Tajima Sanzo, the 669th Demon King, sat slumped against the half-broken wall of his ruined shack, staring at the sky in utter defeat.
His entire body ached from hours of pointless labor, his stomach growled angrily, and to top it all off, Raviria had returned empty-handed from her hunt.
Beelzecluck stood on a rock, watching him with the same deadpan disappointment it had carried since the moment they met.
Raviria, clearly frustrated, was kicking nearby rocks for stress relief.
Tajima groaned. "Alright. We have to face the facts. We suck at everything."
The system chimed in immediately.
[CONFIRMED: YOU INDEED SUCK AT EVERYTHING.]
Tajima clenched his fists. "I WASN'T ASKING YOU."
Beelzecluck tilted its head, unimpressed.
Raviria ignored him and kept kicking rocks.
Tajima sighed. "Alright, let's break this down logically. We need two things to survive—food and a real base. But we've already failed at both. So, what's the next move?"
Beelzecluck bawked unhelpfully.
Raviria squinted at him like he was an idiot.
The system chimed in again.
[HINT: YOU HAVE AN OVERPOWERED SUMMONING SKILL THAT YOU HAVE BEEN IGNORING.]
Tajima froze.
"…Wait."
A slow realization hit him like a runaway cart.
"I CAN JUST SUMMON SUPPLIES."
Beelzecluck and Raviria stared at him.
The system roasted him immediately.
[CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE DISCOVERED THE OBVIOUS AFTER SEVERAL CHAPTERS.]
Tajima clutched his head. "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS EARLIER!?"
Raviria's foot twitched violently.
Beelzecluck turned away, as if pretending it didn't know him.
Tajima stood up dramatically. "ALRIGHT! NEW PLAN! WE'RE GOING FULL GACHA MODE!"
---
Tajima took a deep breath and spread his arms wide. It was time for another humiliating ritual.
He prepared himself mentally, because the system always demanded some kind of ridiculous activation phrase.
And sure enough, it appeared.
[TO ACTIVATE GACHA OP, PLEASE SHOUT THE FOLLOWING PHRASE:]
"OH GREAT AND MIGHTY GACHA GOD, GRANT ME YOUR BLESSINGS OF DEUS EX MACHINA!"
Tajima stared at the screen in pure pain.
Raviria immediately turned to him, fists clenched, as if preparing to beat the stupidity out of him.
Beelzecluck turned around and started pecking at the dirt, pretending not to be involved.
Tajima groaned. "This is so painful… but fine! Here we go!"
He took a deep breath.
And then—
"OH GREAT AND MIGHTY GACHA GOD, GRANT ME YOUR BLESSINGS OF DEUS EX MACHINA!!!"
The air trembled.
The sky split open.
A mystical light beamed down from above.
Tajima braced himself, hoping for something amazing.
The system announced the result.
[CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE OBTAINED: "DARK LORD'S RESIDENCE (BASIC EDITION)."]
Tajima blinked. "…Wait, WHAT?"
A massive burst of light erupted from the shack.
Beelzecluck flapped its wings in panic.
Raviria shielded her eyes.
When the dust settled, Tajima slowly opened his eyes to see…
…A slightly larger, slightly less terrible shack.
Tajima stared.
Beelzecluck stared.
Raviria stared.
Tajima twitched violently. "THAT'S IT!?"
The system smugly confirmed.
[YOUR SHACK HAS BEEN UPGRADED TO: 'RUN-DOWN HOUSE WITH MINOR IMPROVEMENTS.']
Tajima rushed to the door, nearly tripping over himself. He flung it open.
Inside, his crate throne was still there.
The interior was slightly larger.
There were more holes in the roof.
Some of the windows were broken.
There was absolutely no furniture, no beds, and no supplies.
In the corner…
A tiny patch of land with exactly five carrots growing.
Tajima felt his soul leave his body.
"I… I have a garden now…?"
The system cheerfully updated his status.
[CONGRATULATIONS! YOU NOW OWN A 'RUN-DOWN HOUSE WITH SMALL CARROT FIELD.']
Tajima fell to his knees.
Raviria walked in, inspected the interior, and immediately turned back around.
Beelzecluck stood at the doorway, shaking its head in pure shame.
Tajima let out a deep, exhausted sigh. "Alright. Fine. It's… an improvement. But I still have no food, no real furniture, and the roof is practically made of Swiss cheese."
The system gave one last message.
[WARNING: YOUR ROOF WILL PROBABLY COLLAPSE DURING THE NEXT STORM.]
Tajima flopped onto the floor.
"I hate this world…"
---
Raviria and Beelzecluck watched as their so-called leader lay motionless on the wooden floor.
After several minutes of suffering, Tajima slowly sat up.
"…Fine. I'll admit it. This is better than before."
Raviria and Beelzecluck looked skeptical.
Tajima cleared his throat. "Alright. Now that we have… whatever this is, the next goal is simple—we need actual food."
Raviria immediately turned to leave, ready to hunt again.
Tajima held up a hand. "Wait! I have a better idea!"
Beelzecluck rolled its eyes.
Tajima pointed at the carrot patch. "We're going full farming simulator!"
Silence.
Raviria slowly turned back to him.
Beelzecluck gave him a look of betrayal.
Tajima nodded confidently. "Think about it! A self-sustaining food source! If we farm, we won't have to worry about Raviria failing a hunt or Beelzecluck refusing to contribute!"
Raviria crossed her arms.
Beelzecluck pecked his foot aggressively.
The system chimed in.
[FARMING UNLOCKED! WARNING: YOUR AGRICULTURAL KNOWLEDGE IS NONEXISTENT.]
Tajima deflated instantly.
"…Right. I have no idea how to farm."
Raviria sighed and walked back toward the door.
Tajima quickly stopped her. "Wait! Fine! You go hunt again! But don't come back empty-handed this time!"
Raviria slowly cracked her knuckles.
Tajima turned pale. "W-WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE—"
Raviria drop-kicked him.
Tajima flew out the door and landed in the carrot field.
Beelzecluck nodded approvingly.
The system delivered its final message.
[PROGRESS: 1%. KEEP STRUGGLING.]
Tajima wheezed.
"I… hate… this world…"
---
To Be Continued…