low tone, probably embarrassed.
"I just wanted to make it clear that I am not dating Amanda," he said, looking straight at me. I wasn't sure if my mouth would will me to talk so I just nodded. I spotted a small smile form on his lips before he returned his attention to his iPad.
What was that about? I wondered, but I didn't bother asking him directly. We worked for half an hour more before we called it a day and Felix dropped me at my place.
My sour attitude was gone, and now my mind was busy playing tricks on me and trying to over analysis why Felix thought he needed to clarify.
You're such a mess. I smiled to myself when I got to my bedroom.
Yes, a mess.
A mess of confused teenage hormones.