Kajol had finally reached the beach house and unpacked her suitcase, she was going to be staying there for three days. She went to her balcony taking in the fresh air then decided to scroll her Instagram page she wanted to call her digital marketing director about an advert they were supposed to post. She was about to call her about it when she stumbled on Varun's picture wishing Karishma a happy anniversary. Tears welled up in her eyes, she lost balance and sunk to the floor. Her hands were shaking, she thought about calling her mom then mentally stopped herself, there was no need to scare her. She reached for her phone that had fallen beside her when she sunk down and dialed her cousin's number. She wanted to talk to someone and her cousin would listen to her and not judge her. Their relationship was like that, they trusted each other. " Hello, good morning I hope I didn't wake you up?"
" Not at all, I was up with Aria most of the night and Sameer isn't in town at the moment so I have to play mom and dad at the moment". Rani answered stifling a yawn.
"Am sorry about that, how is my little munchkin doing? I have missed her, I will have to stop by when I come back to Delhi" Kajol informed.
"Feel free to drop by anytime, Aria misses your snuggles and she is reaching all her milestones. What do you mean come back, aren't you in Delhi, where are you?" Rani asked. "Am in Goa and I made an impulsive decision to buy a house and now am all alone in this house with my thoughts and now I feel like am going crazy and I really need someone to talk to". Kajol's voice was now breaking, she was on the verge of years.
Rani sat up in bed now very concerned about her cousin " Kajol, you are okay and you are going to be fine. I just want you to send me your location so that I am able to come to you". "How will you manage with Sameer not being in town, we can just talk on the phone" Kajol tried to convince Rani but she wasn't budging. She sent her the location pin and the call ended.
She informed Rahul to set up the guest room and sent him out to buy groceries. She was in no mood to leave the house and the fridge was not stocked up, she took a shower and got back to bed. She slept a dreamless sleep. Hours later, her eyes fluttered open trying to adjust to the light on her room. The curtains were drawn open and she was confused because she hadn't drawn them since she got into the room. She looked at her phone and it was past 5 pm, she had slept for long but atleast she felt rested. As she pulled back the covers to get out of bed, Rani opened her bedroom door " Oh you are awake!" " When did you get in? " Kajol looked at her in surprise. "We got in 30 minutes ago and you were so peaceful I didn't want to wake you up". " Am sorry, I didn't know who to call and mama wouldn't have been able to understand my inner turmoil". Kajol's tears were already flowing freely down her face.
Rani sat next to her on the bed and held her hands on her lap," I am here and willing to listen to you. I am happy that you have decided to open up to me. I was afraid that if you continued to keep things bottled up, that it was just going to eat up at you" Kajol was now full on crying. Rani continues "You're allowed to cry or even mourn your marriage, that was fourteen years of hard work, dedication, commitment and sacrifices that didn't go the way you planned". " I did everything mom asked me to do, I played by the rules. I was patient, submissive and even forgiving to his indiscretions. I woke up to him celebrating his one year anniversary, he posted the picture on Instagram" Kajol continued amid tears and sniffles "what about me, don't I deserve happiness, Varun gets to move on like I never existed in his life and am here still heartbroken. Am angry that he can still get a reaction out of me or wasn't I worthy of love, he couldn't love me".
Rani hugged her tightly " Kajol, you're enough and worthy of love" Rani tried to wipe the tears on her face. " You're the most beautiful, hardworking and resilient woman I have come across in my lifetime. I know you will rise from this. It is okay to be hurt, jealous and angry. Suppressing these emotions will only prolong this pain. You love fiercely and I believe that soon God will grant you someone who will love you beyond your wildest imaginations and restore all those wasted years with Varun".
Rani finished a bit teary eyed. Kajol nodded although still crying. " Now am just going to sit here and hold you while you cry your heart out because sometimes all we need is to cry it all out to feel better afterwards " Rani concluded smiling at Kajol.
*********
Shah Rukh was in his office unusually early on Monday morning, he had seen Kajol's text the previous morning and he couldn't help the guilt he felt after reading it. He had just had a passionate night with his legally wedded wife but still he couldn't help shake off the feeling in his heart, he felt as if he had cheated on Kajol. He sighed as he leaned into his seat and turned to face the city through his wide office window. He was in his office headquarters, Khan Construction Company. He started his dream as a architectural student and worked himself to the bone to reach where he was today.
He didn't have a fall back plan, it was either he succeeded or succeeded, there was no two ways about it. He had a crappy childhood, he came from nothing and decided to make something for himself. He exceeded his expectations. He was proud of himself. He was a shark in making business deals, always stalking his prey to find loopholes in contracts to benefit himself. But this Kajol issue was starting to scare him, he couldn't think well and as a person who prided himself about decision making he felt like a total failure in this matter.
Siddarth's voice boomed on the intercom, cutting short his thoughts to inform him that Karan his friend was at the lobby on his way up to see him. Karan was one of his childhood friends who always had his back. He needed to talk to someone and maybe Karan would change his perspective on the matter. He poured himself scotch whisky one for Karan too. Karan opened his office door and walked in pulling out a chair to sit.
"Hey, you look like you're in deep thoughts. Are the kids okay? Gauri?" Karan asked.
" I kissed her, then I slept with my wife and the whole time I was thinking about her, the whole freaking time. I feel like a jerk or maybe I am a jerk" words spilled right out of Shah Rukh's mouth.
Karan who had taken a sip of his drink almost choked on it. He didn't understand what his friend was going on and on about.
" Hey slow down, I don't know what you're talking about. Who did you kiss? Are you cheating on Gauri?" Karan asked as he gave his friend a concerned look. " I am not cheating on my wife" he sighed then continued "or maybe I am, because cheating doesn't only have to be physical".
"What's going on then?" Karan asked.
"I went to a business dinner, I met a very intriguing woman and since I laid my eyes on her I haven't stopped thinking about her. She is a constant distraction. So yes am cheating on Gauri emotionally if you put it that way" Shah Rukh said as he stood up to refill his glass. If he was going to lay his thoughts out in the open he was going to need a strong drink. He gulped it down in one go. Karan stood up to take the bottle away from him. " There's no solution for this situation at the bottom of this bottle, so I suggest you sit down and let us think of a way to go about it" Karan reprimanded him.
" I still don't get it, you talked about a kiss? Tell me everything, I want to know every detail". Karan asked as he sat down. " I went to great lengths to get her number after the dinner, I even threatened to fire Siddarth if he didn't find her number. I called her and invited her to a lunch date. We talked and the conversations felt as if we had known each other our entire lives, the chemistry was electric. She blocked me right after the date for reasons best known to her. When my attempts to reach her went unanswered, I looked up a contract she was interested in and pulled some favours from friends I just wanted to be in her presence again. I set up a meeting which I barged in in the middle of her presentation just to rattle her. I thought that maybe if I saw her again, make my power play moves on her that she would cower and the infatuation would vanish. God, was I kidding myself, when I saw her again I couldn't hold myself back. I followed her to her office after the meeting, we argued a bit and emotions ran high and I initiated the kiss". Shah Rukh finished as he stood near his window looking outside.
" My only question is, are you sure that you are ready to risk everything for this feelings that you have?" Karan asked him. " I am still navigating my thoughts, I am guilt ridden. I see her everywhere I look, I made love to my wife and the whole time I kept thinking about her. I am in too deep and this is going to hurt a lot". Shah Rukh ran his hands through his hair. "Look, I lack the moral grounds to judge you right now, whatever you feel in your heart that you need to do, I will support you, okay na". Shah Rukh nodded.
"I didn't plan for this, I wasn't looking for it" he added. " I am sure you already feel like a total mess. Don't beat yourself up about it. Am sure you will make the right decision " Karan assured.
*************
Kajol had spent the remaining days with Rani and baby Aria. Rani had brought her out of the shell she was in, she had kept her company, she had listened and encouraged her. She was so grateful, Aria had brought a sense of fulfillment to her with her cute little antics. She had enjoyed herself and she was ready to go back to work and continue to do what she loved the most. She was grateful that Rani dropped everything just to be by her side, that was love in the most purest of forms and she really felt loved.
They got back to Delhi and Kajol was putting together her ideas for her team meeting the next day when she receives a text from Shah Rukh ' What time should we meet'. She had forgotten about sending him a text. She replied back ' I am gonna have a packed day tomorrow since I have not been in the office for a week, I sure will let you know when we can see'. She smiled as she pressed send. She wasn't going to think about him too much. She needed to put her ambitious above all else.
Immediately she set the phone down, it rang " Shah Rukh, I can't do this right now am so busy with planning my day tomorrow....."
" I just wanted to find out if you got back safely and now I have confirmed that you're well and not trying to avoid me"
"Why would I try to avoid you?" She queried. " Maybe because you are using your work as an excuse to not see me. Or maybe you don't trust yourself around me, I distract you" he finished his voice at a lower octave. " Am not afraid of you, not avoiding you and certainly don't find you attractive enough to distract me".
Kajol ended the call abruptly. Fearing that she might reveal more than she needed to. 'well, great now he had wiggled himself back into my mind she sighed frustrated.
**********
Kajol had just finished her morning meetings and was putting together her business margin analytics when Anya came into her office to inform her that she had a guest. She waved her hand up for Anya to send them in, her face not leaving whatever she was doing on her monitor.
" I guess this is a better welcome than the last time I was here"
"Shah Rukh, is this going to be happening every time," she gestured at him "you coming to my office without prior notice?"
" Am sorry about that, I pride myself in the ability to control my feelings but when it comes to you, I can't seem to be able to hold my feelings in".
" I can't go through this with you, why do you insist on pursuing something that doesn't exist?" Kajol leaned back on her chair. She had built the life around her by herself, brick for brick. If he needed a front seat in it he needed to work harder. She wasn't going to give into him that easily.
Shah Rukh chuckled and stood up paced her office, " You really think am dumb enough to accept your denial of these feelings. I felt you kiss me back"
"Coz you're a good kisser, that one I can attest to it. It was just one kiss that didn't mean anything, stop blowing things out of proportion". Kajol was enjoying the look of frustration on his face. She hoped she hadn't bit more than what she could chew.
" Then kiss me now and prove it to me that the kiss meant nothing" he stalked around her desk and turned her chair sideways to face him. Kajol's breath hitched and her heart was beating so fast.
" Mr Khan, what's the meaning of this, you do know that I could sue you for sexual harassment at this point" Kajol pressed showing confidence while shaking out of her wits in her head. " You're a married man, why are you doing this?" Shah Rukh leaned in looked into Kajol's eyes, the tension between them palpable. He captured her lips. The kiss was slow and full of passion a gentle exploration of unspoken desires as if he was trying to communicate something he couldn't use words to describe.
Kajol's resolve broke and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The kiss deepened and became more urgent, a release of pent up emotions that had been simmering between them for weeks. The kiss was a validation of the connection they shared. Shah Rukh's hand were everywhere his touch was urgent and it made her skin burn. She was so turned on, she moaned into his mouth while her hands were tangled in his hair. He finally released her lips and touched their foreheads together trying to catch their breath.
" Can you still convince yourself that you don't like me?"
" I will be expecting you for dinner tonight"
" I will send you the location and please don't keep me waiting " he smiled and exited her office.